Looking for some opinions..

Those of that baptized your kids, how did you go about choosing godparents? Did you choose primarily close friends or do family? Any restrictions? Are grandparents accepted? We are eastern Orthodox, and I don't really know many other eastern Orthodox people so my mother would like to do it. My husband thinks it's really weird and is very strongly opposed. He is a self proclaimed atheist so I don't understand why the choice matters at all.

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Roman Catholic here, our kid's godparents are definitely NOT our designated guardians should something happen to us. I have seen grandparents chosen as godparents, particularly when there aren't close friends or family with the same religion, but I would say that is more an exception. Usually aunts, uncles, and friends.

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Yes we definitely do not have any relationship between legal guardian and godparent. I never even considered that they would be related actually so this is good to know. For us, the godparent is the spiritual guide for the child. Since they are an adult when the child is an infant (and therefore should predecease the child), they are also their advocate and guardian in heaven as well.

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Godparents for non religious people can mean the guardians of your children if something were to happen to you. I grew up in a non-religious household and that’s how we used the term in our family. Not sure if others do as well? I understand it means something different in a religious capacity (more for like religious education and guidance?). Could it be a misunderstanding?

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Yea godparents technically are the spiritual/ religious guardian not necessarily have to be physical guardians but for some people could be the same. In modern day though, it’s mostly just a formality now

I would say it’s rare to have grandparents named as a godparent. Usually it’s someone not “family” in order to expand the child’s network and relationships. Grandparents are already going to be a central fixture in your child’s life, so I wouldn’t see much point in naming a grandparent as a godparent.

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I guess my question is, if you don’t really know any other eastern orthodox people is religion that important to you? Do you go to church? If not, maybe just skip the baptism entirely.

helpful

I suppose when most people hear eastern Orthodox, you assume I mean Greek. I am from one of the smaller churches, and our diocese "rents" space for religious events. The weekly services are in a different language.

Having said that, there is zero relationship between being religious and going to church. We do have divine liturgy, which is similar to mass, but for me, religion is something private. I have a dedicated space in my home with religious icons from my grandparents, and if I ever want to pray, I prefer to do it there. Organized or group religion has zero appeal to me, other than attending religious concerts, and I don't think that means I am not religious by any means.

My husband was aware of that long before we got married so it has always been understood that our children would have some religious elements in their upbringing. (He was also baptized. Same faith as me, just never went to church with his family since his maternal grandparents were Jewish.)

I’m Greek Orthodox. In my culture, usually it’s a non-sibling but someone you’d like to be/stay close with as your child grows I.e. cousin, family friend, etc. Siblings can also be fine though. As example, I am the godmother of one of my nephews, while my best friend is godmother of my son.

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For godparents, we selected family members we love who are not relationally as close to the baby as our siblings. We picked two of my husbands cousins that we have a great relationship with, who don’t plan to have kids of their own, and who we wanted to connect to our family at a deeper level since we have limited time together now that we are all over the country living our lives.

We separated god parents from guardianship as well. Our guardians will be people who are raising kids of a similar age and financially stable.

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Thanks all for the perspectives. We settled on asking his brother, and he's very excited :)

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Cont.

He is not opposed to baptizing in general, just doesn't want it to be my mom so I'm trying to gauge if it really is so strange to others as well.

As a non-Christian please excuse the naive question but is the godparent always the same as the person who would get custody of your kids if something happened to you and your husband (heaven forbid)?

Could that be where some of his hesitation comes from?

No, not necessarily. M

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