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I’ve heard this tip for parents and I think it applies to this situation as well - explore/get comfortable with having sex at other times, like in the morning or as an afternoon “break.” This has helped me and my partner since a lot of time at night we are too busy thinking about the current/next days work. Also less pressure for sex in general. Embrace other ways of connecting like just making out or touching each other without the pressure/expectation of it leading to sex. Finally try to block off one time a week that’s just for you two, whether it be a morning coffee date or Saturday night dinner. People should understand being out of pocket for a few hours and as long as you communicate it and that’s you’ll get back to the work later you should be able to enjoy each others company relatively uninterrupted for at least that one time.
Enthusiast
My husband and I are both lawyers, I’m in big law and while he’s not, he has demanding hours too. We make sure to make the weekends more exciting since we’re both pretty wiped out on weekdays.
I like to surprise my man with fun lingerie especially if he is getting off a daytime or second shift (i.e. 2pm-12AM) and wouldnt expect me to be up and ready for him. Its fun for both of us. We also try to single out a night or weekend thats just for us to spend time together- even though its really hard with our schedules at least 1 night a month for date night minimum.
Agreed on the do something spicy at odd hours. Sometimes when it’s been a while because we’re both so busy, we wake each other up at like 1 or 2 in the morning and do it then. Weekend getaways once a month is also great. Planning it is also effective so long as you honor the planned schedule
For me: (1)sending spicy texts while I’m still working to express what I wish I was doing (2) taking midday breaks for sex to relieve stress (3) making exciting weekend plans to talk about during the week (4) staying in touch with pleasing myself too. I think #4 is important because sometimes when I’m not feeling myself I lose interest in sex and forget how great and valuable it is! Also, explore what you fantasize about and ask for that :)
We try to do a weekend getaway once a month. It’s a fun time to be alone and go on real dates.