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null

Lies about consulting pre-joining .. Go!

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In middle-year general meeting: "Everything is going very well, as expected, business is growing, margins are good..."
End-year personal bonus/salary review meeting: "We have had a catastrophic year, it is very bad, we didn't attend our objectives, all your teammates are going to have, on average, a very small return...."

likefunny

Same. Always.

likesmart

"We have a worldwide network of |*place a keyword here*| experts with a deep experience in your industry..."

|*list of keywords*|:
- Robotics
- Artificial Intelligence
- Machine Learning
- Big Data
- Small data, human unlearning, artificial delivery intelligence, robotics by VBA...

likefunny
Recent IconRecent

I’ll start: you will have short projects and see many different industries!

likefunny

Wow. I’ve been at 9 different companies

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Lie: We’ll train you

IRL: we’re all just making this up as we go 🤷‍♂️

likefunny

“Work-life balance"

likefunny

😂 such a myth

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"You'll have a variety of work and can choose where you'd like to specialize later."

Lol

likefunny

Epic joke

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We value diversity

likefunnysmart

@A5, not even the fat white man at my workplace. Everyone seems to be athletic build, always in good shape

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We're working with cutting edge technologies. Now finish up that VBA macro.

likefunny

yes, technologies that make you want to cut yourself. your fault for not asking the clarifying question.

likefunny

“You’ll be a consultant”

I am a code monkey

likefunny

Have boring meeting, with boring manager Rob

Your contribution matters.

likefunny

You can have boundaries on work

likefunny

Biggest joke ever

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You will get to travel internationally to work on our global clients

likefunny

I agree with PwC 1. It is a big lie for all BIG4. And it is easy to understand why: in the context of consulting companies with more than 100k employees, everything is organised in a way that we have people with the same competencies placed in each country (everybody is replaceable). Son when a project requests a specific skill, it is always less expensive to take a local consultant than paying very expensive business trips to have the same consultant coming from abroad.

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We value growth mindset—you don’t have to be perfect, all that matters is commitment to improving

likefunny

Except when you get up or outed

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You'll make partner in a year. We can't bring in direct admit partners to this group.

likefunnyhelpful

:( toughest comment on this post imo

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you get to “own your career” and that the company is highly entrepreneurial

likefunny

The firm values work life balance and you will be able to go wherever you want.

likefunny

You're partner material. You'll make partner one day!

Short for: work you ass off, don't push back, maybe you'll make to to Director one day if you're lucky

likefunnyhelpful

You’ll work on strategy projects

likefunny

You will work with really smart people - some projects make me feel where I am stuck

likesmart

Travel is flexible. 50% Max

likefunny

Additional Posts

Ok, whose engineers are better compensated? Amazon or Microsoft?

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Curious how everyone finds time to do things while working 60-80 hours per week. My non-working hours are spent on cooking, eating, sleeping, laundry, cleaning for the most part. I can’t even begin to figure out how to find the time to hang out with friends more, read a book or spend time on a hobby, etc, and it feels really overwhelming 😫

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Sometimes I step back and really struggle to understand my priorities. Why I have them, whether they’re really mine, whether they’re worthy of me, etc.

Sometimes it’s like I’m coasting through life

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Does SpaceX/Starlink have good company culture? Do you have any idea what their WLB is like?

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@Budweiser
She found she has it all?
Reverse Gillette?

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How does everyone like the new Workhuman rewards and recognition site? previously was called recognition e-cards & points

I’m having coffee with an old coworker from my previous career. What would you guys do to transition to business?

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Got a referral for a company and had a first round interview last week. Recruiter never got back. Should I bother following up or is it too late? 😕

good wallet / handbag recommendations? for a friends birthday that is coming up 🙃

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Happy last Friday of summer! Does your agency do Summer Fridays? Did you have time to take all of them? Why not All-Year-Round Fridays? Why not a floating weekday each week? What would you argue for?

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Hi ladies, I am on maternity leave and am doing some socially distanced walks with a couple of other moms in my district that I met on a local Facebook group. One mom I met just really wasn't my cup of tea, but she keeps messaging me asking whether I am in town, would I like to meet up etc. Shes messaged me 5 times this week... How can I politely get out of this and end the constant requests for new meetups, aside from ghosting which is just mean. I dont want to upset her!

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anyone tried to move from a smaller market (denver, portland, austin) to nyc?

What % of your office are hip hop heads? Like at an agency event if some Biggie comes on, how many people lose it and hit the dance floor? This is how I want to find my next agency home

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What’s the best beach resort with SPG/Marriott points outside the Zika zone?

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Companies justifying lower salaries because of their “culture” is no different than paying artists with “exposure”

likehelpfulfunny

Are you guys taking vacations with young kids? I was thinking of Airbnb or hotel but with a 2 year old who licks every surface, that seems a scary option. Any suggestions?

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My wife is pregnant and my in-laws want to visit to help out with the delivery in March. They don’t have a visitor (b1/b2) visa and need to apply for one. Does anyone know if this would be considered an emergency situation?

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Can anyone provide insight on exit ops / transition strategy from an enterprise risk transformation background to something less focused on risk without MBA? 2 YOE background in info systems. Work exp is process based not risk assurance / IT audit.

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Deloitte fish - is there a rule for how much notice we need to give when resigning?

likefunny

Is lower MM a sustainable career / worth it? MFs can maneuver to MM/LMM if there’s no promotional path, and if the only road (assuming) post LMM is corporate, then isn’t it just a matter of time? Or maybe wrong way to think about it? (Referring to buyout only)

likesmart

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