Looking for input - my father (who is in his 70s) has decided to start traveling again. He has no obligation to do so, but also doesn’t think that there’s much risk. My parents live in a southern state with rapidly rising case counts, and my mother has several very high risk conditions. Question is this - do I keep trying to convince him not to travel? How aggressively? Or just shut up and hope for the best?

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Phrase in a way that you're asking him for a favor for you as a person because you are emotionally fragile and need his help, not something that you're telling him to do because you think he is weak/old.

I.e., you're just so worried and anxious and while you know he is so strong and healthy, it's physically impacting you with the stress from the media etc. and you keep thinking about how you want your future children to know their grandparents and would love for him to just do this favor, for you, because you are so weak and helpless and need him to be your big strong father by staying home for a little big longer, so you don't get so anxious at work etc. Your heart just can't handle it.

I know it sounds really stupid, but it worked for my parents, who don't even believe coronavirus is real.

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That’s a good point... i can see how a lot of the issues are caused by parent/child role reversal, and I’m sure he’d react more positively to me asking for his help (him being in control) than me insisting he’s feeble or incapable of assessing the risk.

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Keep trying until you’ve made enough effort that should the worst happen, you won’t regret not saying more. Only you can decide when you’ve reached that point. Then you have to just accept his decision. Now if your mom is more in line with you and objects to his plans, that would definitely increase how vocally I’d object. Maybe send him one of the many articles from someone describing their experience of losing a loved one during this time (though I understand he may have already seen these and just thinks it won’t happen to them). That along with the data on how it impacts older individuals with high risk conditions is about all you can hope would be needed to convince someone to be cautious, but alas, it’s all a cost/benefit analysis and living like hermits with no end in sight isn’t great either.

likehelpful

Damn Boomers

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What would you tolerate if the situation was reversed? The man is an adult. I get you’re worried and please don’t think I’m criticizing you for being worried. He’s weighed the same factors you have and reached a different conclusion.

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Possibly true... though they also don’t pay close attention to the trends or latest on safety measures. For example - they were shocked when I sent them a chart of the dramatic case uptrend in their state, they thought things had subsided.

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This is a hard one and obviously will be navigated differently for every person! If it’s a major concern to you then try and convince him not to. You’ve got to play to the type of person he is for it to work as it sounds like he doesn’t care. Could go for sympathy aspect, could guilt trip using your mom as the key point, could try and just present a logical case as to why it’s a bad idea. (I’m sure you know what works for him!)

Ultimately you should push it as far as you feel you need to! I know I’d keep trying if I was in your position.

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