{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Ladies, I need advice. I’m mid-20s and feeling painfully lost. For most of my younger years, my identity was rooted heavily in my friendships and social life. Graduating college and then obviously the pandemic took a toll on that, I moved home and many of my friends left the city I had lived in pre-covid. Flash forward to the world reopening, I don’t like my job, my friends live all over, I have a nonexistent love life, and I don’t know what to do next", "post_id": "60e27a201e02b4002f53a324", "reply_count": 6, "vote_count": 14, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Ladies, I need advice. I’m mid-20s and feeling painfully lost. For most of my younger years, my identity was rooted heavily in my friendships and social life. Graduating college and then obviously the pandemic took a toll on that, I moved home and many of my friends left the city I had lived in pre-covid. Flash forward to the world reopening, I don’t like my job, my friends live all over, I have a nonexistent love life, and I don’t know what to do next

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I don’t have advice, but wanted to let you know I’m in the exact same position and it feels awful. You’re not alone in this - I hope as things keep going back to normal things get better because I feel deep sadness in a way I’ve never felt before for the same reasons you listed :(

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Thank you for making me feel less alone

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I’ve been in a very similar position for a bit. I used to think that just “focusing on myself” e.g., working out and journaling and having a routine would help. Those things are good but to paraphrase Angela Duckworth from the book “Grit,” passions and interests are formed not from introspection but rather from exposure to external circumstances. My two cents is to put yourself out there! Join the dating apps and go on x dates per week or month. Do group workout classes or dance classes or other interest classes if you’re comfortable with it. Hit up acquaintances from your undergrad alumni network and start to work your way into new friendships—worse case they’re weird about it and you weren’t really friends to begin with so who cares! If you know what kind of work you would want to do, then be shameless about hitting folks up on linkedin/through your college alumni database. A referral can make a huge difference in getting the job you want. Or maybe you just need a break—it’s a great time to consider applying to grad school for the following year. Just a stream of thoughts but hang in there! It will get better and things will work themselves out

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You sound like you are at an inflection point! I’ve been there too. I went through a big break up when I was 26 and I felt lost too. In someways, that was such an exciting time for me though because I felt very unmoored, which gave me the freedom to try new things. It felt like starting over and I just said yes to everything! I took dance classes, I took amazing trips with girlfriends, I bought things just for me! For travel… I didn’t even know the girls that well, but they sort of said I should join their trip in passing and I took them up on the offer! I also invested in my friendships. One good thing is that the pandemic is that a lot of people have fallen out of touch. So that might make it easier to reach out to people you want to reconnect with as well. Good luck! I hope in a year or two you look back and think of this as the beginning of an exciting time in your life. ❤️

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I am in this exact situation! You are definitely not alone. In addition to the other helpful suggestions already posted, I recently visited a couple of friends who left for other cities and it really helped boost my mood because it gave me something to look forward to. I am also working on moving out of my parents house and found someone to room with, which has also given me something to look forward to. I am now involved in my college alumni board and have made some new friends that way. There are definitely times where I feel so sad but I hope things will look up soon as things are starting to get back to normal.

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Get past 27, it will get better then. In the meantime enjoy this time of your life with activities, travel, go visit your friends that have scattered, join meet up groups. If still depressed,see a therapist, and if meds are recommended, take them.

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