{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just need to vent: my friend refuses to bring up the topic of covid and how it will likely effect her wedding. She’s just moving forward like we aren’t in a pandemic and it’s becoming exhausting trying to be supportive and excited for her when it feels like she’s living in a fantasy world. She just had us purchase bridesmaids dresses and I can’t help but feel like it was a complete waste of a few hundred dollars. I feel bad for having these thoughts but I’m over it.", "post_id": "5ff7ba314c19760024c355e0", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Just need to vent: my friend refuses to bring up the topic of covid and how it will likely effect her wedding. She’s just moving forward like we aren’t in a pandemic and it’s becoming exhausting trying to be supportive and excited for her when it feels like she’s living in a fantasy world. She just had us purchase bridesmaids dresses and I can’t help but feel like it was a complete waste of a few hundred dollars. I feel bad for having these thoughts but I’m over it.

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OP, I am WITH you. My friend asked me to be her officiant at an indoor wedding in February. FEBRUARY! I finally worked up the nerve (with the help of another friend) to call her on Monday night and let her know that I was not ok with officiating an indoors wedding esp with the new variant spreading around. What bugged me and some of our other friends was her total radio silence on any kind of distancing precautions for the wedding. I pointed out to her that even a msg on their website saying "we know this is a thing, we'll let you know what the procedures are" is more helpful than the total absence of it.

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In both her and my defense, when we were talking about this back in May/June, we didn't think Feb was going to be, well, Feb. Which I totally own up to on my part of being delusional and short sighted. You pretty much are going to have to force the conversation and be the sacrificial lamb (sry) if no one else in the wedding party is going to speak up. My friend had her bachelorette weekend in a beach town over Halloween that's too far for me to drive to reasonably and I wasn't ok with flying. I told her as much when they were first planning the bachelorette and she was ok then w/me not attending, but I did zoom in for one evening.

When and where is her wedding? What is the venue? They may have rules that you can help her become aware of.

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The wedding isn’t until the very end of May (surrounding DC area) but I just don’t see us being vaccinated by then or feeling like it’s safe to have a group of people together. It’s obviously their choice but it’s selfish to not acknowledge the health of others and at least start the conversation. And it’s not just the wedding- it’s everything that leads up to it too. Hard to think about dresses, hair, bridal shower, etc when we’ve been in a pandemic for almost a year.

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Ugh same. And the bachelorette is at the end of feb in Vegas. Like there’s no way we will be vaccinated and everyone will be drinking so not wearing a mask. Trying to figure out how to gently say no to the bachelorette and tbd about the wedding.

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Oh man. I’m sorry OP. I postponed my wedding from September 2020 to April 2021 before ultimately cancelling it altogether and just getting married in an intimate ceremony in our home. It’s hard to think about the fun parts of a wedding when you have COVID to think of. Like how much fun are you going to have at a wedding in a PPE visor? Also your friend may have to deal in reality due to venue guidelines and state laws about how many folks can gather, etc. Tough situation OP and I feel for you. Has her partner acknowledged anything that you’re aware of? Maybe her partner can help.

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Just a perspective, your stress level about someone else’s wedding shouldn’t be higher than their stress level about their own wedding. Not to imply they’re right in their lackadaisical attitude about the wedding, but I’d just disentangle. It’s not worth your mental energy.

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Totally understand how you feel, OP - I actually attended a wedding in September, but the ONLY way I was comfortable was after several long convos with the groom about how they were preparing and what changes/precautions/modifications they were making to their previous plans. If the bride if your case won’t even discuss it, I wouldn’t trust that any precautions are being built in and wouldn’t feel safe attending.

Do you guys think a wedding in October of next year is too soon?

OP how large is the wedding? This might be the time to be that friend and just bring it up. I understand trying to preserve a friendship and being supportive but you and your health are your main priority. I get the hype behind weddings but absolutely dont understand pressing it during covid. Scale it back or JOP it.

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