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Just rent
We’ll have to agree to disagree. I think everyone knows that there are additional costs to buying. All the costs you’ve mentioned are true and valid. But you actually get something for that cost - ownership in an asset at the end of the tunnel, whereas you leave empty handed when you stop renting.
True, renting does provide you with flexibility. But ownership also provides additional flexibility and freedom. You have the freedom to do whatever you want with your living space because it is yours. You don’t have to ask a landlord if you get a dog, or want to paint your walls.
If you accept that most people will own a home eventually, then you must also admit that some of the arguments against owning doesn’t make sense. If you are going to own a home eventually, then you should expect to have an asset that’s worth significantly more in 30 years. You should view every dollar paid towards rent that doesn’t provide equity as throwing money away. And you should rush into buying to lock in a lower rate if you think rates will increase, if the finances make sense. If you can buy, but chose not to, that is a sub optimal financial decision.
If it’s possible to rent with housemates to share costs, consider that. Obviously your relationship with them matters a lot.
Another option is to buy a place that has room for you to rent to someone else and partially offset your mortgage and other expenses.
Housing market is pretty hot at the moment, you may end up paying more than the actual value of the house. I'd rent for a bit longer, find something cheaper, live a bit farther from Manhattan and you'll be golden.
I read 31M as $31 Million net worth