Looking to gauge other people's opinions on flaking. Someone I know has flaked on me twice back to back - first time when there was a small gathering to celebrate me starting at the new job and second time brunch. The first time she did it she asked after the gathering started how long we were going to stay out and then i never heard back until late that night and she supposedly didn't see my text. Second time - we planned a Sunday brunch the day prior, (Continued in comments)

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Unprioritize them.

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I got to a point where I started matching other people’s energy. She is clearly not bothered and it is evident as she has repeated this sort of behavior. Or she does not prioritize you enough to make the effort. As mentioned above don’t make this person a priority at all.

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That was my thinking too, i'm annoyed that she didn't bother even reaching out to say her plans have changed so i could go on with my day. That's just basic respect

I had a friend like that, I would include her in all the invites, and make plans to accommodate her (like her schedule or her preference). She would become very non-committal immediately prior to the events after the planning process leading up to the events. And it’s always some BS excuses, like ‘I was tired and took a nap, but I meant to text you’ or conflicts that could’ve been avoided given the advance planning like ‘I think I might go visit my family this weekend’. I didn’t cut her out but I stopped making accommodations for her, if she comes, it’s fine, if not, that’s fine too.

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i hate people like that. I also can't stand when someone accepts an invite and doesn't show up. Had a couple other friends do it recently to me (actually for the same occasion this chick in question during her first offense). Both texted me hours later after not showing up. I will admit I was hurt, since those were my friends. This girl though - she was a friend of a friend i was asked to "be friends" with since she's new to the area. i tried

she said she'd text me but plan around noon. I never heard from her. Sure I could've texted but this was also sort of a test since it's happened before. I have no problem people canceling or changing plans if something came up or they weren't feeling it but just say so, don't waste my day, i would've planned my day/weekend differently. At this point i'm just thinking to cut out this person from my life since i don't know them well anyways. Am i being too harsh?

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I would have a conversation and say how you feel hurt when they don’t show up to plans and ask if there’s anything else going on - that way if they do have something difficult going on that they may not have felt comfortable sharing with you they can, but otherwise I just wouldn’t invite them. No need to waste energy on people who don’t reciprocate!

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Yeah definitely find another person to go with!

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Backing up what everyone else has said. This personally drives me up the wall and I learned to interpret it as they’re not really friends otherwise they would actually want to hang out, so I agree with the other replies here—just cut those losses. Also, while this may just be anecdotal evidence due to small sample size, amazingly I find it is exclusively women who do this shit. Zero issues with this with (non-dating) guys. Such a waste of everyone’s time, if you don’t want to hang out just say no. It’s not hard.

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I soooo agree with you! what's funny is she texted me yesterday (2 days later) saying she was sorry, she had to go into the office that day. and asked me if i was free this weekend to hangout hahahah umm, no. still working on a a response in my head.

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