{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just found out a v toxic person from my past, someone who actively targeted me with emotional abuse and manipulation, just got hired as an intern at my shop. What do I do?", "post_id": "5a8dba531a507c00132f7abd", "reply_count": 52, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Just found out a v toxic person from my past, someone who actively targeted me with emotional abuse and manipulation, just got hired as an intern at my shop. What do I do?

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I think it depends on the relationship OP has with management, but I’ve been in a similar situation and found that relying on management and HR to help resolve the situation was not helpful. In retrospect, I wish I had felt empowered to handle it on my own — like in a one-on-one conversation with the person I had issues with. And OP doesn’t have a professional issue with the intern yet, they are only speculating that there could be an issue because of the past. OP has the upper hand because they are senior to the intern. Until there is actually a problem, I wouldn’t create one.

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👆🏼exactly. (Edit: to the last two posts) Unless you work in a small office where you're going to have to interact/work with/see this person on a regular basis, I recommend trying to ignore the person and/or be the bigger person. You will definitely not always work with people you like, and further down your career, those people are just as likely to follow you around as your friends. I once had a person try to spread rumors about me at a new agency, and then we ended up back together at another shop. I made an offhand reference to it once and moved on. If this person persists in being who they were before, def talk to your support friends and supervisor. HR may or may be able to help I dunno

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Payback time. 🍿

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@Freelance, why would OP need to look for a new job versus the abuser? HR should care whether their employees are abusive. I would definitely talk to someone about it. Being abused is not just "personal." We bring our wole selves to work, and that means the intern is bringing their abusive self.

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Transparency is key. Tell your manager and let them know that you’ll keep it professional, but want to avoid any issues that may arise. Remember, you’re already there and they are new — you have the upper hand.

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Talk to your creative manager and tell them the situation so you dont work with them.

likehelpful

Intern = nobody. You are a staff CW. Take control and state it will not be tolerated, do it firmly and be done with it.

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☝️ yup. I’d only consider a new job if my current employer was completely unsupportive of my concerns. I’d probably hate having to consider switching jobs because of some punk ass intern that thinks they have the right to behave like that to me or anyone else.

likehelpful

Assert your dominance by taking a shit on their desk

likefunny

So this person is an asshole, not a predator. Gotta' learn how to deal with assholes in all shapes/sizes/colors/orientations in life, and especially in advertising. Don't involve management in anything until this person has crossed a line with you that is affecting your work. "This person is defensive and we didn't get on well in portfolio school" is not really something I would bring to management. If they're that shitty, chances are that they'll display it for everyone as an intern.

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^ OK, not bad. But still not the best move and not sure how it helps you grow and deal with stuff on your own. It sounds more like running to the principal's office. That's not the best way to develop self-leadership skills or confidence in oneself.

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Load em up with busy work! Preferably out of the office. First task: send them to every Home Depot in the county looking for “checkerboard point”. Muy time consuming.

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I would not talk to management about this person being hired at this point. I understand where you are coming from, but this sort of relationship should not impact your work. Edit :: You’re not going to like everyone you work with. There are a lot of manipulative, two-faced people out there, and it’s worthwhile to learn how to navigate these situations without involving management before necessary.

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The passive aggressive friendliness is to make you feel uncomfortable. So to get them to stop, telling them won’t do much. Instead just act chill (as much as it goes against you). Play along while keeping as much distance as possible. It’s water off a ducks back. Don’t give them ammunition - and don’t start acting hostile in your own workplace. If they are as volatile as you’ve described, they’ll find another target soon, and only then does it become the company’s issue.

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They’re an intern. Tell them to get you a coffee and not look you in the eye.

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Please check back in 3 months and let us know what happened.

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Keep personal things personal, and do your best to keep things professional with him or her. Look for a new job if it will affect you too strongly.

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If I were the intern I'd be more scared than OP, who is already inhouse. And as far as OP, id wait to see if there are issues.

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My money is on the intern at this point.

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If they’re an intern I’m assuming you crossed paths with them while you were both in school and younger. I’d give them a chance to see if they’ve grownup before I started worrying and taking your possibly irrelevant fears up the ladder

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Be aware, vigilant, whatever. Maybe, rather than going to HR/Mgmt first, mention your past with this parson to a *trusted* colleague - that way if they try and subvert you, others will back up your position should it come down to needing to bubble it up the ladder.

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UPDATE: talked to management. Was and am fully supported in my decision to keep my distance and not work with them! Simply stated my concern about their toxicity/manipulation/combative nature, was listened to and encouraged to stay in communication about this person and their behavior. 🤗

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