literally on the phone with a friend mentioning how much pain I’m in rn after having had covid recently and still recovering and she goes “yeah me too” after going through nothing of the sort 😒 like wtf?! people like that are the actual worst lol

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I suggest you to not underestimate anyone's problem, life hits everyone in different ways.

likeupliftinghelpful

Thanks for judgy post ❤️

likesmart

One upper’s are real toxic people 😂😂😅
Just avoid them

likehelpful

That’s the word! A “one upper”. It literally never made any sense to me to do that when it’s never even about anything good 😂 like you should be happy you’re not sick and in pain? Why is that something to one up about smh

How do you know she doesn’t understand? One uppers are annoying for sure, but isn’t it just as bad to be the person assuming you have it the worst/are the most sick/need the most sympathy/whatever?

likehelpful

I’m really confused why you’re being so aggressive and making assumptions. I don’t care about needing people to “feel bad” for me. Just want people not to try to “one up” on something they’ve never experienced and aren’t currently experiencing because frankly, it’s annoying. It’s actually kind of ironic because if you actually knew me and my friends you’d know I’m the one always on the receiving end of peoples complaints trying to make them feel better. But hey you know me better than I do right? So go off I guess.

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Some people say that to show they relate to your experience, not everything needs to be seen as a negative

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I agree, what you’re saying makes sense, sometimes people just aren’t thinking when they one up and maybe it’s their way of trying to relate. Given that this is an old friend (many years) who I already know has a habit of doing this a lot, it is probably healthier for me to avoid talking to them about anything they can’t actually relate to. Posted this in ‘confessions’ just to express my annoyance at this habit but apparently everyone here interpreted that as a “victim complex” lol thanks for being a real one & responding without aggressively attacking 😅

Agree, ppl complaining all the time are the worst

likefunny

That‘s what I was implying D1. OP didn‘t just complain to her friend about being in pain but then kept on complaining about her friend here on FB

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Sounds like you just learned this isn’t much of a friend. Have you called her out on this behavior?

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Well…it seems awfully selfish. Let me ask you this. If someone close to you passes away and you’re sad…is she going to make the conversation about her? If so…I’d argue that is malicious. Ten years or not…you deserve good friends. One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older…less friends that are high quality is better than many of low quality. Just my two cents.

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Instead of thinking of this as a “one upping” response, it sounded to me more like a distracted one, like she wasn’t paying attention and used a filler response. “Oh yeah, me too.” You know the context and person better obviously but that was my initial impression.

I say this as someone whose mind has wandered during a conversation and probably provided an off response. 😬

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This theory makes sense to me! She could’ve definitely just not actually been listening and consumed with something of her own and just said it to say something. I mean it’s a possibility for sure since that happens too

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I called a friend the other day to talk about a surprise trip to the ER. She listened to me for about an hour. Then I found out she just got back from Houston and both her parents have COVID and her mom almost died. Then we went through her problems and challenges.
That’s what friends do. The person you talked to is not your friend.

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Thank you. I got sent back today actually, but my tests showed negative.
TBH We are of a like mind, but aren’t that close - that’s what made me see the challenges with the experience described.

Maybe she just doesn’t explicitly complain to you. You’re denying her feelings when she’s expressing herself to you.

Lmao this is actually kind of funny coming from someone that doesn’t know either of us bc this specific friend is the biggest complainer of all my friends combined 😅 I probably get 10 complaint messages a day per 1 time I complain in return….

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