{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Ladies, could you please share stories of someone not believing in you at work? And then working through this.\nThe manager at my current project basically told me that he doesn't think I can make it to manager grade, lack people skills and am unwilling to improve (in his eyes). But at the same time he wouldn't even let me talk to the client, or present anything, is very sharp with me at pointing out things he doesn't like. \nThe worst thing is that I stopped believing in myself too. Feel hopeless", "post_id": "5f79ef29941230002abf37ac", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Ladies, could you please share stories of someone not believing in you at work? And then working through this.
The manager at my current project basically told me that he doesn't think I can make it to manager grade, lack people skills and am unwilling to improve (in his eyes). But at the same time he wouldn't even let me talk to the client, or present anything, is very sharp with me at pointing out things he doesn't like.
The worst thing is that I stopped believing in myself too. Feel hopeless

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I was basically in the same situation, looked for a new job, found one, got a giant pay bump, and am valued and appreciated by my new team. I know what it feels like to believe that you’re not good enough and it sucks, my advice is get out. Someone who would make you feel like that is never going to be the right place to work.

likesmart

My best advice would be to find someone other than that manager who believes in you, is willing to give you feedback and wants to help you improve. It can be a formal mentor, someone who’s managed you on other projects, or a senior member of your current team who isn’t your manager. I don’t think it’s worth it to try to change this one person’s mind, and focusing your time/energy on trying to do so is wasted effort. Focus on you, your professional goals, areas where you want to improve, and find ways to make that happen. Roll with the punches your current manager is throwing, take what you can from their feedback that is actionable/productive, but don’t take their impression of you to heart.

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Story wise, I had one partner who had absolutely zero faith in me. She actually pulled me from a project I was assigned to, assigned me to a project she thought I was going to fail miserably to teach me a lesson, and told me so in explaining my change in assignment. I was devastated and was convinced I was going to be fired.

My manager on that project was the best mentor I’d ever had. We talked through the situation, and set up a professional development touchpoint every other week where he would provide actionable feedback and suggestions on ways I could improve my technical effectiveness, my ability to manage the client, my ability to manage up, etc. I ended up getting promoted within 6 months, and the partner who assigned me to the project even admitted she was impressed with my progress.

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I interacted with someone last year who I was convinced projected low performance onto me. He was openly disrespectful and refused to ‘hear’ me when I spoke. You can’t change the minds of people like that. I would actively build distance from this person (who is toxic), keep any interaction with them short and positive. Seek out others who see your potential and will help you grow. Turns out the person who was negative every time we spoke had a reputation of being awful to dozens of people. I had been convinced I was ‘the problem’ and underperforming, but I wasn’t in the slightest. The guy was just a jerk.

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Prove him wrong build a short term and long term strategy. Think of a “what can I” approach to make it work with this manager. Sometimes there are people who form an opinion and don’t change their mind despite what you do. Do not let one person define you.talk with your colleagues and other team members and I am sure they will share all your strengths

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