{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just returned from my combined family vacation with my SO. I initially thought it would be a great idea to being our parents along to show them a new country and give back for everything they’ve given us in life. Fast forward I’m more exhausted than before the vacation. My mother has been toxic all the way and didn’t miss out on a single opportunity to criticize my relationship. My in-laws were either talking all the time about random stuff or fighting between each other. Continuing…", "post_id": "61a6748fb59f2d0026dc9b8e", "reply_count": 16, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

Just returned from my combined family vacation with my SO. I initially thought it would be a great idea to being our parents along to show them a new country and give back for everything they’ve given us in life. Fast forward I’m more exhausted than before the vacation. My mother has been toxic all the way and didn’t miss out on a single opportunity to criticize my relationship. My in-laws were either talking all the time about random stuff or fighting between each other. Continuing…

likeuplifting
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The entire vacation has been filled with tension for me while I’ve invested several days over couple of weeks into organizing the entire trip. No one had to do anything besides bringing their passports and themselves. I feel abused in a sense that a group of adult persons let themselves completely go not caring about anything or anyone. Obviously, I will never do such a vacation again.

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Live and you learn.

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Yep, family vacations are exhausting. The one and only time we did that was for our destination wedding and we purposely took off an extra week after sending family off to have a real vacation.

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This sounds horrible! I’m sos sorry! I hope you and your SO get to vacay with each other and draw a boundary with your parents bc wheeeeew that’s a lot. How are you decompressing? Do you have a therapist? Do you have any time for some real R&R

likehelpful

Although I haven’t been in therapy ever (because I never felt the need for it) I thought about addressing this entirely situation with a counselor and my close friends. I am usually a private person but this has been too painful and I am fairly unsure how to approach the people who have drained me so much in the future.

Lesson learned. Our parents are growing older, and the guardrails on their habits and emotions are going to keep slipping. I know that you put a lot of time and work into this, but don't resent them or blame them. In the future, vacation time should be just for you and your SO. Hopefully, eventually you will be able to look back on this time and laugh.

likehelpful

How does your SO feel about all this?

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He understands me and tried his best to comfort me throughout the trip and manage his part of the family. As opposed to me, he’s been growing up in a household where fighting was normal. So probably he learned better fend off the tension and move on.

Sad to hear that OP! Is this behavior representative of how they all act even not on a joint trip? Or do you think the environment exacerbated it

helpful

I think it was a more extreme version of themselves. I’m really disappointed and was fairly surprised to see all this behavior coming out. Not to mention that I’m mostly disappointed in my own mother who overstepped her boundaries many times. Cannot wait for all the gossip to start behind my back.

Road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

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Did you try telling them to shut the f up and get with the program? I’m asking seriously cause they may not realize how you feel.

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