Single Consultants

Lady 🐠, how do distinguish between clingy behavior vs behavior that shows that a guy cares for you and wants you in his life? In the process of getting back with an ex-gf and the situation (contd)

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
Posting as :
works at

What’s her love language? Lady here and my partner is acts of service while I’m words of affirmation. I need enthusiastic verbal affirmation that he finds me attractive (i.e., say something appreciative when you see my naked body) but I REALLY had to spell this one out for him. You guys might just be speaking different languages and so you might need to do much more than you think is necessary to bridge the gap.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Male 🐠 here - agree

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

OP - F 🐠 here. She’s saying she doesn’t want to tell you, as she wants you to be authentically you (and not just saying nice things because she told you to). Get the difference? I think the important thing is finding how to express yourself in ways that are genuinely you, while also meet her needs. Look into love languages (yours and hers), they can provide good insight in case you’ve never heard of them. Things like leaving little notes of love, caressing her and whispering sweet nothings, a simple thank you, or even finding little things to do for her (or with her) to make her feel loved and appreciated can go far. But the trick is finding what works for both of you. Best of luck! 🥰

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

She knows her needs better than any of us. Can’t you ask her how she would like you to express your love for her?

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

I did. She wants to hear nice things about her. At the same time, she also says she doesn't want to tell me what to do.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Male here but just tell her how you feel bro. She obv is interested or she wouldn’t be back.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Thanks all. Her love language is "words of affirmation" for sure. That is the thing I personally struggle with the most due to my own issues though I genuinely want to work through those. Appreciate all the input. Many times I want to tell her things (e.g. how much I miss her which to me is also a form of compliment to her) but hesitate because that may come across as clingy. She wasn't used to me saying those things in the past. I dont know if I'm overthinking.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

I second it - I don’t view those as clingy 🙋🏼‍♀️

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Stop worrying about being clingy! You have to stop this thinking. She could not be more clear about what she wants from you and if you don’t deliver you will lose her. Guys don’t seem to get this and it’s so sad- women say what they want, if the guy doesn’t listen, at a certain point our hearts turn off and can never be turned back in for that guy. Sadly, once we dump you, that’s usually when you start to listen. By then, it’s too late.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Thanks D2. That's exactly what happened with my ex-wife and one of the key reasons for the divorce. I hope it's not too late in the current situation which is further complicated by other factors. A1, Why do you say that? I think every situation is different and not sure there can be a blanket conclusion like that. I know the reasons that led to her being an ex but feel good now that those are behind us now.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Sounds like you have such a good attitude on making it right for her, love it! I guess my question now becomes, why the fear of appearing clingy? Expressing love is such a giving and liberating thing when it is received by a caring partner that I don’t see how she would see you as clingy?

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Thanks M1. You are asking good questions that directly get to some of my insecurities. Fear of intimacy, scared of being vulnerable, fear of commitment... Been through some pretty bad experiences in life. But I'm committed to getting past those.

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

You don’t need her king

Reaction Icon Like
like
Arrow Icon

Compliment her and snuggle her. Express your emotions of how you feel. She obvi wants you and wants to hear your authentic emotions.

Reaction Icon Like
helpful
Arrow Icon

I would advise not getting back with an ex.

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

... (contd) is a little complicated. But without getting into details, I'm getting feedback from her that I'm not making her feel loved, appreciated and wanted so she is still doubting the whole thing. I want to show her this is for real but at the same time dont want to come across as clingy. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Additional Posts

All this stuff with Kapernick and taking a knee and all that has got me wondering if we could participate in "corporate disobedience" to protest our agencies' lack of diversity.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

What regulations do you encounter that affect how you manage your classroom?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Thoughts on Smartsheet as an exit from consulting? Anyone familiar with their culture and pay?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

How hard is it to get into MBB as an MBA summer? We just finished up summer recruiting and curious what the offer rate is at MBB.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Offer from a startup - I would be their first hire, and they can only offer me 6 months guaranteed salary (trying to raise seed round now) 1YOE at a boutique - should I even consider this?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Do fellow 🐠 out here send thank you notes after final round interview loops?!? Seems like a pain to try to have Hr facilitate forwarding in your behalf and fairly certain they can’t share email ids anyway so just wondering what the professional best practice here or if it’s not required after the final round.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Anyone have a ballpark total comp for a first year Consultant at ZS? HCOL (California)

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

ITS senior/manager let me know if you want a referral to join EisnerAmper in NYC. We are hiring!

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

I recently passed the CFE and was looking into the CAMS next. Any suggestions on how to best prepare for the CAMS? I’ve been mostly reviewing the index cards that come with the prep material.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Parents are deciding between moving to WVirginia vs Virginia at retirement to be closer to us based in fairfax (ideally be at 1 hour driving distance). They currently in the mid west but WVirginia appeals to them because of low taxes, low cost of living. We are also poc so appreciate some diversity. What are some areas you would recommend both in Va and WV? What else should they consider prior to house hunting? Dad likes to garden/farm as well so looking for homes with large backyards. Tia!

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

For people who live alone, how are you staying motivated? I’ve been feeling more depressed lately and really need some advice to get through this whole wfh thing

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

we just had a day full of workshops about inclusion, so maybe my job is safe for a few months.

likefunny
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Is there typically a significant increase in salary when promoted from manager to senior manager? What is the average increase?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

My bonus was peanuts, impacted by my 4months maternity leave. Did you face this situation? How did you handle it?

Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

On Glassdoor slalom consultant salary range shows between 35 - 71 an hour which translates to around 70 -142k a year. Is this accurate ?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Anyone have the insight on Comp for Val at Big4 and other shops

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

Is federal consulting really as bad as some make it seem on here? As far as career progression, salary, project work, etc.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

How much do Senior Partners at MBB usually make (i.e. where does in max out)? Heard numbers ranging from $2-4Mn all the way to $10Mn. How does it compare to PE/VC Partners?

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

If you already have an offer from Big 4 (same starting pay) and a very good chance to get an interview at MBB would you still go through the whole drill of case prepping etc? Is it okay to feel lazy?!

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon

What is Deloitte Ops Transformation and is it a good area? Had a recruiter reach out and curious about culture, projects, people, etc.

like
Reaction Icon Like
Arrow Icon
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what’s it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

OR

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

Please enter a valid number