Last December, my mom said I needed to check myself into a mental hospital. It was a deliberate attempt to hurt, she knew I was getting help and not at risk.

We've had little contact this year but I feel intense guilt about her not seeing her grandkid much. Im learning about our intergenerational trauma and how to set better boundaries. She continually violates them. She sends texts to say I'm "mean" and "ruining the holidays".

Does the guilt go away? Do you go no contact, kid included?

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I think when you become a parent yourself your first priority is your children. It doesn’t sound like their grandmother is healthy for them so you’re doing less to protect yourself and more to protect your own children, so you shouldn’t feel guilty.

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That's the hard part, she puts up a great front for the kid. Pumps for info and will tell kid to tell me stuff sometimes but never not kind to the child, they both enjoy it at this point.

You're right though, my kid is #1 priority and I wouldn't want to give her bad behavior a chance to start with my baby.

Thanks!

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Classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder - it’s unfortunate and my mother is the same way.

Breaking contact with that mentally unwell person about two years was one of the most liberating feelings…

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Zero contact. She’s an adult who never learned how to have healthy relationships and doesn’t want to change. It’s profoundly sad once you see it for what it is but some folks unfortunately turn out this way - I’ll respectfully keep my distance.

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