{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Ladies, how would you have responded? I was hanging out with a friend and her boyfriend when he suddenly goes “Now that all companies practice gender equality what is the need for women specific conventions like Grace Hopper. What if there were male specific conventions/conferences like that? How would that make you feel? “ I was very drunk and not proud of how I responded. I basically told him off and recounted all the instances where I have been at a disadvantage because of my gender.", "post_id": "5f496eb4cbea660022c29143", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Ladies, how would you have responded? I was hanging out with a friend and her boyfriend when he suddenly goes “Now that all companies practice gender equality what is the need for women specific conventions like Grace Hopper. What if there were male specific conventions/conferences like that? How would that make you feel? “ I was very drunk and not proud of how I responded. I basically told him off and recounted all the instances where I have been at a disadvantage because of my gender.

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Sober, fully feeling centered and in a good headspace me would have gone with a sardonic "You mean a golf club?" and changed the subject rather than engaging. Drunk, fed up with all the crap I deal with me would have told him he's a fxxking idiot who needs to recognize that companies talking about gender equality is not the same thing as practicing it and if he had half a brain to look at the makeup of most corporate leadership he'd be able to tell that and to get his head out of his a** You did fine, you're allowed to be frustrated when people are thoughtless and inconsiderate.

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While companies are making a bigger and more public effort to practice gender equality in the workplace, the job isn’t done yet. We need to continue to encourage young girls and women to pursue these routes that have historically not been an option to them. We also need to show societal support for women taking on different roles. I think one way to encourage and support is by continuing to have initiatives like Grace Hopper and other women in STEM programs.

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I want to come up with some better responses in case I have to hang out with them again.

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I've responded, "there's a men's group--it's the senior leadership team" when asked why we have a women's network but not a men's.

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I would say that women are still underrepresented and underpaid in many companies and industries - especially tech. I would also say that there is value in an all-female learning environment which can be a place where woman feel valued and safe to express ideas even though the may not have had the same advantages and access to the same education as men previously. And I misread your post to mean grace hopper academy (the all female code bootcamp) but I would say the same about conferences. They are a place for women to gather and support each other in areas that are of particular interest and use to them. And I would go back to the first point that women are not treated equally to men. Also there are schools (aka boarding schools) that are all male and all female and no one bugs out about them.

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Exactly. How he probably feels every day at work is a feeling that we only get in these certain instances. I feel more comfortable, valued, and relaxed when I am in any environment where I’m not the only woman/one of few women in a room full of men. However I’ve never been in even a 50/50 women/men setting in the workplace, unless it’s at a women’s event/space. These spaces are so important to work towards equality and give us somewhere to feel 100% ourselves.

I think that’s a fairly valid response, drunk or not. Sure, companies “practice” diverse hiring but the wage gap still exists and we can hardly consider the boardroom 50/50. In my opinion, him dismissing female centric leadership conferences is dismissing women in general and that doesn’t even begin to account for intersectionality. The problem is not solved and we have not reached a level playing field. I think I would have mad raged a few pints in on that particular topic 😅

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Ohh trust me, I did. I like his girlfriend or else I would have asked him to shove his opinions where the sun doesn’t shine.

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I use the RBG quote. She was asked when there will be enough women on the Supreme Court, she replied “when there are 9.” The subtly is powerful - there is an instant, visceral reaction of “BUT THAT IS UNEQUAL” & that is an excellent mirror to reflect back the history of this country.

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This literally happened to me! My colleague even said” you do realize you work for a bunch of male right?”

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What industry does he work in? Here's an exercise I like to do with people - obviously depends on the industry but if you're in a male dominated industry I'd expect it to fall out a certain way Ask them about their manager, male or female? Their manager? Their managers manager? Etc. All the way up to CEO - how many females in that chain of command? Half? In my own chain its male pretty much all the way to the top.

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He works in finance, it’s a literal boys club. He is pretty fuc**** blind to even suggest that gender equality has been achieved in the workplace. That’s why I got so mad because how can someone be so oblivious of their surroundings.

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Tbh I don’t know what you could have done better. A lot of men are oblivious that gender discrimination still exists and the only way to change their minds is to explicitly share what you’ve experienced and call them out on their bs. Essentially showing them that the entire world is still very much a white male-oriented convention (let’s have a convention of F500 CEO’s or world leaders...what does that look like?). 🤷🏻‍♀️

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If "accepting more" was the end of the journey, why did BLM matter, then? I mean, since we already accept them, right? WRONG! As long as you feel that a minority "should be happy with what they have done so far" then there is clearly an issue

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