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Thoughts on thots?
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East Asian male here. I've found myself becoming more and more well received and perceived the more delusionally cocky I've become.
I think the idea is something like, the people who reach for the stars and fail get farther than the people who don't.
In the western world, there is almost no consequence to your career trajectory if you have too much confidence (borderline egomaniac). You may not be liked by a lot of people but you’ll have a much higher financial upside than those without the same degree of confidence. Seen it way too many times in my life. Being humble and modest doesn’t make you a stronger competitor in a very capitalistic society. My two cents.
Asian male here: I think it’s like the dating game. Just present yourself as above average cocky and witty and you will woo some success from teammates and clients.
You won’t seal much opportunities playing the old school Asian modesty. That might work in predominantly Asian cultures and societies but not in American corporations.
I do say modest things expressively but use body language to express that I’m still confident so it’s even more entertaining to my peers. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Don’t speak softly while carrying a chopstick
I get the frustration. I’m an Asian female as well working in a predominantly white male space. I think confidence is how well you present yourself. It doesn’t always mean who can talk the most or the loudest. Rather, your poise, your gaze, and your calming yet strong presence.
I’ve come to understand my working style and learned to accentuate it to its potential. I have opinions. But, I am not always the one that’s eager to please, that talks the loudest and the most in meetings. However, I deliver on everything and I am that stable and dependable support in my team that both my team and my clients recognize. Don’t get me wrong, my social level is normal. I don’t shy away from socializing and speaking out. I’m just not an intercom eager to please the higher ups. And if people don’t like that despite the quality of work I deliver, I can take my skill sets elsewhere. To me that’s also confidence.
I am SO confident regardless of my actual talent ;)
Yeah it’s better to project confidence even when you have none. What’s the downside? We’re not performing surgery or saving lives so what are you afraid you’ll damage by just being confident?
Nah being outspoken has helped me a lot.
Or they’re just good at presenting themselves. I have a white male friend who comes off super confident, gives public speeches to crowds of 200 people but says that every time he speaks he feels like he is having a heart attack.
A1 East Asian male here. I’ve done speaking to 200+ people even in my teens. What he says is right. I’m perceived as calm and confident, but my adrenaline is usually through the roof
OP, overconfidence is not good. Being female and Asian means you need to overcome an initial first impression, but don’t let that stop you. After 5-15 seconds of meeting/talking people can usually tell who I am
I think it's an age thing. I've found the older I got the more confident I am of my skills and knowledge. Asian male as well. Don't fret OP it gets better from 30+
So has anyone experienced an adverse reaction from others as to the tune of “Oh, I didn’t expect the Asian to be so outspoken, perhaps we should reconsider this person’s candidacy”?
S&1 no, but there's certainly "appropriate" confidence and disagreeableness. It's not just being tough, other's perception of you has to match it otherwise you'll be perceived as "uppity". As a generalization, cocky white guys pull it off because they seem to really really believe it. And whether it's true or not, we don't challenge others' cockiness in Western society unless there is a clear mismatch.
I'm 1 year out of college, 6 figures. When I interviewed for my current role I decided to just go all in for it and sell myself as a SME. Convinced them and went from tech delivery to tech strategy... IT monkey to presenting to execs.
I think people assume substance of Asian males even if we don’t have any as well though.