{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Looking for some support as my mother is about to start chemo next week. She relies on me for support and I am someone who has always struggled with anxiety myself (cont)", "post_id": "5ea82f06772229002260f10d", "reply_count": 4, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59d02db312fe2f0011e02215", "bowl_name": "Depression/Anxiety Talk" }

Looking for some support as my mother is about to start chemo next week. She relies on me for support and I am someone who has always struggled with anxiety myself (cont)

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

If this were me, I’d have to face having a conversation with my mom about not being able to be her sole support and how working through this and healing with a community of people, your family, would be the best option; instead of you shouldering all of this on your own.

like

I’d like her to also rely on support from other family members (her sisters), friends but she doesnt want to tell anyone about the cancer. She wants to hide inside while she loses her hair and recovers and that’s putting a lot of pressure on me. I need help

I think she does need to share. It’s ridiculous not to. One of my good friends who is 30 just got a really aggressive form of cancer. She did disclose to her whole community and uses the Caring Bridge site to keep everyone up to date so she doesn’t have to repeat the same details over and over to everyone. I don’t see how anyone could go through that wo lots of support from different people. People come out of the woodwork when you get sick like that. She’s had so many people support in different ways. If she just had her parents for example and no one else knew I think it would be impossibly hard. For example, she needed to move into an apartment w one level so she didn’t have to climb stairs and the friends who saw she needed help brought an army to help her move. These are people who you wouldn’t think would show up normally and might not help a friend move in a normal situation but showed up and brought others when their sick friend needed the support. That’s just not something her parents could have arranged. It’s wise to send out the call now. I would begin a convo w her asking deeper questions about why she doesn’t want to tell people. You need to get her to understand that sometimes life is about asking for and accepting help and being vulnerable and now is the time for her to learn that. Neither of you by yourselves can or should have to bear this alone. Tell her it’s essential for both of you to get through this to let more people into the circle and ask for help. You will need it and be grateful for it. These times often also bring more distant friends and family back closer and that can last after the cancer. It makes people more grateful for each other too. Tell your mom she needs to give her fam and friends an opportunity to be there for her too - I’m guessing most will want that.

Sending you love and support. Honestly, tell her that’s not fair to you. You NEED to share the burden with the rest of your family. I’ve been in a similar situation as well as another friend of mine. It helped me so much to share the pain and talk with family when my dad was in the hospital. My friend went through a traumatic event and told to keep it a secret from family members, eventually they died under the pressure and pain alone so they shared the news. Talk to your mom. It’s not fair to you what she is asking, even tho she has cancer

Related Posts

What type of gifts do you give for Mother’s Day?

like
like

Do any other firms have a policy that requires you to return to work for a certain period after paid parental leave, and if you choose to leave you are required to pay it back? If so, is there anyone who decided to leave before the end of that period? What happens if you can’t afford to pay it back?

helpfullike

Parents...when you/your SO decided to have a baby, what were some things you considered before deciding that you guys were ready? How did you prepare, and plan for this life changing blessing? 😀

like

Started taking prenatal vitamins , ubiquinol and vitamin D. Been doing this for a month to prep to get pregnant. Breaking out like crazy for 3 weeks now. Are these linked?

like

Is there an appropriate timing to tell the firm that you are pregnant?How many weeks along?

like

Accenture 🐠 what is the paternity leave policy? Having our second and leave looks like secondary gets 2 weeks but are we allowed to take primary once our wife goes back to work?

No shame in this brag moment: My baby brother is going going to be an SEC football player!!

like

One week into kindergarten, already scheduling my first PCR for a sick kid. Buckle up, I guess?

likehelpful

Serious question. What baby items are most expensive? (other than diapers, formula, college education, nanny.. Etc)

like

New dad here with a 10 week old. Wife is working extremely hard to take care of the baby and lately he's very fussy with her and but not me. He'll keep fussing, complaining and crying on her when he's tired and when she hands him to me he gets comfy and falls asleep in 10 mins. Its defeating for her and its killing me seeing how upset she is. She's amazing but she's getting it in her head that she's a bad mom. I'm hoping its just a phase... Anyone experience this? How long till your baby stopped favoring one parent do much? Any tips?

like

Not pregnant yet but curious how pregnancy impacts performance, if at all. If all goes to plan I’ll have my first trimester over busy season. Curious how that goes and if any slack is given if pregnancy symptoms are bad

like

Has anyone tried EMDR to deal with childhood traumatic experiences? I'm not talking about things like physical abuse etc. but due to separation from parents at a young age which was driven by circumstances and decisions parents made. Due to this, I don't feel much connection with my parents. It has impacted my romantic relationships and causes constant anxiety at work because I feel like a helpless child inside, lack confidence and self worth and fear failure. Appreciate any EMDR experiences.

like

Anyone ever developed brain fog while they were pregnant that hasn’t gone away after giving birth? My daughter just turned 2 and it’s been such a challenge feeling like my brain isn’t as sharp as it once was. This happens especially right before my period nowadays. Anyone have suggestions on how they cope or alleviate this?

like

Anyone ever used LegacyBox or simular digitizing services? Trying to pick best one for dad on Father's Day. Would choose Costco but that seems harder to gift

like

I’m a 1st year prob 1 teacher & I just found out I’m pregnant (due mid-June). Definitely NOT planned and VERY stressed nervous. It’s hard to be happy right now. Advice on telling my principal, etc?

like

5 months pregnant and my PROMO GETS ANNOUNCED TOMORROW!!! 🥳🍾💕 if you’re drinking this evening - drink an extra for me!!!

likeuplifting

Anyone know much about routers? My father in Leander has an incredibly fast Asus router, but his home is 7,000 sq ft and the signal completely dies when you go up the stairs to their mother in law suite where their tv is. Extenders don’t work well either. I suggested doing four Google mesh points but he wants to see if he can figure out with his current router. Anyone know how to set up an AiMesh router with Asus?

like

Has anyone figured out anything creative for a baby shower in a pandemic? Is it still okay to send out cute invites for a virtual one??

like

Anyone here work at Wayfair? What do you think of the child trafficking blow up happening right now? Search #wayfair hashtag on Twitter if you haven't heard. At this point, we only have Wayfair saying this is ridiculous, but obviously this can't be a coincidence...

like

Additional Posts

Anyone looking for experienced case partners? My go-to’s have given up (radio silence for pipeline). Interviewed with MBB in undergrad & trying again as a lateral, want to stay fresh. Please DM me if interested & have least 20 cases under belt - thanks & good luck everyone!

like

How much are the hourly rates for the seasonal contractors at the B4 firms? Especially in tax. Thanks

like

MBB? More like DPEK

Post Photo
likefunny

Been getting huge waves of not wanting to work because I know I’m only in it for the money. Except that doesn’t even feel worth it anymore. Just started a new project that isn’t interesting, but is chargeable. Need some advice from fellow fishes. Oh, to add on, I had a vacation planned for Santorini earlier in April, but was cancelled due to COVID. 😭

like

Oh hell no Microsoft teams will not get me in my car!

Post Photo
funnylike

Anyone know about work culture at Standard Chartered Bank (Singapore)? Good, bad, enh?

like

Finance undergrad + MBA. No tech background. Pure business consulting experience. Looking to do a Masters of Data Science to make the pivot (may or may not stay in consulting). Thoughts?

like

Hi! I have a few questions on the backdoor Roth in which I’ve done a bit of research online. When it comes tax time, will my 401k vendor (Merrill) give me the correct documents? I’ve just used turbo tax in the past but am worried of any documents I may be missing to adjust any tax. Also- when does the pro-rata rule come into play? I’m just nervous in the entire process as this is my first year doing this. TIA!!

like

Deloitte new hire - offer said eligible for 23% bonus - how realistic is it that it would get that high? Let’s assume I’m smart and hard working with a self-starter initiative taking mentality 😊

like

Total compensation for an in-house strategy gig? at a major tech company in LA. About 5 years of experience

Anyone looked at getting pregnant in a non-traditional way- How did you find a sperm bank you liked or have a convo with someone you know to be a donor?

like

whats the average salary for a staff or senior audit role in Dallas Texas??

like

If you could work remotely full time and live anywhere in the US where would you choose to live? (Assuming all visa hassles addresses around proximity to office etc)

like

Guys how will our work lives change in the mid-long term? Colleagues and partners talking more about a pref of WFH. I’m running a priority job fine remotely. Idea of this being perm though scares me!

like

I know we have a thread on this for MBB, but I was wondering if people could give some insight into any retention bonuses/raises/other perks like increased annual leave at their firm as a result of Covid. We got some extra holidays over Christmas and our bonus was paid regularly for last year, but nothing extra. The US bowls seem to be reporting large retention bonuses, so was wondering if UK is similar

like

How are most teachers plan on giving assessments to students who are remote learners? My school is everyday half-day for students (guardians) who chose to be in school. All other students are remote learners every day. That means I had classes with students who are physically there as student to are there through Google meets. I'm just trying to see what other teachers are doing to balance the two types of learners and how give fair assessments.....

like

How do you handle financial discussions with a gf that is sensitive about money and gets offended easily? My gf wants to move in with me but I'm not so sure she can live off her salary

like

Anyone get their comp info @ BDO? Trying to find out when it's coming out

like

Has anyone gotten hired pregnant? Curious of your stories.

like

Best planning strategies for Non-Qualified Deferred Comp lump sum distributions? Election for lump sum already taken

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal