Just promo’d to Mgr, have a 1-year old, wife is pregnant with #2. Making $150k. Have a strong desire to be home, but I’m on a great trajectory and know sacrifices need to be made to succeed. (Cont.)

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It's a tough decision to make OP, option 3 is the dream but it means sacrificing watching your kids grow up and being there with them in their formative years. Money comes and goes but memories are for a lifetime

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Don’t mortgage a decade of your kids’ life for ANYTHING, especially an uncertain outcome. Either figure out boundaries that work or make a change. Also, Partners are more busy... not less

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If you don’t figure out now how to create space in life for your family it will not magically happen because you make MD/partner. This job will take everything you give it (or let it take) and that does not stop as a partner.

So figure out now how you build family time into you weekly routine. Agree on that this with your wife so she knows what to expect. Tell your team so they can help you stick to it. And if your team/firm can’t or won’t support this look for a new one

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I'm your wife in this story, except I'm probably one year from making Principal, which I think is the SM equivalent at your firm. There's no easy answer but a principal I talked to reminded me that I can have it all, I just can't have it all at the same time. What matters to you the most right now? 5 yrs from now? 10 yrs from now? Start with answering those questions for yourself and then work backwards to define your career plan.
For me, the answer (I think, still working it out) is that I can and probably want to make partner, but I don't really care how quickly I get promoted. If it means slowing down my career path so that I can take as much mat leave as I want, and still see my babies in their toddler years, which I think I'll enjoy much more than their teenage years, then that is something I am totally fine with.

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No guarantee of option 3. Live primarily with the here and now in mind while planning for the future. Find that balance. May mean downshifting on your career. My senior manager had to watch his kids kindergarten graduation on facetime. Seemed pretty sad to me

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Life gets easier when kids are older. Slow down, and you can (eventually) have it all. Life is not a race but a slow steady journey. Your wife needs you around when the kids are small- it’s hard having babies/ toddlers. If not for the kids, slow it down for her!

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A couple of things ...
1- Remember you are doing this for yourself, the $ helps the family, but IMHO anything north of 500k for the household is not needed.
2- Remember DEL will not think 2ice about letting you go in bad times.. hopefully your family will
3- As a manager cultivate relationships that are local, even if it is harder. This will payoff in the long run

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Those choices are crap - You can work 40 hours a week. You can find occasional local projects. You can be there for your kids at minimum 3 days a week. And still get promoted. You. Can. Do it.
If you or your staff are working more than 40 hours a week - you failed at resource planning.
The choice between striving to be promoted and permanently damaging your kids childhood is unfathomable and frankly, no partner would expect(or respect) that. If it helps, fit your family requirements into your work calendar under a client code name and execute accordingly.

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I know this desire is an emotional reaction to my son and my growing family. But, also realizing that I have 4 years before making senior manager and making time is only going to get harder. Note: I am not being pressured by my wife to change, this is my own DNA taking over.

1. Do I pivot and try to find something else? Because another environment could enable me to generate the same income, and have the same challenges.

2. Do I make the decision to shut up, put my head down, and begin this next
Journey to SM? Because I have already learned so much already, training to become SM will push my boundaries and set me up even better?

3. Go all the way to MD/Partner. Be in my early 40s making great money, could go anywhere, and my kids will be 11 and 9 respectively. Could have a terrific quality of life, spend time with my kids when it really matters, and I could take care of my family basically forever.

Thank you all! Really appreciate the insight.

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