{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just need to gripe. My partner of 10 years and I don’t plan on having kids. Why shouldn’t I get a paid sabbatical in lieu of parental leave? (Could apply to straight peeps too)", "post_id": "5bc7ec1fb9d4550014318129", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "58f80c96ae9f610010f866a8", "bowl_name": "LGBT 🐠" }

Just need to gripe. My partner of 10 years and I don’t plan on having kids. Why shouldn’t I get a paid sabbatical in lieu of parental leave? (Could apply to straight peeps too)

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Also raising a kid isn’t like a sabbatical lol. You’ve gotta change diapers

like

Parental leave is a specific benefit aimed to enable employees to have a family while retaining them at the firm. Parental leave is not a vacation or a sabbatical. Same way disability leave doesn’t compare to a sabbatical. If your colleague gets hit a bus and has to go on short term disability, you wouldn’t have much standing to ask for a sabbatical because you were more careful crossing the street

like

Because equity and equality aren’t the same thing

like

Good point! I get 8 hours of sleep. Worth it 😂

like

So you’re asking for a free extended vacation? For doing what exactly?

like

Parental leave and sabbatical really aren’t the same thing... unless you’re planning to spend that time working in a maternity ward? 😬

like

No. You’re not getting the short end of the stick. Have you ever had to take care of a new born for more than a few days? Or even be around a new born that can’t sleep and needs constant attention?

like

Not every benefit available applies to you, the game’s the game 🤷🏿‍♀️

like

This is what equality feels like. I’m not at all jealous of my hereto colleagues getting parental leave... 😉 my LCR should be lower or my salary higher or something... right?!

like

I don’t think it’s me that’s missing the point here , bud

like

Knowing my manhood works and I can contribute to the over population? </being facetious if it wasn’t obvious>

like

^ yes. ST disability is a great corollary. Someone may be laying around doing nothing on disability - this is not the same as getting a vacation or sabbatical

like

Fair points by people here however let’s not make a mockery of the underlying sentiment of what OP is trying to get to. I sometimes also feel we childless folks, either homosexual or straight get the short end of the stick. And let’s not compare a 4 month paternity to a posting in a Siberian hard labor camp. Depends on a case by case basis but I’ve known guys with a lot of family support who’ve still taken paternity twice within a 3 year window and have a somewhat cushy time. All paid for.

like

Not sure the STD is a true comparison - having a child is a choice (gay or straight), getting hit by a bus is not. I had a straight female colleague who felt like OP, she was a partner, she took a leave and it was treated like maternity leave by the firm. She adopted 2 years later and took a real leave. There were many of us that thought the first leave was total bullshit. But she got away with it. #connected

like

A different point that some may argue is that having a child offers a more legitimate excuse to push back on some work conflicts or have clearer boundaries around evenings or travel. I see this point but sometimes this is a problem of childless people not pushing back enough with their own work boundaries. I’m not good at this either but it should be more acceptable for those without kids to push back on travel, etc for time with their SO or friends or to pursue hobbies and have some free time

like

Also aren’t sabbaticals unpaid?

^ I didn’t say it’s a joy ride. But you’re missing the point. If you’re happy the way things are, OK.

I wouldn’t say your getting the short end of the stick. After parental leave is over you have to go back on the road. Now what if your partner works long hours too? Who is taking care of the child/children? Even if you can afford child care, it doesn’t solve for the fact that you’re unable to spend more time with you kid(s) So I wouldn’t say that childless consultants get the short end of the stick.

What do you want? Companies to give indefinite paid parental leave until the kids are ready for internship? Lol.

You should have a paid sabbatical to get over the fact that you will be punished for not having a child. If you were straight D would promote you for having a baby.

Related Posts

Anyone realized their child is a very poor speller? What did you and how did you help them? My child is in 2nd grade and I want to help before it gets even worse. Open to all advice. TIA

likehelpful

Going back to work next week after 4 months of maternity leave and I’m super nervous about it 😔. I’m sure it’ll be fine but I wish that I could stay home a bit longer 😔

like

Expecting dad 🙋🏾‍♂️, when is a good time to starting shopping for new baby?

Is it possible to push back on a parental leave policy? I work at a startup and they’re sharing with me the plan today (I’m the first pregnancy).

like

Got a new car in NJ last month. Temperory registration expires tomorrow and dealer citing delays due to COVID for new plates. Says I will not get for next 2 to 3 weeks but can drive as cops understand delays due to COVID. What do I do? I need a car to be able to drive my kid around.

like

I feel like my kids 1st grade teacher is being too strict, but I'm not sure if this is normal or I'm being sensitive because it's my child. E.g. she gave him 2/10 for his math homework because he doodled on the page, colored in the circle that has the page number, didn't draw the word problem neatly, wrote his last name under the name line, and says some of his numbers aren't legible. All his answers were correct, except one where he forgot to fill in the blank. Is this normal? X-posting

like

I lost my father a few months ago and I’m not coping well. Has anyone used an employee assistance program for this? Should I just seek a counselor privately?

like

Has anyone figured out anything creative for a baby shower in a pandemic? Is it still okay to send out cute invites for a virtual one??

like

How many days after a missed period do you take a pregnancy test? I’m so irregular that I’ve missed 2-3 periods in a row earlier this year without taking one (and wasn’t pregnant).

How much do you budget for a kid each year? Not including daycare or medical. My husband and I are trying to estimate future cost and are not sure how much to plan for each kid per year. Guesstimate?

like

Doctor spouse wants to a start her own practice. I want to work hard and become MD in consulting. Have 1 kid currently. I feel helping wife start her practice will mean my career will have to take a backseat. Thoughts/suggestions ?

like

Help & suggestions please. I don’t have parents and recently had a kid. I am having trouble in recovery and my daughter is a preemie. I am going back to work in December but can’t send kid to daycare due to health. My aunt who raised me wants to visit and help me out , see places too. With the travel ban going away , can she get a visitor visa so that I have someone reliable in the house along with the new nanny. Are visitor visas possible to get now ? MIL is another option but she is aged.

like

My one month old baby has been extremely fast and has reflux, due to which she is not able to sleep lying straight in her crib. She just wants to sleep clinging to my chest in upright position. Any suggestions on how to make baby sleep well, and get some sleep for myself as well?

like

No shame in this brag moment: My baby brother is going going to be an SEC football player!!

like

For the parent 🐟s

Post Photo
like

Alright moms. 4th kid in daycare and this one just won’t nap. We send a portable white noise machine and she has a lovey. But she apparently has serious FOMO. I’ve asked them to move her to the furthest corner. Then moved her to the younger baby room. But I’m out of ideas. 11 months old (10 mo adjusted). I had chalked it up to just starting at daycare but we are almost 2 months in. She’s a hot mess in the evenings. What magic do you have for me. All of my others fell in a routine by now!

like

Moms.. anyone have a mother’s helper with you at home during after school hours for a few hours so you can work while they watch your kids and help with housework? What’s the going rate (DMV area)?

like

How normal is it to be pulled off a trial team because you tell your boss you are moving after trial? I have a trial coming up first week of Oct. This case has been my baby, and I’m going to try it with my boss. I tell my boss up front that, for family reasons, I’ve gotten a new job and will be moving to another city two weeks after trial will likely end. He then gives my trial witnesses to another attorney, but is still going to make me do grunt work. Is he unreasonable or am I?

like

What are your views on becoming a mom? Did you ever think about having kids?

like

What is the maternity policy in Big4? In EY we need to work for at least an year and we get 16 weeks paid parental leave+ 2 weeks short term disability leave.

like

Additional Posts

Fellow lady 🐠: doing a ton of work on a severely understaffed team at a relatively entry level position, how have you negotiated a raise in salary, or why didn't/haven't you?

like

Things to do before resigning? Like, gym membership reimbursement?

like

Does anyone know anything about Alpha FMC. Curious to hear the culture, projects, and opportunities?

like

Any advice for someone looking to transition into a full HR Generalist role from Recruiting. I’m currently a Campus Recruiter with about 5 years of HR experience (Coordinator- Higher Ed). I received my PHR certification in September 2020 and sitting for my SHRM-CP in two weeks. I’m having a hard time transitioning into a full Generalist position.

like

Considering a move to KPMG for their pension plan. Can anyone give me details for their plan? Also any other advice regarding KPMG.

like

KPMG folks. I see the mobile expense reimbursement is $65 with an equipment. Is there a breakout between wireless service and equipment or it’s looked at in total? If I’m on a family plan and pay $20, can I get a phone that costs $45 so as to maximize the $65 reimbursement? Thoughts appreciated

like

Can you go to United club if youre United gold

like

How many PTO days does the average company give out? 20 days seems pretty normal to me but I’ve interviewed with companies who give out 13-15 PTO days which seems very low.

like

Philosophical question (not trying to be political, just a genuine question I’ve been grappling with): do you think being pro-choice and pro-vax mandate are logically inconsistent? Both are sincere views of mine, but upon further reflection I haven’t been able to think of a way one position could be completely defended without undermining the other. Goes the other way for pro life/against vax mandates as well. The fact is, they just feel different to me, but I’m not sure why. Thoughts?

likesmarthelpful

Working as an audit staff in big 4 shared service centre. It's been 2 years. I really don't like what I do there, also it seems I won't like what I'll be doing there even after becoming senior. Thinking of leaving and joining industry once ACCA qualified. (One more paper left). But people around me discourage that growth potential and earnings in industry are way less compared to public accounting. I know that too but I still want to leave. I'd like to stick to core accounting. Thoughts pls

like

Would you guys take a 40% pay cut to work 2.5 days a week? Would drop my base salary to $90k. With bonus, I would be making around $110k...

like

Let’s say one of us gets laid off. Does it benefit our search in relation to opportunities through LinkedIn contacts if we don’t update our employment status? Does it hurt? Does it matter?

like

We are looking to hire some great Sales experts on our team. Great WLB, remote and competitive pay. Please DM me if you are interested.

like
likefunny

Anyone ever switch from a tier 2 consulting firm directly into MBB? Can that be done?

like

On Monday, we'll have like an hour to go into our classrooms to get anything we need to start making lessons for distance learning. what do i need?

like

If you leave T2 to join MBB, would it be seen negatively by your old firm (if you ever need the alum network) or am I overthinking this

like

FSO TTT salary range for Senior 1 or Mgr 1 HCOL.

like

Does anyone know if India has visa on arrival for American passport holders? Friend’s father passed away and he does not have a visa currently. Wondering if he has no options till the consulate opens. Thanks in advance!

like

Do any other firms offer pension like EY does? And what are the terms? I know EY recently changed the retirement plan but we are still fully vested after 5 years

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal