Ladies, I need… perspective. Last night, my husband essentially asked me to “get fit” for him and to do “beauty and maintenance things” with him in mind and not only for me. For reference, im 5’3 145-150 lbs (size 4-6?) and admittedly, I have gained the pandemic 20 since this started like 1.5 years ago. It hurt to have this man essentially say, you need to look better for me. Am I wrong here? Do I just not see that he’s right and I should be doing these things for him?

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

He better have rock hard abs and run 15 miles a week if he has this attitude

likeupliftingsmart

Nah, my husband is super fit and runs/bikes a ton but if he ever said this kind of thing to me it would NOT be okay

like

Could you provide additional context? What exactly did he say and how did he go about it? You say he “essentially asked” which makes me feel like he didn’t flat out just say “I think you got fat, you need to get fit for me.”

My SO and I frequently check in on each other about our health. I carry most of mine on my stomach, which is not healthy. Last year around March I got to around 145-150, which was the heaviest I had ever been (I’m 5’2 for reference). Doctors had started telling me I was overweight when I hit 138 a few years back, so this was really more weight than I should carry. I started to feel sluggish. I started to complain about my appearance to my SO, and my sex drive was at an all time low because I felt so gross inside my own body. Finally, I did the math and if I was steadily gaining 2-3 pounds a year then in a few years I really would be pretty overweight. I didn’t want that creep to keep going. I finally made some changes and dropped 15 pounds and felt so much better.

When I was heavier my SO didn’t tell me I needed to lose weight, but every time I complained about it he did suggest that we would start eating healthier and that he’d work out with me if that would help me get motivated. He also was honest with me when I asked if I looked heavier and he said that it did look like I had put on a few pounds, but mostly that he saw it was effecting me in other ways.

Idk without more context it feels like everyone is just attacking your SO for the sake of attacking someone. If my SO had gained some weight and I saw it made him unhappy then I’d step in, say something, and help him get to a more comfortable size too. I also grew up with parents who constantly criticized my weight when I was younger, but I see they were coming from a good spot. It’s a lot easier to get it under control and be a healthy weight when you’re maybe only a few pounds over and a few small lifestyle changes could fix then, than let the weight creep up to a point where it’s difficult to manage and you’re really unhappy.

At the end of the day, if you’re happy with your weight and appearance, that’s what matters. But consider whether maybe you’ve been giving off a vibe that you’re not?

likehelpfuluplifting

I am very concerned bc I’ve seen this level of narcissism I. Past relationships and awhile after that I began to see psychologically and emotionally abusive behavior as well. I understand if maybe your partner feels he is starting to feel less attractive because of the weight but at the end of the day, he should love and be attracted to the wonderful woman you are, not what you look like. And if he wants you to put more effort into your appearance, I understand, but a list of demands is a no-no. For beauty stuff, he can gift you beauty experiences or surprise you. For health abs fitness, he could say honey let’s eat better together - I’m going to come up with a regimen for us. For exercise, he could say babe let’s power walk for an hour after dinner so we can be healthy and sexy for each other. I’m over relationship where I have to be so obligated that I don’t have time or energy or effort to do the things I NEED and WANT to do for me. And I will never remain in a relationship where I’m not loved for who I am whether skinny or fat. I had a similar issue with added weight, abs my fiancé loved my fat (he called it “every curve”) more than I did - I didn’t get it because I though I looked obese but I realize that’s true love.

like
Recent IconRecent

I’m a lesbian so take this for what you will but no that is in no way okay. The only thing men have is the f**kin’ audicity 🙄🙄🙄 your husband saying that is gross.

likefunny

My weight has spanned from a size 4 (when we met) to a size 10 (currently) and literally everywhere between over the past 10 years of being with my SO and he has never once disparaged my weight or told me I need to get in shape “for him.” I’m not happy with myself when I’m heavier (solely because I feel better when in my ideal weight range), but he consistently tells me I’m beautiful and he’s attracted to me at any size.

like

Are you a decoration or a person? You should be mindful of your health for your sake of course, I’m not saying stop taking care of yourself. But your husband can bite himself.

like

1) Anyone saying a size 4-6 need to lose weight is insane, that is smaller than average, even at your height. 2) Anyone who would say that to you is incredibly cruel and doesn’t love you or care about you. Period. He cares about how you make him look, at best, and about controlling you, at worst. Your health is not in danger, and based in your height/size, you’re probably quite thin, so there’s really no justification for this kind of statement. Leave him, I guarantee this is just the beginning of what will be a lifetime of abusive and terrible behavior.

likehelpful

Weight and height alone aren’t good indicators to be honest. I’m 5’3 and currently 145 lbs and I need to lose some weight (4/6) Definitely have excessive body fat, which just isn’t healthy (or attractive, honestly). I’ve also been at the same scale weight (and even higher) and looked infinitely better because my weight came from muscle mass rather than fat, so I was several sizes smaller (0/2/4) and looked much leaner despite actually weighing more. OP could fall into either category.

That said — there are tactful ways to tell a partner you’re worried about weight gain or unhealthy lifestyles, and OP’s husband’s method ain’t it. My partner gets on health and fitness kicks and can get pushy about it occasionally. He’s gotten better about being gentle but it never fails to offend me, no matter how tactful or legitimate his comments might be. It’s helpful to self evaluate at that point. Is your body carrying more weight than healthy? If it is, can you make time to take steps to address it (for yourself!)?

likesmart

Maybe you should try the Divorce Diet. It nearly always works.

likefunnyhelpful

Easiest way to drop 200 pounds.

likefunny

I just sincerely want to thank all of you ladies for the range of perspectives. I haven’t been able to think of much else today, and I do think this merits a continued conversation to see if that can explain or heal some of the hurt. I do just want to note though, that I don’t suscribe to the idea that size in any way shape or form informs whether someone is healthy or not. Size here matters because I was a different size but in many ways I’m a much healthier human being today than some of my past years when I was smaller. Can my habits improve? Always. It’s the idea that someone that loves me or is supposed to love me for me thinks less than strangers (ie compliments or advances from strange men). I value though all of the different responses to this. It’s given me a lot to think about. Can I talk or even look his way yet, though? Nope.

like

When your spouse says something that is hurtful and you are not able to talk, consider leaving a note on the dresser. Writing communicates the substantive issue as well as reveals the hurt generated. Also allows you to phrase carefully and respond promptly so that hurt isn’t allowed to fester. Worked for my parents!

I am surprised at the number of comments trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt/excusing/explaining away this behavior. Your body is yours and does not belong to him, so he has no right to tell you to change it for him.

like

I was going to give your husband the benefit of the doubt that he poorly phrased his concern for your health, but then I saw your comment about the list he made, and doing “beauty/maintenance for husband” or something like that. That’s absolutely disgusting, and goes WAY beyond him just looking out for your health. This pandemic has been incredibly stressful, and weight gain in a situation like this is normal! I’m shocked that more women aren’t appalled by this. I would bet money that he doesn’t think HE needs to fix his beauty/maintenance to please YOU. None of us on here are relationship experts, but to me this is a huge red flag that, at a minimum, needs to be addressed in therapy. And if he keeps thinking of you as a centerpiece and not as a human being who (like all of us) spent over a year living through the stress of a global pandemic, walk out that door and don’t look back.

like

I get compliments all the time too A6! Which is why getting this from the one person whose opinion I actually care about is so disheartening. Thank you ladies for being so supportive. Not sure yet what to do. Haven’t looked his way all day today because I simply cannot bring myself to.

like

Dump him. This person is toxic and is not looking out for you. He's just looking out for himself. If you are healthy and feel good about yourself, that's what matters. Not what some man child thinks about your body and about how you should look for his enjoyment.

like

Talk coming today. Thank you for making me feel so supported ♥️✨ we’ll see how this goes.

likehelpful

Did he survive?

like

I think it’s worth having a follow up conversation with him about this. Tell him how you feel—hurt, offended, etc. and see what he does. Also, I’m personally very curious about how fit and healthy he is. If he’s far from perfect, maybe this should be gently pointed out. On the other hand, if he’s super in shape and a bit of a health nut, that might be a big part of his life that he wants you to share with him (whether you actually want to is 100% your decision and him pushing isn’t going to help anyone).

like

Your anger is justified and valid! Please don’t apologize for your feelings (especially to him). Do something nice for yourself, maybe meditate if that’s your thing and come back to this when emotions have cooled a bit. It’s possible he meant only good things (really giving him the benefit of the doubt here) and just delivered it in a very stupid and callous way that only men seem to do. He eventually needs to know how much he’s hurt and angered you so that he can explain himself and try to rectify the situation. What he does after he knows how you feel is everything.

likeuplifting

I should have clarified that point. Im not unhealthy. Sure, I could eat better and clean up my diet I won’t deny that, but I’m not unhealthy. In fact, before covid when I didn’t have a chance to breathe at work I would often miss meals - not on purpose. I was just busy and stressed. Today, I regularly get in my breakfast, lunch, dinner. But I have gained some weight. I don’t know. I’m just hurt but maybe I should be realistic?? So confused

likefunny

Can I be completely honest here? If my partner said to me I needed to lose weight, keep him in mind when doing things when taking care of myself etc I’d be absolutely p***** off. Different if I was unhealthy and the way my diet was etc could impact my health. I am sorry you got that from a person who’s meant to love unconditionally. I am also sorry to say I wouldn’t stand for it and would tell him to jog on. I wouldn’t change who I am and what to do for the benefit of someone who doesn’t appreciate me for who I am or who I have become. In the middle of a pandemic I have put weight on, I have not showered everyday and/or brushed my teeth every morning as soon as I wake up. I have not put a bra on for approx 1 year and that’s okay. I think it is unreasonable how men expect us to be perfect and on top of things 24/7 and no one tells them to do anything. I’d say you deserve way better and sorry for maybe being too harsh!

likehelpful

I went from a size 10 to a 6 in the pandemic and this makes me feel like it’ll never be enough 😔

I hate diet culture. As long as we’re healthy why can’t we just live our lives.

like

Diet culture is so toxic and it ruins the lives and steals the joy of so many women! And the worst part is that diet don’t work a vast majority of the time! You are enough whether you are a size 24 or a size 0. At your funeral, no one is going to eulogize you for being fat or skinny. Focus on what’s going to make a lasting impact in the world. Hugs to you!

uplifting

Anyone a family law attorney? Sounds like OP needs a divorce…

But in all seriousness, you deserve so much better!

like

This is a tough one - I actually essentially asked my husband to do the same thing, but more for health reasons. He gained over 20 pounds during covid. I convinced him to see a doctor for his annual checkup which he hasn’t done for 10 years - his cholesterol is through the roof and it was quite a reality check for him. We’re expecting a child and I explained how much it would mean to me if he got healthy so he could stick around for our son. He’s on a diet now to bring his cholesterol/BP in check.

likehelpful

You asked your husband to do something any adult, especially a future parent, should do anyway. It’s irresponsible for your husband to not see a doctor for a decade. (Assuming that the reason he skipped the appointments is not because of money/insurance issues) His appointment could have led to treatment for many medical issues that have nothing to do with weight.

OP’s husband pretty explicitly told her to lose weight to look better for him. That’s not the same at all.

like

Why are men…y’know, like this.

(Says me, who has a date with a man tonight 😂.)

like

I went up to a size 12 during COVID (I’m 5’2” and used to be a size 4, but went up to a 6 in law school and an 8 my first year of practicing). And my fiancé doesn’t say shit about it unless I’m complaining about it, at which point he offers to do some exercise with me. And he exercises a lot himself (he runs and does some basic strength training), so it’s not hypocritical.

Honestly, it sounds like your husband is transposing his self-criticism onto you.

likehelpful

He made a list? Throw the whole man away. You're a queen, and don't forget it.

like

Hi ladies! I know it’s been a long time, but it took us a couple of days to talk it through. I am relieved to say he did not mean what I thought he meant. He apologized profusely for the way he attempted to communicate certain issues, and for making it seem like I was an object he was trying to change. He clarified that what he meant to say was a want to get back to our healthier lifestyle together. Before covid we regularly cooked and exercised together and said he missed not only the time spent but how we felt generally. This I admit I miss too. He said he loved my body the way it is, but wants to create habits we can eventually do with our kids (whenever that happens). I can understand that. (But i still dragged him for his poor, to say the least, choice of words and communication “style.” 😒). What we still don’t see eye to eye on, and I still cannot
understand is the “beauty & maintenance” part of it. This talk has been long mostly for this reason. He says he doesn’t want me to change anything of what I do, and he’s happy that I do all those things (facials, extensions, lashes, waxes, nails, etc — I really really love all these things. They are my “me time things.”) but — here’s what I don’t get and have pushed back on — he wants to feel like I do those things for him too??? He’s tried to explain but I don’t get it. I straight out told him I didn’t want to do anything, relating to my body, for him. And I don’t. But we are married… should I do things for him? I’m confused. I then asked him what he did for me (re: his body and health) and he couldn’t name anything BUT Important background: he cooks, cleans, takes our dog out, trash, recycling, the backyard… on a regular basis. His only issue are dishes lol. He very much makes this house run, most of the time, without me because of the hours i work. But isn’t that just… normal married life/partnership? He does all those things and i do the same (to a lesser degree, but i do). This is our house, so, that’s just bare minimum what we should together anyway? He is a great partner. But I don’t want to feel like I do anything (image wise/self care) FOR him. I told him this and i could tell he was disappointed. Is that… bad? Unmarriage-like? Why does he need to feel like I (for example) get my facials done for his pleasure when it’s very much for mine. I know there are going to be a varied amount of opinions and I’m here for it.

likefunny

I’m tend to agree with FP1. You went from a teaching salary, which suggests that somewhere along the way you went to and finished law school (congratulations). What has he done with his career during this same time? While making the house run is part of partnership, etc. and he may love doing it, unless he’s a neat freak, on some level he’s doing it for you so you can do your thing. And, even though your thing is paying for the lifestyle to which you all have become accustomed, that’s not always keeping him warm at night. He may be feeling unseen, unappreciated, and insecure. Undoubtedly your practicing law not only changed your station in life, it has and is changing you. You love you and he seems to be asking you to show him you love him too- like a little boy. It’s not healthy. You’re right to be sad. He has to find love and regard for himself. He can’t get his worth from you.

Related Posts

Has the covid19 made you think more about your bucket list and all that you want to accomplish and experience, the daily job grind notwithstanding? I feel like while I am at a standstill, my mind is racing with all that I need to decide and do.

like

What is a useful, comprehensive but not too long of a book for parenting toddlers?

LO is 16 months old, very sweet and social, at the park every day with other kids with either me or her nanny. Not in day care. Yesterday we had a play date and she slapped another baby on the head. Not hard and did not scare her, but the act of “aggression” took me by surprise and I felt terrible about it. I’d like to be more proactive about toddler psychology, what’s to come and how to react/ teach. TY!

like

Ok so. I have been on this journey for almost a year now to try and 'get to know and love myself' and I'm not there yet. I separated from my ex in March of 2020 and divorce was finalized in October 2020. I'm still sad, lost, angry etc. I'm trying/tried therapy, meditation, ayurveda, self help videos, books, but I'm not happy with myself and I don't think I know myself. I want to be happy alone before I meet anyone new. Any tips or advice on how I can effectively accomplish this? Thank you!

like

Hi everyone!
I was looking to enter the healthcare consulting sector, but have almost no one to guide me towards the same. I am pursuing a Biosciences and Bioengineering degree. Any advices? Thanks!

like

Hi,

Where to invest to reduce the taxable income of 8 lakhs after investing 1.5 lakhs under 80c and HRA 1 lakhs ? Medical insurance 50 k I’m aware of it and I don not plan on any house loan. Please suggest.

like

If your Home Healthcare Agency gets sold to a venture capital group, run, don’t walk away. Especially if you’re a manager.

likehelpful
like

Hi fishes, I need advice. So I own a medium-sized business here in Ohio. The COVID-19 pandemic severely hit us and its economic impact shed light on just how financially fragile the company currently is. How did your company adjust to the economic disruptions? In what ways are you preparing your company to survive and thrive through the next economic downturn?

like

What is a good base salary and total compensation package minimum for a Senior Clinical Program Manager position in PA? Bachelor's degree, 5+ years of Healthcare experience, 3+ years of outreach activities and quality initiatives, insurance plan experience, 3 years experience managing a pcp office. Would be first role at this level.

Wife told me the other day, after a 70 hour week, that it's easier to think of herself as a single parent. That way she's less angry at my job or firm. I hate that she feels that way. 3 yrs & 4 mths.

Went through three cycles of IVF last cycle we got pregnant, just found out we lost the baby.. trying to be strong for my wife but she is somehow handling it better then me externally at least , can't

like

Seeking new position in Admissions/Business development in Behavioral Health/SUD. Either remote or SoCal.

likehelpful

When completing your company's voluntary personal information section, do you self- identify as having a disability? Are there risks or benefits in doing so?

like

I have done my Masters in Zoology and having 3YOE in US Healthcare (Medical Coding) . Can Anyone refer me ?

Can anyone tell me what the salary range is for Monitor Deloitte senior consultants in the UAE? Also I have a SC offer from PwC healthcare (not strategy &) and currently also interviewing with Monitor so according to you all which of the two is better across WLB, growth, culture, quality? Thanks!

like

Any good underwear brand? Looking for something sustainable and cotton (heard it’s good for health)

like

Does anyone know the criteria used to determine who is selected to be laid off due to COVID?

like

Hello - is anyone that is selling consumer goods dealing with high shipping costs? I mean it’s ridiculous! I understand rates are up due to Q4 and COVID, but are there any tips out there..?
I’m Currently using Shipstation with a fair mix of USPS and UPS. Thanks

Recommend a child psychologist in LA?

One of my coworkers started complaining that I didn't wear a mask on a Zoom call, because I might "infect the people coming into my house". That so-called person is my house cleaner, and we're both triple vaccinated and are fine not wearing masks. Should I tell my coworker to mind their own business?

likefunny

More Posts

Im going to join FIS Global on 25th as a Java dev. I have 3.9 years total exp, current company is TCS. what it will be like to join Fis and any risks? Could anyone give a brief about the culture and what it will be like in the first 1 year?. What I can find difficult as coming from a service based company?

like

What is lowest acceptable salary for being promoted to executive digital producer in NYC?

What is the general consensus on online I/O psychology programs? I’m looking to pivot into HC consulting and am strongly considering USC’s online MAPP or Harvard Extension School’s I/O Psychology graduate program.

like

Hi everyone! I am in a weird situation right now that I haven’t been in before and could really use some advice especially from women who might have faced or seen something similar. Long story short, I was brought into my current firm and promised that the work I want to do is within the team/solution they recruited me for and aligned me with in the system. However, once I started working on the project, it became very clear that I’m in the wrong team and on the wrong project (continued below)

like

When did you realize you had an alcohol problem? Did a therapist, doctor help you recognize this issue? I think I have a problem but my therapist doesn’t seem to agree. My grandfather and father have alcohol issues and my sister is on AA. I seem to have this urge especially when I am under stress….

like

Has anybody had any experience with Deloittes M&A integration consulting? The title is specifically Senior Consultant - Integration. What are the hours like. As an auditor, would my skills transfer? Is the work more predictable than M&A FDD? Thanks for any help out there.

like

I just got approved for my second CC and it has a limit of $18,000. The credit card is with Navy Federal and it’s the cash rewards card that yields 1.75% cash back on all purchases. Can anyone give any tips or ideas as to what I can do with this? I was thinking to purchase an existing business that is already generating income. Thoughts?

like

I just wanted to pop in a wish a Happy Operating Room Nurse Day to all of your amazingly hard-working Nurses out there!

likeuplifting

Hi, do sopra currently offering 8lpa said before joining they will make it as 9 to 9.5 yoe:2.5. Do they really make it? What about allowance in sopra steria, do they have any afternoon or night shift allowance?

like

It’ll be okay.

Post Photo
likefunny

Need job in Pune / Bangalore for role SRE. Total experience 8 years.

like

Anyone interview with Lending Tree ? Want some insight into the interview process.

like

What's demand gen and marketing in a start up like?

like

I’m a first time home buyer and trying to figure out how to get started. Any good resources you all have come across or tips in general? Specific question in comment below

like

Is it a good idea to tell your manager intentions of leaving?

Recently had my review and it didn’t go how I expected. No raise, no promotion. I expressed disappointment but took the criticism I was given to reach my goal in 6 months or a year.

However, there are a number of issues that bother me enough where I want to move on.

The team I am on is small and I know that when I leave, they’ll have a lot on their hands. I only have a couple of interviews scheduled and nothing is solid yet.

like

Very quiet group....
Took this pic a few weeks ago. Hope you like it!

Post Photo
like

Is Tom Cruise gay?

like

I have joined on Aug 2nd week in Nagarro as a staff engineer, so far I got 4 proposals from TAP and all are Failed

I am feeling very bad and going down further with each TAP proposal

I have been approached by my lod company to join back, they're offering bit less than Nagarro but still I want to go back for wlb

I felt TAP process is very abusive

They want me to join with in 15 days,

So if I resign now, will they gimme immediate release? Or should I consider absconding?

Please help

like

Hello fishes.. any openings in JP Morgan Hyderabad in the analytics space?

like

Additional Posts in Women in Law

Where else can I search for legal jobs aside from LinkedIn or USA jobs??

like

I have a female partner I work with as trial support. She rarely tells me good job and mostly makes one off snarky comments. Today, she emailed me something and told me to do “extra checks” for pincites, grammar, etc. I put all of my documents through grammarly and brief catch on top of an additional edit. I just went back and reviewed the document and I frankly don’t see where she got any of these comments. I missed a single pincite in a string cite. I don’t have this issue with any other (cont

like

I hung out this weekend with a work friend of mine. We’re both junior, but I’ve been on FMLA due to an unexpected illness so have been away for a bit. I know that I screwed up on some files before I was diagnosed which I feel awful about and have been trying to rectify (unpaid), but she spent a lot of time cataloguing the ways in which I messed up. It was supposed to be a nice weekend for once and I’m feeling more beat down than ever 😕 just not sure how to get the motivation/nerve to go back!

like

Me: writes email to OC. OC replies... not to me but my male boss. This happens every time. I think I’ve made it clear that I’m handling the case. Any suggestions

like

How would you feel about being proposed to on your birthday? Special surprise or overshadowing your day?

likefunny

Anyone else deal with others passing judgment because of your age? I’m 30, married, and carry myself in a professional manner but still deal with random comments related to my age. Today I was complimented for my “maturity” for how I responded to a problem and it was shared that a partner or two also commented on my maturity. It rubbed me the wrong way and although these comments are less frequent now than when I first started my career, I still hear them and it’s bothersome.

like

If anyone here is in Maryland or has the Maryland bar and would like to consider a new opportunity, I'm working with a 50 attorney firm started by refugees from biglaw. They are looking for a real estate transactional attorney, an estate planning attorney, a tax attorney, and a corporate attorney. Feel free to reach out if you would like to hear about it.

like

Someone please tell me where in tf I need to drop my Hinge location in the DMV area to find my person. I’m in Baltimore and am getting frustrated/losing hope after only finding guys whose time would’ve been better spent focusing on themselves to be emotionally available and ready to date rather than dating as a distraction. I’m convinced I’m going to die alone. And if you have a single guy friend in that area who is a genuinely good person, please let me know 😂

likefunny

I’m currently a junior associate in a boutique litigation firm handling IP. I’ve taken a depo already, will argue in court next month and by all accounts, I am great at it. But I’m miserable. I find the games with opposing counsel exhausting and I despise writing briefs (even if I’m good at it). My pre-law school job was in public relations and I chose litigation because I like to win, but I’m now realizing I like success more than the win-lose. Feeling lost… should I move to transactional?

like

So I posted a bit ago about getting IV hydration and vitamins. You guys gave me the courage to try it. After I had it done, I didn't feel much of a difference and figured I just spent a bunch of $ to relax for an hour in a massage chair. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But this has been the best week I've had energy-wise in the last seven months. And I kind of wish I could post before/after pics because apparently I was very bloated. I've been focusing on keeping up with my hydration at home. Thx ladies!

likehelpful

Advice needed! I started at an ID firm only a few months ago after a long stint doing in-house litigation. I was referred to the firm by a very good friend who also still works there. A management position at my old in-house firm has now been offered to me. Higher salary obviously and no billables. I am seriously dreading talking to my new boss and telling my friend that I want to go back in-house. Has anyone dealt with something similar? I just feel so bad and don’t want to burn bridges

like

Took my first vacation (1 week) in over a year to visit family. Was bombarded by emails from one partner asking me to complete non-time sensitive motions, which he hasn’t even bothered to review. This is my third firm in three years (first I left as I was severely underpaid, second I left for a 100k increase in salary), but this lack of respect for my boundaries has made me want to move again once I’ve completed 18 mos. Bad? They don’t do this to the other associates (all male).

like

Anyone else obsess over your next career move? I’m a senior associate in a niche BigLaw group in DC. I am just now hitting my stride and can really see a path to partnership. I handle my own matters relatively independently, am generating some business, and will inherit a large book of business in my favorite space in the next year or so. The problem is that this isn’t what I want, or at least what I think I want. (Continued in comments).

like

Thoughts on daycare vs. nanny starting at 4 months old?

like

Does anybody find it helps to “get ready” in the mornings with wfh? I still want to be comfortable with athleisure, but I’m wondering if fixing my hair and maybe a little makeup will make a difference mentally. Feeling so burnt out and unmotivated lately.

like

How honest is too honest in an exit interview? I am leaving because of problems with one partner in particular but I do not want to burn a bridge in case I ever need the firm in the future.

like

Those of you with the Beis work tote (not the mini), do you think it’s too big of a bag for day to day carrying during a month long trial? I’m looking for something that can carry my laptop and a decent amount of supplies (notepads, personal care items, etc.) and have heard good things, but the work tote looks massive in the product photos online!

like

Anyone have a MIL who is clearly intimidated by your prof success and consistently criticized how much you work and how you’re raising your little one?

likehelpful

Question for a crowd with good negotiation skills...my sibling is marrying someone of a different faith. My mom is freaking out and doesn’t want to go to the wedding. How can I resolve this?

Favorite go-to brands for summer blouses. Prefer button ups or simple blouses. Brand recs for the sweaty chic chick??

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal