{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Ladies had anyone ever felt pressurized to have team dinners or being dropped to hotel from client office every day by male team members? Every time my female colleague and I say no they keep insistin", "post_id": "5cba17b0c81e22001d0e50d0", "reply_count": 7, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Ladies had anyone ever felt pressurized to have team dinners or being dropped to hotel from client office every day by male team members? Every time my female colleague and I say no they keep insistin

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They may be trying to be inclusive so it doesn’t seem like they have a boys-only club going? You don’t have to go but let them know nicely it’s a matter of personal preference, since it wouldn’t be great if the opposite happens and they never invite women to dinner either. I don’t love team dinners but try to compromise based on team preferences... if everyone’s very social I will go something like once a week just so it’s not weird but if people don’t press for it I’m happy to have like 1 event for the whole project.

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I will offer this advice ... a consistent “no” to join the team in a social setting will likely harm your professional growth. You can damn me all you want. I have seen it. Lived it. And now agree with it. I recommend making an effort to join. Not every time. Go for dinner and excuse yourself early if you need to. It’s not necessary to have an all night outing. You may see this small effort pay off for you in the long run

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Agreed. I’m willing to do dinner but I always say know to the after dinner drinks at the bar. Quite honestly I will never understand how those people function the next day

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I hate that and it’s happened to me before. I keep saying no until they get the point. They don’t seem to realize that it’s not the highlight of my life to have dinner with them...

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I usually decline and don’t offer an explanation. “Thanks/nice of you to offer. I’ve made arrangements to get back to the hotel. See you tomorrow/have fun!"

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I’m way more direct and ask why would I want to eat dinner with a bunch of men. Usually that shuts them up and I go about my business.

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Totally get your POV and have done this before but I wonder if that hurts us in the long run

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