Let’s get talking! What are some subtle forms of sexism you encounter in the office on the daily, and how do you deal with it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Responsible for team engagement which meant planning team lunches and activities. The kicker is that I was supposed to just “know” that team engagement was low and it was somehow part of my role. It was never discussed during onboarding. I was not in an admin or even PMO role. None of the men were asked to do this. So I had to stand my ground and refuse to be their event planner. It was just another example of a man putting their responsibilities of what they deemed to be a woman’s job on someone else.

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That is totally fucked.

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P1 for thread MVP 🏆🏆🏆

likeuplifting
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Dudes who reach out to me wanting to “pick my brain” as a SME and then expect me to send the calendar invite.

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When someone (okay, a man) reaches out to me I do not initiate the scheduling. His deadline passes? His problem.

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Always being asked to do coordinating activities, from arranging meeting to taking notes to doing project admin stuff

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@Pwc2 no offense taken. To clarify, I’m the only female in a team of 3

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Men who INSIST on holding the door or having you enter/exit an elevator first. I’m all for being polite but if I get to the door first the world isn’t going to end if I hold it open for a guy

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I understand that in certain cultures here in the US and elsewhere, this has been engrained in men since childhood and is meant as a form of respect for women. I believe that true manners involve not insulting people for actions very kindly meant.

Also, a colleague of mine who is latino always does this but treats women as absolute equals and is one of our biggest allies. So 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I can understand where other points of view originate, though.

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Apologizing to me, the only woman in the room, before swearing (and I swear a lot)

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This hit home. This happened too much to me. Finally started proactively swearing day-to-day so I could avoid this.

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Every time this assistant in my office refers to the consultants as “the guys” and services as “the girls” 🙄

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WOW

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Excluded from ‘technical’ conversations with the boys

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Gentlemen, I need to hear this otherwise I’ll never learn unless you’re just excluding me for other reasons?

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Being talked over.

One subtle way to address the behaviours, especially in a group, is to ensure other women present get the chance to finish: "X, what were you going to say? Can you repeat that?” etc. After the offending dude has finally stopped talking. I can point out the behaviour that’s affected me while also supporting other women #winwin

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If you’re being interrupted, I would very calmly say “Bob, let me just finish this one thought.” The chances of them doing it to you again will decrease dramatically.

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Note taking. Literally I’m always asked to take notes.

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P1 - I’m loving all your answers 🙌🏼. I was able to nip this expectation when replying, “Bob, when was the last time Kyle or Chad took notes? 😁” Bob never asked me again.

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Partner 1 - whoever you are 🙌

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Partner 1 has about 150 new wannabe mentees after this thread. Thank you so much for your insights here.

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Got feedback that I didn’t look smiley enough around the client and that this was directly causing the 3 male senior consultants on my team to not look smiley either. Am I responsible for the moods of 3 men with several years more experience who should be role modeling the correct behavior? Why should the woman have to look happy?

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I’m a woman and had to have this convo with a male junior lately. The client had complained. It was awkward.

Today the male office manager told me (30F) I was a “sweet girl” 🤢

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I always hear “sweet girl” as compliant and it makes my spine shudder.

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In our leadership meetings being asked to take notes as I am the only female...

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PwC8 - next time you’re asked to take notes, ask them to explain their choice in asking YOU out of the rest of the team.

Men talking over me. And me having to say, ‘I’d like to finish my thought.” If the guy is an *sshole, I’ll put my hand out like a traffic cop. They get so embarrassed.

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Got out of a team meeting and male peer turns around and asks ‘oh you took notes right? Can you upload them so the team can review?’

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Oh I assumed you got it since I took them last time.

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Trying to keep up with my (very tall) male manager in the airport (esp if I’m wearing heels) is the greatest athletic challenge of my week. Why does he have to walk so fast when my small legs are clearly struggling to keep up without breaking into a jog and we aren’t even crunched for time??

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I just walk at the pace I’m going to walk. Eventually they’ll realize they’ve outpaced you and will figure it out. I’m going at the pace I want to.

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A new MD (from BCG) always talks over me and always addresses the team as “Guys”. I was asked to come into this project by the original MD because the earlier manager (a guy) was not able to manage the work or the client but this MD doesn’t let any of my ideas be used in the final deliverable, almost always brushes aside what i am saying and came and told me in front of the entire team “I won’t ever ask you to present in front of the client”

I am going to tell my counselor once he is back from PTO and roll myself off the project

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SM1 I love this.

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Being told I "come on too strong" by a male team member with a different specialty for daring to speak in meetings, when I was literally brought on as an SME (and as the only team member with experience in my area).

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Bob, thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it. Frankly I viewed myself in that meeting as actively participating and thought it was appropriate to share my experiences since I was brought on as SME. However if I misread the room and it was received negatively, I will adjust going forward.

ACN6, that said make sure there’s not some validity to this, meaning it wasn’t a bull in a china shop type of a situation. Don’t know what I don’t know, but I have delivered similar feedback to new folks in the room who haven’t had a lot of exposure to the client, so weren’t as effective in reading the room yet.

likesmart

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