{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Last night I decided to leave my husband over recurring emotional infidelity. We have a one yo. \n\nI’m worried abt how this will impact my career (I’m pretty early tenure) and don’t know how I could parent without a partner as a consultant \n\nAlso worried about how this will affect my finances immediately (I make more and have more in my retirement accounts) and in the long term\n\nWhat should my next step be? I haven’t yet told him.", "post_id": "61a36a0f149bf9002ab0faea", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Last night I decided to leave my husband over recurring emotional infidelity. We have a one yo. I’m worried abt how this will impact my career (I’m pretty early tenure) and don’t know how I could parent without a partner as a consultant Also worried about how this will affect my finances immediately (I make more and have more in my retirement accounts) and in the long term What should my next step be? I haven’t yet told him.

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Step 1: Contact a lawyer and set up a consultation. Step 2: see step 1. Seriously, that should be the only thing you do so you can understand your options and have all your ducks in a row before telling your husband.

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OP - great to hear and I wish you all the best! I have been in your shoes, with 3 kids, and it's not easy but your well being, as well as your child, are the most important things. Someone else already said this but I can't reiterate it enough - surround yourself with a positive network and take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Sending you positive thoughts and much peace and love!

Agree with EY but wanted to add- I’m so sorry you’re going through this but good for you for making the best decision for you ❤️

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Thank you!

I'm sorry about what you're going through. You're asking all the right questions and things will change in many ways once you divorce him and move on. I'm a single mom and am living my best life but it wasn't easy : I had to learn how to take care of my child and myself without him, which included everything (food, clothing, schooling, childcare, extracurriculars etc) on top of juggling work. I was overwhelmed most days, and still dealing with the depression rel to the breakup. It is a journey and took me a few years (5 ish) to find my feet and embrace and enjoy it all. Here are some things that helped me that may help you as well: 1. Have a good network. Family, friends, whoever. You'll need it for practical reasons (eg babysitting) but also for your emotional needs. 2. Don't forget your own needs. Exercise, eat well, meditate, do therapy - whatever you need. It's going to be a bit rough for a while so you need to be strong. 3. Take time off work that you need. People will understand. Good luck!

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I really appreciate the thoughtful response… thank you! Glad things are better for you now.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this - I and my kids were much older when I got divorced, so my situation was different, but I do know some of what you’re going through. Agree with the advice to get a good lawyer first. The divorce laws vary so much by state, so you really need to know what the situation is where you live. You will get through this. I’m not going to sugarcoat it - it will probably get worse before it gets better, but it will eventually get better and there is life on the other side.

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Thank you!

No experience but I really admire you for making this decision OP 🤍

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I don’t really feel like I have a choice… but I appreciate the sentiment

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Have you been through couples counseling? I think this is next step. I’d be far more worried about your child’s well being than your career at this point.

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No. We haven’t been through couple’s counseling but I don’t think I even want to try to work on it this time so I don’t see the point. I am worried abt my child’s well-being obviously… physical (he has a chronic sickness) and emotional … I will do whatever is within my power to reduce the damage but that surely has implications for my career as well

Can you elaborate on “emotional infidelity”?

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Exchanging affectionate texts with exes and asking them if they’d like to meet up with him when he’s traveling to other cities (different from where they live)

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Be strong sending you 🫂 and positive vibes… a poem by my friend on being a woman…

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Thank you!

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Sending love

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