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Ladies, I am having a tough time seeing future with my bf. He is really caring and would do anything for me but on the other hand is just difficult to talk to when problems arise - (contd)

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Like we are not able to get on the same page about our issues. I am more on the sensitive end and he is pretty straightforward (sometimes more than necessary). We get along on all other fronts but our fights are a nightmare to go through. Looking for inputs honestly coz sometimes I don’t know if it’s worth staying in it or not :(

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It feels to me like the actual “issues” you fight about are not really what matters but the different communication and conflict resolution styles. I’ve had (still do, sometimes) this problem with my boo. You two may want to look into books / talks about nonviolent communications and learn about how to communicate your feelings without hurting / irritating each other and how to truly be empathetic. What I felt I needed, when the fights were really bad, was a path to solve conflicts peacefully regardless of what they are. Also had a lot of therapies...

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Have you talked about this?

Hi there - I would love to do some relationship counseling for you. DM me and let's connect.

Move on if you can't imagine spending the rest of your life battling this issue.

In the “would do anything for you” category needs to fall compromising to help end fights, learning how you need to be communicated with (vs being super straight forward) etc Marriage is all about putting the other first so it doesn’t work if he puts you first only some of the time

You’ve got to have a heart to heart, very direct convo about these fights. Are they about silly things? Are they about big life things that will cause issues down the line? Tell him you don’t want to fight anymore and want to find a common ground. How can you both actively try to communicate about issues in a healthy way that doesn’t always end up in a fight? What things does he do that bother you during these fights? What do you do that upsets him? If he isn’t interested in working this out, it probably isn’t worth it to stay

What are these issues that are causing the fights? When you say “can do anything for me”, shouldn’t it also include the fact that he will try to come to a middle ground on issues instead of shutting down? Tough times are the best judge of a relationship. Those who truly care for each other will put in effort to find a way out of such situations or find a common ground even if that means compromising at some level ( for both the people involved).

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