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Consulting

Just turned 30! Husband wants a kid.... I am nervous 🤒🤒🤒🤒

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Hopefully you all talked about this before you got married. You should clearly understand the want for children before walking down the aisle. With that said, If you do want kids, have them. Your career may slow but it won't stop if you don't want it to. You can still climb and be successful. You can find hell or nannies as well to assist. I have seen too many females specifically put children off for career or relationships off for career and regret it when older because they either can't have kids or the risk is too high etc... I am all for women and career, my wife is a career woman with children as well. I think it is great so do not be afraid of kids because of career. YOU CAN DO IT. There may be challenges but it can be done. If you don't want kids, that is a different story. Good luck!

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Great advice, D7. Thanks! For the people who struggled with fertility issues, first of all, I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Secondly, are there any books or things that you would recommend for someone hoping to conceive in about two years? I just want my body and mind to be in tip-top shape. OP- it is def scary, but def worth talking about openly and honestly. I've been married for one year and three months and even though I love my husband, I can tell that we are ready for a dog and soon, hopefully, a kid. In time, it will prob start to feel right and less scary, assuming that you want kids in the first place. Thanks everyone for your advice and support.

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Do you? Don't have kids unless you want to. It's a responsibility I take very seriously.

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I'm 26 and unmarried - this is giving me anxiety!

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Just remember back door no babies

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Do it for the vine

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We had a child just after my wife turned 35, and it adds a whole lot of complications. Pregnancies above 35 r categorized high risk automatically, plus chances of Down's syndrome etc increase dramatically. Also we tried for 9-10 months and it was pretty frustrating. We were too focused on our careers too. Kinda regretted not having child earlier. Another side - during my mba, met this girl who had a baby a month before joining and had left the child in California with family. My point - You have time, but don't let this decision only be about career vs child.

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Do you want to give up or sacrafice your career? My wifes killing it - it's her call because I wouldn't be willing to give up my career and in this job, gone 130-170 nights a year, one of us would likely need to.

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I had a child at 28 and have had a great career since. I haven't taken any assignments abroad but I've traveled and done better than a lot of colleagues without children or with them. Yes your body changes but that's true of getting older too. I'm still the same size I was before. Once you have produced a human life some things are put in perspective and you focus on getting it done for your family.

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How horrible is this? The reason we are putting it off for 2-3 year is so that we can pay down our students loans. We feel like it is just not responsible to bring a child into this world before we have a better financial footing. I hope that 33 is an ok time to try and conceive

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I had my children at 26 -30. 3 children in 5 years. A bit behind on the work front.. But they are in an easier stage now and I am able to focus more - that said- wouldn't be able to do it without a nanny. Make sure if you want to continue your career you have the financial means to get a nanny. Practical advice.

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I was you back when I was 27, finally bit the bullet and pulled the goalie at 29. I'm now almost 32 and still no kids; we've struggled with getting pregnant and have had two miscarriages. Just remember even if you plan perfectly that '33 is going to be the year' things may not go according to plan.

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Have a kid, we have 2, they are amazing

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30 is a good time to plan your timeline IF you both want kids. I know it's intimidating to think about impact on your body, but that's the least of it. You need to be prepared to truly enjoy/embrace motherhood and not waste emotion on what you left behind. Don't wait too long - I know a number of ppl who waited til upper 30s to have kids and they had a lot of fertility issues.

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What freaks me out is that of the people I went to college with are already on their second child.

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It's ok to be nervous, it means your thinking it through. I am in the same boat and Doug all the research and trying to get super healthy. It's a big change and if your someone like me who isn't going to give up anything I want to be in the financial position to pay for help.

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I'm 30, was in a similar boat but struggled to get pregnant. I'm glad I felt like I had enough of an age buffer to get fertility treatments, before I fell in the high risk age category. You have to do what feels right, but I learnt the hard way that your body's not always going to do what you want it to do.

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I had mine at the perfect time. Now I'm a partner and have a teen. I did want more children...if it happens, it happens...but in 5 years the kiddo goes to college and I'll still have nearly 2 decades to kill it before retirement. You want to see happy people? Look at empty nesters who put their marriage first and get that 2nd wind for life after juniors leave the nest. Well, allegedly. They are parents of Millenials so more like grandchildren will be living at home too 😂

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I'm 32, have a 8 month old at home. Deloitte Chicago has been pretty accommodating in my experience. The office is trying to make local/alt arrangements to retain top talent that become parents. Seek out SM moms, they'll plug you in.

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If you don't want kids don't have them. Nervousness is normal, it's life changing, but amazing. No one needs to get married nor have kids. Do what's right for you or you and your family.

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Haha thanks for the solidarity E2. Yeah, I'm sure it is magical, but the thought of putting my body through that...

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