Looking for advice. Have an uncle (retired USMC) being buried with military honors this week. My family asked that I wear my uniform to the burial as I am an active reservist. (USAF).

I’m hesitant because I feel like I’m brining attention to myself, but I totally understand wearing it to honor my uncle. Should I show up uniform or a suit?

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I was in the same situation when my grandfather passed. I was also an active reservist and refused to wear my uniform as I was worried it would take attention away from my grandfather. Finally, my grandmother asked me to wear my dress blues, and I wasn't about to say no to my recently widowed grandmother.

At the funeral, the detail asked me to join in the folding ceremony (I'm an officer so all I had to do was march and give commands) - again I had to be talked in to it, and they had me present the flag to my grandmother.

It meant the world to her. If I had known how much, I never would have said no all those times. Don't worry about taking attention away - do it for the survivors. The funeral isn't about the person in the ground - it's about the ones above ground coming to closure and moving on.

Put on your blues, get out there, go approach the detail, tell them you're joining (they won't say no), and honor your uncle. He deserves nothing less. You won't regret it, and neither will the survivors.


That’s what it’s all about. Those are moments to live for and that you’ll never forget. I joined active duty the year after my grandpa died (WWII vet) and often thought about the flag that was given to my Grandma at his funeral. Anyway, thanks for sharing.


I’d absolutely wear it. It will naturally bring some attention to you, but the intent is to honor your uncle.

Would your uncle feel proud knowing you showed up wearing it? If so, there’s your answer. If you think he’d for some reason find it questionable, then wear a suit.


Wow, that was genuinely you helpful and touching, so thank you. I will likely stand with my family and let the detail do their thing. What should I be aware of in terms of protocols.

I know that I’d you’re seated in the beginning you stay seated for the entire ceremony. I know to present arms when the coffin passes I from of me and to do the same during taps. Anything else I should be aware of?


I am very sorry for your loss. I suggest wearing your uniform.
How the memorial service is organized or folded into a religious service will determine what honors will need to be rendered.
I have been through several memorial services. The most moving part is the roll call at the end.
Again, I am very sorry for your loss.


I just went through this in the fall. My uncle was Navy and buried at Arlington. I am a reservist army and wore my uniform. It meant a lot to my aunt and mom and didn’t take away from the ceremony at all. People aren’t paying attention to you. They are there for your family member. The ceremony is moving and reminds you why you serve. I recommend wearing it.


Was asked to do my father’s eulogy by my Step Mother at Arlington after begging off earlier. I reluctantly agreed to do it as a retired LTC for my Dad the former Colonel. I am one of three sons as well, the youngest. I’m retrospectively so honored and grateful for the opportunity. Anything you can do to honor your uncle and instill continued pride in both your military services is a good thing. You might think of it as demonstrating an example of legacy his life has had on others including you.


I've buried multiple of my battles since returning from my deployment. Suicide has claimed half my squad, and it's extremely sad. The very first service was about six months after we got back. I didn't want to wear my uniform (same thinking as your own). Being close to the family, his mom called me and asked me if his other buddies and I would come in uniform, and we obliged. It meant the absolute world to them. If that is the family's wish, please do it. You won't regret it. The show of support helps the family with the grieving process. It's such an easy way to help. I won't wear my uniform just willy nilly, but I won't hesitate if asked.


My mother asked me to attend my stepfather's funeral in uniform. I'm an actively drilling Army Reserve Chief. No issues.


When my uncle died both me and my brother wore our uniforms. Just before the service we approached the pastor and told him we had plans that were not part of what was scheduled and what we were going to do. He told us the best time to do it. In true joint ( my brother was Navy I was Air Force) ceremonial fashion we presented my aunt with flowers, a folded flag, and we saluted her. She said that meant so much to her that we would honor our uncle in such fashion. Your not doing it for you, your doing it to honor your fallen family member.
God speed and I'm sorry for your loss.


Defer to the wishes of the family.


Similar situation. Grandfather was USMC. I'm Army. I was the only service member in the family living. I wore my uniform and don't regret it. All service members have that right to support each other. It's about respect, it isn't taking away the spotlight.

After the marines folded the flag, they handed it to me and I presented it to my grandmother. Not a dry eye to be seen. I was proud to be a part of the ceremony and proud to be able to honor my grandfather.

So in summary, suit up and honor your service and your loved one


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