Ladies, I’ve never been knowledgeable about diamonds but am getting to that point in my relationship. Asking for your opinions on carat size and anything else that is helpful on an engagement ring. Thank you!

Edit: what would be an appropriate size/color/clarity? I have absolutely no clue on color and clarity

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Get something you love and don’t let what other people think (“that’s too much to spend!” or “that’s too cheap!”) influence you. Spend what you and your fiancé are comfortable spending and screw everyone else.

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Yes! This — my friend got a tanzanite because that’s what she wanted. I got a vintage ring with less than a carat and gorgeous gold work because that’s what I wanted. Another friend had a setting made for a diamond from a family ring. All of these are much cheaper than what a professional can afford, but what matters is we all love the rings. Think about what you love and get that, even if it’s not three carats and $15k

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Consider lab created diamonds (e.g. from vrai).

My round solitaire is 1.58 carats and I love the size. Cut will affect how large a diamond appears and how sparkly it is. Your finger size will also affect how large a stone looks.

I also love looking at victor barbone for a wider variety of vintage options.

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Not a diamond, but my friend got moissanite and LOVES it. It looks just as good but less costly and less stress for day to day wear.

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Get what you want and love. I’ve been married for years, and outside of the immediate engagement/marriage period, no one will comment on or ask to see your ring unless they are extremely rude. You’re the one who has to wear it every day and look at it.

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Remember that the color and clarity of a diamond is also important. Don’t just go for carats without making sure it’s a quality ring. Definitely go try on rings. A cut that you think looks pretty in pics may look weird on your hand. You can also get a sense for what carat weight works best for you.

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I'd totally get moissanite as I lose everything. I have a lot of jewelry and finally lost a pair of moissanite earrings. I also bought a 20k pair of earrings from Tiffany's. Then I saw the same pair for like $1,500 on Facebook ads. I only buy real now if the design is unique. I have a diamond encrusted thin band from Tiffany's that I love. Everything else will be moissanite for me from now on. At some point things just don't really matter to me. Rather spend on hotels and experiences.

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1. Get what you love and don’t worry about ct size. You’re the one who has to look at it e
very day, and you want to swoon over it when you see it. My husband asked if I wanted a bigger stone recently, but I can’t imagine not seeing mine on my finger!

2. Your eye can’t tell the difference between a .9 and a 1.1 ct ring, but the 1.1 will cost significantly more. Keep that in mind once you’ve decided the general size you want.

3. Quality and cut make a huge difference in terms of sparkle. Go try some on to see in person.

4. I wish I would have known moissanite existed when I got engaged. A good, quality moissanite is BEAUTIFUL and nobody would ever notice the difference. I actually prefer the sparkly of a moissanite now that I know what it is.

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Titanium band - you’ve avoided blood diamonds and the patriarchy at the same time.

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I personally would not get a moissanite—they don’t hold as much value and side by side with a diamond you can tell the difference because of how sparkly they are. They usually emit a more rainbow sparkle than diamonds. But that only matters if you care that people know it’s moissanite. They’re more affordable if you want to get a larger stone.

I have a natural diamond that’s about 2.75 carats in a pear shape. I wanted no halo because IMO it takes away from the center stone, and to me a more plain ring is more timeless. I love my ring but I think if I knew how much it cost I would have told my husband to do a lab grown diamond (still great quality and less expensive). But some people are concerned that as lab grown diamonds become more popular they’ll decrease in value. I don’t know how much that really matters though. Work with a reputable jeweler to see where you can compromise—maybe you notice color more and prefer higher clarity and no color, but a smaller stone. Maybe you want something larger and don’t mind compromising a bit on color or clarity.

With that said, go see the options for yourself! Pick what works best for you and your SO. Either way you’re wearing it and are the only person that has to love it! Excited for you 🙂

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If you dont mind me asking how much was the 2.75 carat ring? Thank you!

I recently got engaged and after extensive research (professional hazard) we decided on lab diamonds. We are a same-sex couple and would therefore be spending 2x the cost for diamond engagement rings. I think it made more logical sense - they are chemically the exact same make up as mined diamonds, as shiny and beautiful, but you can probably get a bigger stone and one of better cut/colour/clarity for a fraction of the cost. Save yourself the cash up front and use it on something better (deposit for house, investment, savings for example). Some people will tell you it’s a bad investment, but I think this is true of most diamonds - you will always see a depreciation in value unless your diamond is out of this world kind of rare (which most stones aren’t) so the decrease in value in a mined diamond is actually on par or even more when compared to the decrease in a lab diamond when considering the initial cost vs. resale value (this is even more true for branded stones from Tiffany’s or the like). In any event, I never understood people getting engagement rings based on investment - this is supposed to be a romantic gesture, I have no intention of selling my ring ever.

Sorry, total tangent, but just do your research, know what you’re buying, and look at different options. Colour and clarity will depend on the type of stone you want - for example, this will matter more for an emerald cut diamond - you can literally see any and every flaw; whereas in an oval or brilliant cut, you can probably downgrade on clarity as these types of diamonds hide imperfections much better. As others have said, carat weight will depend on personal preference and hand size, but some diamonds will spread larger than their carat weight (ovals for example, will look much bigger on the finger due to its shape than something of a similar carat weight). Carat weight can be a bit deceiving because it is not representative of size - diamonds with the same carat weight can be different dimensions, and this will largely depend on how well cut the diamond is. Cut is the most important IMO as this will make an otherwise seemingly perfect diamond look dull. This can be tricky as only round brilliant diamonds have a cut grading - so do your homework and work with a reputable jeweller!

At the end of the day, do what’s right for you and your partner - talk about it together (if this is an option) as others have said, IMO all money will be both your money and large purchases are financial decisions that should be made together. Best of luck and congratulations!!! 💕

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You should understand that diamonds are not rare, and the cache associated with them, along with the costs, are a product of marketing and suppression of supply and competition. With that said, do your research, set your budget and try a bunch on, but at the end of the day you will simply find something that looks absolutely stunning on YOU. And that will be the ultimate test.

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I don't have a diamond (purple sapphire, which I LOVE), but do have some advice I can share):
1. Mine is 2 carats with a diamond halo. It's about as big as I would want, frankly. I'm kind of a klutz so I'm forever banging it into and snagging it on things. It can take it, but my heart catches in my throat every time.
2. Absolutely go try things on! You may have in idea of what you want, and you may change your mind when you start seeing things on your hand.
3. Think a bit about what you are looking for: e.g. statement diamond, good value, investment piece, heirloom to pass on one day, a pretty sparkly thing for you to enjoy. That may drive some of your choices. You may also consider something other than a natural diamond, depending on the above.
4. Definitely talk budget with the purchaser. All the money will soon be both your money, and a large purchase like this is a financial decision you should make together.

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Lab created diamonds are better for the environment and are cheaper - Brilliant Earth makes beautiful ones. They also sell earth created and you receive all the information to assure it’s not a blood diamond. Also, a portion of the funds they bring in goes back to the communities in Africa who have historically been harmed by the diamond trade. Either way do not skimp on the clarity, cut, or color. If you get the best of those, the size of the diamond will never matter. So many people skimp on those in the name of getting a bigger diamond, but the things that make a ring most beautiful are the other three.

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Hey! In addition to what everyone else said, depending on what shape you want, it’s important to look at the ratio of the ring. For example, I have a radiant cut diamond and I was advised to look for a certain ratio to ensure the cut will look nice and the dimensions will be proper on my hand

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Agree with everything that has been said above re: lab created diamonds, particularly if you are interested in getting something a little larger that would be a stretch or cost prohibitive in a natural diamond.

Also bear in mind that while color and clarity are very important, there is a point on each scale where differences are no longer detectable by the human eye and would only be visible under a microscope, so if you are primarily concerned with how your diamond looks (rather than, say, appraisal/resale value), it’s not worth it to pay more for a flawless or D color stone when a VS2/ F color will probably look just as beautiful to you.

For reference I have a beautiful 2 carat lab created solitaire that cost approximately half as much as a natural diamond with the same specifications would have. I absolutely love it and receive constant compliments on it!

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Agree with the person above me. Most of the biglaw female partners I know do not have giant diamonds for an engagement ring. Do whatever works for you and rock it.

I don't always wear mine, it depends what mood I'm in. And sometimes I'll wear another ring in place of my engagement ring/ wedding band.

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Definitely consider a lab grown diamond! We were planning to get my ring from Brilliant Earth, but then went to Jareds to try some on. Jareds has a fantastic lab grown collection and I was able to get literally a perfect diamond for cheaper than Brilliant Earth (and bigger than what we were looking at on Brilliant Earth). I also didn't know anything about color/clarity/whatever the other c's are. The jeweler we worked with was knowledgeable and walked us through everything - another perk of going to a store in person.

And I agree with the comments above - go try on rings and make sure you're getting something YOU love. I thought I knew what I wanted in my head, but really glad I went to try some on first before confirming with my partner.

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LAB DIAMOND LAB DIAMOND LAB DIAMOND. You get twice the rock for the same money.

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Make sure you get consultancy from a Certified gemologist not only a Designer or laymen. Exemple: ABFerraz (Instagram) was a recommendation from acquaintances. She graduated at GIA in Mumbai. I‘ve seen some really impressive designs and technical evaluations from her.

Got a lab grown diamond, which I love and it’s clarity is amazing, but wish I got a moissanite instead so that I don’t have to worry about it. I’m not planning on reselling it so the resale value doesn’t matter to me. Mine was just over 1 carat and had a baguettes on each side. I wouldn’t recommend getting baguettes in the side because finding a flush wedding band is difficult.

Agree with what everyone has said. Once you pick a shape of diamond you want, do some research or work with a jeweler on what the most important attributes will be. My fiancé built my engagement ring with a local jeweler and learned a lot from him. My ring is a solitaire with white gold prongs and a 14K band—since it has a gold band, color wasn’t super important because the gold will make the diamond look a little yellow already. The cut is really the most important thing with solitaires because they’re cut so many times that any flaws in the diamond can be concealed. But with, for example, an emerald, clarity is most important because it’s hard to conceal anything with that shape. Have fun!

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