Related Posts
Tech startup or big tech company? And why?
She's got what I like to call "murder eyes"
Additional Posts in Black Girl Magic ✨💫
Did anyone watch Candice Owen’s 18 minute rant?
Did we already talk about the Insecure finale?
No caption is necessary
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Rising Star
Adjust expectations or just relax it. We can give all the tips, but we aren't looking at your face with your hair. Nothing we say can change your level of satisfaction.
I'm 4c, been natural a decade. I mostly just wear it. I'm not overly concerned with tangles, or fairy knot. I don't expect my hair to do anything new. I adjusted expectations years ago.
I think this is critically important. Really feeling comfortable in your own skin is a pivotal part of self love. Adjusting expectations to what “done” means vs overdone or done to death or done to assimilate to whiteness means. I hope OP isn’t feeling pressured though so I think that’s why we are trying to offer alternatives.
Lastly I’ll say this about relaxers. A coroner once told a black female officer that “what y’all do to your hair causes those black spongy spots” on the skull when the officer asked about blunt force trauma to the head. At first she was offended and then as he explained that it was hair relaxer that caused the damage. Relaxers aren’t just damaging to our hair; they cause fibroids, earlier periods in young girls, just a lot of unnecessary issues.
I have natural 4c hair and often think about getting a relaxer, then I remember that maintaining it was still a hassle when it was relaxed. I wear braids 100% of the time now. No more styling my hair every morning then worrying about humidity or wind ruining it before the day is through.
I'm thinking I might as well move on to locs. 🤷🏾♀️
Vp1 it really depends on the size of your locs. I have Sisterlocs and I get them retightened once every 8-10 weeks now (I’ve had them for 8 months now). On a day to day basis I spray water do a side part and go (occasionally spraying some oil of I feel like it) but yeah they are so worth it.
My hair is natural but I probably have an unpopular opinion. If your hair is causing you to be at your wits end, just relax it and move on.
I rarely ever wear protective styles. I have type 4 natural hair and I primarily wear wash and gos and twist outs. I have found that doing a simple routine with simple styles works best for my hair. I currently wash with a moisturizing or clarifying shampoo, condition, and then style with eco styler gel or the Mane Choice twisting gel. I do that 2x a week because I like my hair to look fresh.
Sounds like you’ve exhausted all your options, so relaxers could be your best bet.
Could also consider doing silk presses more often, micro links or braids but with bigger parts to protect your edges.
A looser curl pattern from using heat is fine with me. If your hair becomes permanently straight from heat then that damage is not worth it.
I said a lil, not a whole lot.
This is why I loc’d my hair lol
Yeah I love my Sisterlocs so much. Best hair decision I ever made in my life💃🏽
Less is more for me, I braid it in five braids at night and wear a braid out. Wash once a week, trim every 8 weeks, straighten twice a year. If the right person does your braids you’ll keep your edges. No shade but I can’t let the African Braiders braid my thoughts. So basically spring into summer is for braid outs and wash and goes, summer is for braids, 2 months, early fall is for braid outs again and then winter is for sew ins to give my hair a rest. Relaxers damage my hair so it’s not a good choice for me. I may straighten once in the fall and once in the spring.
I have natural hair and i rotate styles (braids, crochet, sew-in, natural) to give myself a breaks if i get tired of the maintenance. My hair sustained a lot of damage from relaxers and it really just didnt work for me, but if its the best solution for you and you can maintain healthy hair with it, do what works. Otherwise think about a rotation of protective styles
OP I couldn’t help but think back to this thread 🤣🤣🤣
https://twitter.com/winedownwithkim/status/1528767125988380672?s=21&t=KFAQDjJub_mwWvYJMJIHZA
Literally!!! I'm doing whatever makes me happy ATP. Won't be held hostage to hair that grows back and can be bought if it doesn't.
My hairdresser gave me a plant based agave treatment which is less harsh than a relaxer, and loosens your curl pattern without the chemicals so it's not damaged. My hair has been alot easier to maintain since I got it done. I pin curl it at night for body, and finger comb and go in the morning.
Do what works for you. Natural hair comes in many textures, some more easier to style than others depending on what you’re trying to get it to do. We have enough in life to stress about, if your hair isn’t manageable for you, find a style that is, whether that be relaxing it or a pixie cut, and focus on keeping it healthy.
I was natural for seven years...the one night, an hour into styling my hair in a twists out I KNEW wouldn't be dry in the morning, I made an appointment for a relaxer and pixie cut. Best decision ever. To be fair, I'm "natural" again because I've been wearing knotless braids through the pandemmi and now that I'm back in the gym, it's just the easier option until I'm secure in my routine, but I let go of holding on to my natural hair as a lifestyle and do what's easiest. I'll be back to my favorite pixie by the end of summer---it's dries and sets fast , it's easy to style and I always look well tailored with it.
Knotless Braids do not cause breakage when done properly. No tension, no pulling on edges. Rotate between knotless braid, loc extensions and wigs.
Try Pinterest for natural style ideas. I did a big chop dec 2020 now I have a twa. I treat my hair like Tina did blue ivy’s lol. Most days I just let it be. I’ll wear a feminine headband or if I have a few minutes I’ll gel up the sides and wear a fro hawk
As often as possible I shout about how returning to relaxers was the best thing I’ve ever done.
My go to style is twists/braids just along my front and side edges, and a puff in the back. Knotless braids have been the best thing for my edges, but honestly if you don’t want to deal with it relax it, if you don’t like it then it’s hair you can always change it.
I have microlocs that started with braids, it’s a game changer.
I have a tapered cut and only ever wear a wash m go. My current regimen is all Pattern products…shampoo, conditioner, and leave-in. Then I style with the styling cream, heavy gel & a Denman to define my curls.
My opinion is it’s just hair. Do whatever is easiest for you.
I manage by doin different versions of a slick back ponytail (baby hairs or not, side part or middle), or doin a pineapple ponytail.
Rising Star
This post is very relatable! Wearing my hair natural is so much work.
I am this post! I relax my hair and I wear sew ins but has been breaking my hair. Going to try wigs but not excited about it. My natural hair is thin, dry and uneven. I hate my hair and no I don’t think it’s systematic racism- it’s literally annoying af!
I feel the same. I like my hair but I hate that it’s so tough. After all these posts I THINK I’m going to try a v part wig. Hopefully it will be a change and I can wear my broad around the house and throw on a wig for work and going out.