Ladies , I need help thinking through this. A friend for 13 years and I have been drifting apart buy one recent incident makes me want to just cut her off for good. She had her third baby recently and I sent her a to. Of presents from amazon with gift receipts , notes etc . It’s been a month , not even a thanks but she’s been posting pics on Facebook. I have two kids too . Last year before COVID she called me out of the blue and wanted to stay over at my house with her mom and two kids ..+

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You don’t have to do anything. My HS friend is a doctor with a bunch of kids, we chat every 6 months or so, We don’t exchange gifts or even Christmas cards. Once in a while we get together (we live across country) and when we do we fall right back into our old selves and have a great time. Admittedly we reach out to each other when one of us needs something. I’ll always be there for her when that happens and vice versa. My guess is your friend is grateful for the gifts, she just is preoccupied. Give her a call and ask what she thought of them, she might gush with thank yous and apologies for not calling sooner. If not then just let it go. It’s also possible that she is prioritizing family now

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Just let this one-sided friendship go. Sounds like it costs you more emotional energy (and $$) than you need to expend. I had a friend like this too and everything was fine until she needed something that I couldn’t/wasn’t willing to give. Surprise, surprise…we’re now merely acquaintances.

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I meant to write thank you cards to friends for my 30th bday, and then a few days later my mom was diagnosed with invasive cancer (that she had us keep a secret for almost 6 months). Needless to say some of those thank you cards were half written but never sent out. (I think I’m a pretty great/thoughtful friend otherwise tho I don’t have kids yet) All this to say don’t base it off the cards but the trend of multiple events. And like others have said, you don’t need to completely end the friendship, just classify her as more of an distant friend/acquaintance and mirror her efforts yourself so you’re not feeling taken advantage of all the time. Easier said, then done but ive been trying to consciously do this with a few ppl lately to protect both my heart and feelings

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..+ for two nights which I absolutely welcomed her to despite the fact that I have two kids under five . I have done a lot for her over the years but I have been getting a feeling she just calls me when she needs me. No response to congratulatory text either . Anyway , I’ve only seen her 3-4 times since we both became mothers but I’m just not sure she wants me in her life much anymore except when I have resources that she needs . What should I do ?

I would just let the relationship fade - from what you've said, it sounds like you're right that she only contacts you when she needs something, which is the very definition of a one sided relationship and will always leave you feeling frustrated. It's ok to let this go. You are not a bad person for prioritizing other relationships that bring you more happiness.

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Has she had her shower yet? We’re planning to do all thank yous after that

Baby is born , it’s the third one so no shower . It’s been a month :-|

Totally agree with D2, I got two gifts in the last 6 months with no notes so I gave no idea who they are from, and feel bad about it. One person asked me if I receive x thing, and I was so happy to be able to thank him properly. Please ask her how she liked the stuff you sent, don’t cut her out for this reason. Hope there’s nothing more to it!

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