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So glad I don’t teach littles! That said, when my youngest was in elementary school they had a policy that no invitations could be passed out by students or teachers at school. It was a bit of a hassle, but I think it was for the best in the long run.
I mean, she could do it privately outside of school. Maybe get to know parents of kids and have conversations.
Yes, she could have done it outside of school if she didn't want to follow the school policy. I approached her as though it was a simple mistake, trying to help out, but she made it very clear that it was intentional.
Rising Star
I think I would have done exactly what you did! If she refuses to send in those 2 others by Monday I would send the rest home so she can just mail them. We have a lot of legitimate responsibilities in the day and you don’t have time to deal with this nonsense. How horrible for those 2 children that wouldn’t be invited??? I honestly don’t think I’ve ever communicated that rule and I doubt it’s in our school rules but I’m knocking on wood I never have this issue!
I was thinking the same thing. The 2 little ones that didn't get an invited would feel so bad. I would not be able to bring myself to do that.
Having you copy the invite and sending it out is going above and beyond your responsibility. You are nicer than me.
The party is next Saturday apparently and I didn't want the kid to deal with very little attendance just because the mom didn't want to follow our school policies. We've had several issues with her following standard school procedures even down to picking up her child with a rising fever. And my student is not even her oldest at the school.
You did exactly the right thing! I have the same policy.
Honestly, I understand the point of these policies but also the birthday kid has the right to only have the kids that they want at their birthday. It makes no sense to divvy it up by either you have to invite everybody or you have to invite all the girls or you have to invite all the boys. if I had to do that, I would just not even have a birthday party at that age because I hated the girls in my school except for one I always hang out more with the boys and I definitely would not want to invite every single person because they were some definite assholes in my grade and I don’t use that word lightly. There were really annoying very bullies even in first grade. Honestly, I think the only rule should be is that if you don’t want to adhere to these rules than you need to invite people off of school campus. And I understand wanting a kid to have people at their birthday party but also you don’t want people at a birthday party just for the sake of having a lot of people. My best birthday party it was me and two friends And that’s all I wanted that year. I didn’t want a whole thing and yeah anyway I really just dislike the idea that schools are forcing kids to invite other kids in certain ways. I just don’t think that should be something that we do. It’s the same thing as we teach about consent right like I’m not gonna hug somebody who doesn’t wanna be hugged. I don’t want to invite somebody to a birthday party that I really don’t like. We need to actually teach our children that it’s OK to only invite the people that you actually want on your birthday.
And I agree, your point about if you don't want to adhere to the policy, then do it outside of school is really important. She could have asked for information to get those students invited but she chose to send invitations to school for her child to pass out. We also have room parents that have every parent's info that she could have reached out to for this purpose.
There are so many things I never knew happened in elementary school!!! Is this common? Around here, parents just call up other parents or hand deliver invitations.
I teach in Idaho and YES this has always been common for over 20+ years. Kids will bring them to school and pass them out IN FRONT of other classmates. Many will tell them you are not invited. It is BS. Birthday invitations are not part of the curriculum and have no place at school.
It may be sad that some kids get overlooked, but I don’t understand why it is the place of the school to make that social decision for the parent or the child.
We are trying to make schools arbiters and resources for everything now. And then using that to control so much. I do not like it at all.
This was a policy in my elementary school back in the dark ages, so it’s really not new.
If she is the kind of parent to exclude the two children on purpose, if forced to invite them they would be treated terribly at the party and possibly at school. The child of the parent might start treating them badly or worse at school and encouraging others to do so too. Just put all the invitations back into the birthday child’s backpack. Then I would send a message to all the parents reminding them about this rule and the social emotional aspect that it causes going against the social emotional curriculum that you are having to teach. Everyone learns at a different level, even adults. Some might even need it spelled out in detail before they understand.
Pro
FWIW, inviting them doesn't mean their parents will accept and have them go.
I understand this completely. I'm a high school teacher with a first grader at home. I sent 25 invitations (not even labeled with names) for a class of 18. Im THAT person who doesn't want to see any kid get left out.
That being said, If mom doesn't follow the rules, then her kid suffers. It's the same for tardiness, absenteeism, homework, all the things. Parents not stepping up and doing their part is harming their kids more than they realize.
She asked if I could send out a photo of them & I just photo copied one of the given ones and tried to make it look like the others the best I could. She said it's because there were kids that were mean to him that he didn't want there, but when he put them in everyone's mail, he chose not to give them to 2 random girls that I have a really hard time believing are unkind to anyone, let alone him. She also said the majority of invites were for people not in the class...but that wasn't true.
Wow, you did a lot! I would have sent them home. We don’t have time for that hott mess.
Idaho, that’s the best way to do it. In todays world a lot of parents choose to the easiest way possible for them.
Is this common in elementary school? I can see why the parent could be a little irritated. The more guests at the party, the more money has to be spent on food, games, a bigger venue, etc. I would feel overwhelmed or burdened financially by having to pay for a party for 30+ children when my child is only good friends with 5
Pro
That's why you just invite the kids you genuinely know by contacting their parents. Calling them or mailing them the invite.
I think that parents make it awkward when they pass out the invites in the class. They should just give them to the parents of the students they want to invite after class to avoid making the other students feel left out