Looking for advice on personal space in a relationship. Been in thus relationship for 6 months. I date here and there but have not been in a serious relationship in a long time. Been working late M-F since COVID started. I usually call my gf after work or before I go to sleep and we talk for an hr or so each night. And on Fridays I go to her place right after work and stay the weekend. I’m finding a lack of my own time because it’s either work or her throughout the week and weekends...

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I am quarantining with my boyfriend after being used to him traveling 4 days a week. He’s a consultant and I’m in business school. It’s harder when we’re together 24/7 because I love it but he sometimes needs his space to hang with his friends and play video games. (I really hate when he plays video games because it can last hours). However we had a serious convo about it and he schedules nights to hang and play with his friends and I do my own thing. He’s happier, which makes me happier. Everyone needs their “me time”.

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Thank you so much. I know I need to change. Sometimes this job just drains you. I need to start focusing on what’s important in my life

likesmart

Well I guess it depends on your priorities... from my experience when I really care about a person I make time. But my priority is my w-l balance so I make it a point not to work crazy hours and actually have relationships outside of work

smart

F here..you guys need to focus on spending quality time together, rather than quantity time. Sit down and talk it thru.

helpful

At the end of the day, we are all numbers. #peoplefirst

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You also need to do something for yourself. Both of your feelings are valid. You will always feel this way if you don't have a hobby of your own. And she will feel this way as long as you don't think she's a priority. Make time for yourself and make time for her. We work to live not live to work.

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She doesn’t think we talk enough but we are literally on the phone every night and I’m at her place on the weekends. Not sure how to approach this

Bring it up honestly without having a solution figured out. Ask her what she thinks the solution might be. My solution would be schedule time by yourself and schedule time with her so there aren’t any last minute surprises about whether you’re hanging. Be fully engaged when you’re with her and find things to look forward to that you’ve communicated beforehand (movie, meal, how excited you are to see her, etc.). But when it’s your own time by yourself rest easy knowing she knew you needed the alone time ahead of time and that you openly communicated

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