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Ladies, what is the most ridiculous thing a partner has ever said/done to you?

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During my review I was told I should speak up more because I’m a woman. I know the partner (female) thought it was a helpful piece of advice but I don’t see male associates being held to higher expectations because they’re a man. Not as downright egregious as the other comments but wanted to highlight that this too is a form of discrimination, albeit well intended.

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Weird reasoning from that partner. For what it is worth I give male and female associates feedback if I think they could speak more or present facts/advice differently.

I was told by my career coach at law school that an interviewer (another woman I might add) complained that I didn’t wear a skirt to the interview and instead wore a very nice pantsuit. Very thankful I didn’t get that job. I feel like I dodged a bullet. Also another lawyer asked me at an open house for our new office if I was a secretary at the firm. And my personal favorite when I showed up at a very large law firm to take a deposition,a male associate who was probably a second year asked me (while the court reporter was setting up) if I was the court reporter. My response? “No I’m an equity partner at my firm and I’m here to take your clients’ depositions.” I did, however, point out to the managing partner at that firm they needed some training for their attorneys. I guess in his mind a woman would never be there to take depositions in a multimillion dollar complex case.

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(I am a brown woman with curly hair)

OCI call back—white woman partner: “you’re very qualified on paper, but the fact that you didn’t take the time to straighten your hair this morning tells me you’re disorganized and don’t care.”

ETA: this was in 2014.

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Disgusting. Rocking my curly hair all the time now, don't care if it bothers other people...

Lol, there needs to be some other reaction button beside like! Don’t know how to respond to these!

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They rly need the 😮 or 😧 shocked faces

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First job in the 90s —- women don’t wear pants to the office.

OCI callbacks at lunch - is that an engagement ring? Are you going to have kids and quit?

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In Delaware in 2010s women were still being told white button down shirts and skirt suits with pantyhose for court, below knee skirts. I wear pants now, suit jackets, a shell under my jacket and flats. But damn, what an uncomfortable situation when I was pregnant and the skirt suit was expected. No thanks!

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Not a partner but a law firm I was interviewing with inadvertently sent an internal email to me that included a pro and con list of why they should or shouldn’t hire me, one of the pros was that I am not ugly at least according to me LinkedIn picture…. Luckily I received an offer a day before the interview from a different firm and Just cancelled the interview

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A4 - lol.

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I don’t think any of us who are not WOC can pretend to fully understand what WOC go through in the workplace. Our own experiences and feelings about harassment we have personally experienced are valid, however, no matter what our skin color is. Personally, I was dragged out a back door and forcibly assaulted. I had bruise imprints from his hands on my body for many days. In some ways I have never recovered emotionally. When I reported the assault I was made to feel like I was lying until he admitted it. He was a key partner so nothing happened to him. It was made clear to me I would never make partner because I reported the incident and I was paid off to leave. Does that mean that I don’t think the day to day disrespect and harassment of WOC is not as bad? Of course not. It’s not a competition. We need to support each other and disallow the patriarchy of old white men and young entitled jerks to divide us in our goal of all of us living up to our potential in a harassment free, and supportive work environment.

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Agree. It’s not a “whose experience is worse?”contest. Mutual respect.

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When he introduced me to his wife at a holiday event for the first time, instead of introducing me as the new associate he said ,” this is X. Sometimes her hair is like this (made a motion for smoothing it back) and then sometimes her hair is like THIS” (expands his hands to show big hair - I wear my hair natural). Suffered many micro aggressions during my time at that firm as the only black associate and was never treated fairly.

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OMG FFS

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Omg to all the above

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I would say all the firms where gross misogyny is not only being tolerated but celebrated should be outed, but I’m afraid the list would never end…

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All the stories here make me think…

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Not as bad as mediocre white women

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Told a single, childless female associate in her 30s that she needed to freeze her eggs.

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Definitely heard this one before…..

When I was an associate: the partner routinely lamented "you were so thin when you joined the firm" and he would always ask me "should you be eating that?" when he'd see me eating.

It never stops, either. I recently got onto a really amazing committee and a fellow partner told me I only made it onto the committee because of my gender. 🤷‍♀️

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Definitely a sign of a workplace run by people with narcissistic tendencies and 0 boundaries.

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This is giving me a real education. I was an associate over two decades ago, and I really thought people had evolved since then.

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No toxic as ever

Was JUST told moments ago that I'm going to have to figure out how to show judges that I'm worthy of being taken seriously because I can't be that young, that pretty, and smart

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That’s sickening. If a partner told me that, I’d never feel comfortable working with them again. I’m sorry :-(

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Told me that he’d find an answer in 5 minutes because I was seemingly doing a bad job, and after two hours, he was still looking at the wrong things. :/

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Told a female associate to never wear pants again. Skirts only

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There should be an option for a scowling emoji . . .

Came into my office and asked if I had vending machine cash for him. I said I had a $5 but that was not good enough for him. I dug through my bag looking for change and got “you need an archeological degree to go through that thing.” Then yells that I’m useless. He goes further down the first year hall asking all the first years for a single. No one has any. Half way down another female first year tells him the vending machine takes credit cards. He yells at her and stomps away in a huff.

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Told me to wear glasses instead of contacts to look like a “sexy librarian”.

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I'm dying inside. Sorry friend, that's awful and yet I smiled simultaneously

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Told me that the only people who become partners are white men with stay at home wives

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Lol at least they acknowledged it

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I was made to apologize for missing work after a traumatic brain injury where I almost had a brain bleed. I also was told it could never happen again.

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I quit a month later

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“Don’t come to work w/o makeup, it’s not good for business…” - when I worked on private practice and had to meet clients often.

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Same.

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