Ladies in leadership - This is a critical reminder: When a male colleague asks you for “help” with an administrative task, refer him to his executive assistant. Resist resist resist the urge and the social conditioning to be “helpful” to male colleagues in this way. If you need to ask me why, please do. But I’m hoping that the reasons may be occurring to you as you’re reading this. You’re welcome!

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Not every man (or woman, or person) has an executive assistant. Unless you’re being snarky and he is his own executive assistant.

Sometimes a person will ask another person for help because they’ve seen that person succeed before, because they are friends or peers, or for other non selfish or non sexist reasons. Don’t bucket every request as an automatic no.

My juniors, both men and women, ask me for help on administrative tasks all the time - and most often I walk them through it so they can do it on their own next time. Sometimes my seniors ask me, and I do it too. Situation matters.


Sharing another perspective. Not everyone here works in the same industry or at the same scale, but we encounter similar problems. The more women we can help fight off culturally ingrained misogyny, the better.


This! Also, stop referring to your womxn coworkers as “girls” or “gals” please!


First of all, is it a cultural thing? I find that language is used a lot more in certain pockets of the USA. Still never okay, but you need to know what you’re dealing with when you address it. If it’s more of a regional dialect thing, it’ll be a harder habit to break in someone else. I am a direct feedback person, so I’d probably just say “I’d prefer if you addressed me by my name or title in the workplace.” If it’s verbal, when she says “ladies” cut in and say “analysts” or whatever you’d prefer. It will probably take only a few times of being called out for there to be a change.

Nope. My male Senior Partner will do the admin and schedule meetings, follow up on requests and generally be our b*tch when he seems the team is over stretched and crunching. It’s leadership, and how we support our teams.


Explain yourself, please. The cute quips are fun, but let’s have a real discussion about this. I’m genuinely curious to hear your point of view - let’s discuss!

It depends. If he’s helpful and useful to me then I’ll happy return the favor.


It’s all fun and games until you’re the one asked to get coffee and take notes. 😕


I was the only female at this company I interned with and of course I was the unspoken- but designated- note taker and team leader on all projects. It was annoying, but the boys I worked with could never produce the same quality that I could. How do you break the cycle of being the “note taker” when you’re the only one who can do it right?


Exactly. They are playing incompetent about this on purpose so it will jack up your capacity and not theirs

Working in HR as a female is soooo hard when it comes to this. I’m constantly asked to do admin work that we have a receptionist for.


It irritates me that fewer men work in HR but the majority of the HR men I know are in senior positions? Not fair


I think what the poster is speaking of is not falling into chauvinist gender norms at work where we all should be equal. Don’t allow men to have you over functioning because as women we are defaulting to doing the “womens work widgets” for lazy men who feel that all women are immediate subordinates to them in ANY situation.

Correct me if I’m wrong?

My two cents. Just say no.


I think the author’s description of any woman doing any admin work ever as being on a patriarchy drug undermines their point.

Men do admin, women do admin. We lead and support our teams. Doing so isn’t inhaling a patriarch drug and the tone of the post and follow ups are rude and counter productive.

Respect all of these comments and appreciate all of the great women that are posting here - but as Im reading I wonder if the fact that some of us don’t see eye to eye on this is type of thing is contributing to sustaining this type of dynamic for us

There is no disputing that we are still challenged with pay equity issues amongst others so we have to pay attention or at least consider the contributing factors and the underlying dynamic she’s speaking to here if things are going to change


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