{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Made plans for my close non-lawyer friend to visit. Found out she is unvaccinated (hasn’t gotten around to it - she says). The handful I hangout with are vaccinated. Majority of my office is vaccinated - or required to wear mask entire day. Struggling to find the words to cancel plans until she’s vaccinated. She is sensitive. Any advice?", "post_id": "613f494023df35002586dc1d", "reply_count": 109, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "5da60c126e5f0d001f32f497", "bowl_name": "Women in Law", "feed_type": "bowl" }
null

Made plans for my close non-lawyer friend to visit. Found out she is unvaccinated (hasn’t gotten around to it - she says). The handful I hangout with are vaccinated. Majority of my office is vaccinated - or required to wear mask entire day. Struggling to find the words to cancel plans until she’s vaccinated. She is sensitive. Any advice?

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

I’m with you OP especially since I have children that cannot be vaccinated yet and close family members that are high risk. I only let people I know are vaccinated stay with us (close family) and keep rapid tests on hand if they have been traveling before letting them unmasked around the kids inside. And it’s not just Covid, when my kids were born I also asked people who wanted to visit to get whooping cough and flu shots before coming. I think you are perfectly in your right to request this courtesy of a guest coming to stay in your home.

I would tell her that you would love to see her but are limiting your exposure risk for prolonged contact to those that are vaccinated because of your concerns about catching and transmitting to vulnerable people around you (or yourself if higher risk/underlying conditions). If she doesn’t agree then make plans to postpone until the situation changes. If she’s hurt or shuns you, not such a great friend.

likehelpful

So, I would have a real and gentle conversation with her to ask really why she hasn’t gotten it because not having gotten around to it is kind of a bullshit excuse. Don’t be accusatory and don’t go in hard, but ask earnestly. Then be very real with her. I assume you don’t have an extra 10-14 days of vacation sitting around such that if you got exposed to/sick with Covid, you could just sit back and not worry about work. And tell her that. The delta variant is crazy. She is more likely to be an infectious carrier without the vaccine and with the variant, you can still get it, despite having the vaccine. I know at least 10 people who have gotten covid DESPITE having the vaccine because of the delta variant. Thankfully most of them just had flu and cold-like symptoms, but one of them had to go to the hospital (very briefly and is completely recovered now). Also point out that you’re worried about your friend too. That traveling makes her more susceptible to the vaccine and something like 98% of all covid deaths right now are amongst the unvaccinated. I would end it with the fact that you care very much about her and really want to spend time with her, but feel like you need to be safe for both of you.

Also, I don’t know where you live, so maybe this isn’t an issue, but NYC is requiring proof of vaccinations for indoor dining. More and more places are going to require proof of vaccination to allow access, so her not being vaccinated might mean you guys are barred from certain activities. Also, it puts every other person she is in contact with during the trip at risk and puts her unnecessarily at risk, unless she wears a mask 100% of the time, which I imagine isn’t really something she wants to do.

like
Recent IconRecent

JFC, this thread of “intelligent” women saying “get over it” is depressing. We are still in the midst of a global pandemic, and despite vaccination efforts, is still ravaging our communities because people think we should be over it. Hope none of you have a non-covid related emergency like appendicitis or a bad fall, you’ll likely be waiting a devastating amount of time in your local ER do to this pandemic NOT being over. Do you, OP. Be safe and encourage your friend to do the same.

likesmartupliftingfunny

Tell her it’s nonnegotiable. You respect her choice, but not in your house. A friend’s close relative just died. Wasn’t vaccinated. The people on my Facebook feed now getting serious Covid? Unvaccinated. We just had an office exposure. Unvaccinated. Everyone else including medically sensitive people was put at risk. Her feelings don’t matter more than your and your colleagues’ lives. If she doesn’t get that, not much of a friend.

like

Why are you struggling? Just say I only see vaccinated people in person.

like

AA2, just the unvaccinated parts 😉

I would just put it to her straight. “I was really looking forward to hanging out! Would you mind if we reschedule until after you are vaccinated? That would make me more comfortable”

like

No need to struggle. Just tell her you aren’t comfortable until she is vaccinated.

like

Cancel. Believe someone when they tell you who they are. The first time.

likefunny

Exactly, these types don’t believe in doctors. We can’t share the same reality. I also urged them to start believing in dentists too. 😷

like

Can you just ask her to get a covid test before she visits you?

likesmart

I tested negative and was positive 2 days later. And I was vaccinated!! Non-negotiable. Tell her not to come

like

Not worth it, you could end up harming someone who can’t get vaxxed. For most of us, that is morally reprehensible. For others, it’s their last concern but there are many people with personality disorders and lack empathy, they are not hiding their shortcomings because they are finding similar people to themselves and it’s validating.

likehelpful

No need to be sensitive - sorry only hanging with vaxxed people at this time, but I really miss you and can’t wait to hang out once we are both fully vaxxed.

likehelpful

I find it fascinating that certain people say trust the science and when someone actually sends a scientific study that shows they are wrong, says don’t trust the science. You do understand, I hope, that traditional vaccine’s are made from a dead virus the trick your system into creating antibodies (which is what you get from having the disease. These new Covid “vaccines” create a spike protein which recognizes the virus and keeps it from attaching. Not at all the same. You actually are more protected if you already have had Covid. There are virologists who state that it is these new Covid vaccines that are actually responsible for the variants we are seeing. However, I did end up getting vaxxed. I choose not to ostracize people who made a different decision. These vaccines are not a cure all. Please don’t say trust the science, when you don’t have a clue.

likesmart

What you’re saying is half correct. By making the spike protein, your body makes antibodies to the spike protein. The thought was if the virus mutates it’s spike protein that mutation would not be as infectious since that’s what helps the virus get into cells. But there was always and continues to be a chance that the virus would mutate and still be infectious. However, the part about people actually having the virus appears to be true though I’d like more data. If you think about it, it makes sense. Infected people were exposed to the full virus and thus their antibodies are based on many other protein sequences and not just the spike protein.

like

Reasons are for reasonable people. If she’s a reasonable person, then you can explain that you’re not comfortable hanging out with her until she’s vaccinated for XYZ reasons (you have a workplace requirement, you interact with unvaccinated people, you’re afraid for HER health if she travels unvaxxed, whatever). If she’s going to be unreasonable about it, you don’t need to explain why, just say that you’re happy to see her after she “gets around” to being vaxxed but will postpone until then.

like

I recently had to deal with this - I live in LA where some bars/restaurants are requiring proof of vax for entry. I played that up and told my friend to make sure she got her vax before she came bc otherwise we couldn’t go anywhere, and she got it!

likesmart

I can’t wait for this all to end. I hope everyone stays healthy and we all maintain our relationships through all this. No political intent here, just wishing for normal human interaction again.

like

I don’t see that happening, sadly.

like

I have a friend who wants to get together, we’ve been friends since first year of undergrad. She’s not vaccinated (says she wants to do more research before getting vaccinated). I think she’s an idiot for not being vaxxed. She’s traveled a lot recently, primarily on Amtrak, so she’s been exposed to more people than myself. I’ve suggested getting together once she gets vaxxed or when the world gets back to its “new normal.” I don’t think there’s any hard feelings and if there are, than well, it’s on her.

like

Why continue to be friends with someone you think is an idiot for not getting vaxxed? Genuinely curious…

I told my own mother she can’t see her grandkids because she isn’t vaccinated. Not an easy conversation, but you have to put your safety first. Stand your ground!

like

Just throwing it out there that 90% of people I know in my area right now who have recently been diagnosed with COVID are indeed vaccinated with most being vaccinated teachers who brought it home to their families. I’m vaccinated, my partner is not. We both can get and bring home COVID to the other but he runs a larger chance of ending up in the hospital. I agree with the people who recommend your friend getting a test and/or try to quarantine the best she can before hand. If you leave your house, I’m sure you’re interacting with a lot of other unvaccinated individuals unknowingly who are probably a lot less careful that your friend. Take a breath and enjoy some girl time.

like

Serious question for you LC2. My fiancé and I are both unvaccinated still. I have gone back and forth on whether I want to get the vaccine but he has remained adamant against it since the beginning, citing potentially dangerous side effects like stroke or heart attack even in young healthy people like us. He also thinks there is little to zero chance that even if we did get COVID we would have extremely mild symptoms because of our age and health status. Every time I speak with a friend or colleague who makes valid points about why the vaccine is worth the risk of potential side effects (i.e., not dying if you do end up being the one who has extremely bad symptoms), I discuss it with my fiancé and we end up having a debate about the conflicting data and opinions. Could you shed some light on why you are vaccinated and why your partner is not, how that affects your relationship, if at all, and you cope with that?

smart

You do realize vaccinated people are spreading covid too, right? If you have been vaccinated why are you concerned about whether she has been?

like

Love the anti-science comments that demand the freedom to make choices for themselves, yet also demand that they not be subject to the choices of someone else to not see them for their no-vax decision. Get a grip, take a position, and just stick to it. 🙄

like

You understand that you can still get COVID just as easily from your vaccinated friends as well right? You are taking the risk equally whether you are seeing someone who is vaccinated or unvaccinated as either person can be a carrier. Vaccination is a personal choice to protect your personal health as it only protects you from more severe symptoms, but doesn’t prevent you from spreading it to someone else.

like

It is my understanding that the COVID vaccine also interrupts chains of transmission. By being vaccinated you are less likely to carry the virus because the virus feeds off of ones immune vulnerabilities. Once vaccinated, those vulnerabilities are significantly diminished (in most, but not all cases). This would suggest that requesting that others also be vaccinated helps lower the risk of transmission.

like

You now suddenly have to work and need to raincheck. You will continue to have to raincheck until she tells you she is vaccinated.

like

Related Posts

Hello FB, Recent grad here: I recently found out that the boutique strategy firm I was signed with is rescinding my analyst offer and I feel a bit lost on how to rebound into the industry. Any tips/recommendations on how to squeeze my way into a good firm during COVID? I was a case coach at my college (confident in my interview skills) and have a strong background, I just need to know how I can get my foot in the door during COVID while not in on campus.. any advice helps. Thank you

like

Someone on my team mentioned a delta fast track promotion specifically for BCG but I can’t seem to find it - anyone have a link?

like

Anyone have experience setting up a COBRA insurance plan? Leaving to a smaller firm soon that has high medical insurance premiums, so was looking to keep the same medical coverage I currently have.

like

Signed up for a gym membership and told them I travel every week. Lady "ohh are you another Deloitte?" Umm yes, "why didn't you tell me, these fees are waived" ohh sorry and okay. Thanks Uncle D

like

Just found out this week that all the urgent cares in my area are completely closed to anyone but covid patients and covid testing. Where are those without covid supposed to get help anymore? Took me 2 and a half days to get help for a UTI....it's scary how we take things like urgent care being an easy option for granted

like

What job would you do if you weren't in healthcare?

like

Did anyone deliver at Texas Childrens Hospital pavilion for women? Need some advice about short term disability leave before due date. EY peave management team informed any pregnant women can take that leave if doctor approves but when I reached out to my nurse she said they would not provide confirmation as I dont have any pre existing conditions. It will be great if someone can advice on how to convince my doctor about it in my next visit.

like

25 yo, high achieving, health conscious—work at MBB 70+ hr weeks, just completed a half mara and am training for a full mara, and applying to b-school. When I go out with friends/on dates I like to let loose drink quite a lot. Around my family I don’t drink much…not sure why. But they drink a lot and basically have this view of me as a lightweight who has no vices and I always get picked on with family / family friends. They don’t believe me when I say I drink a lot with friends. What do I do?

like

How is BCG’s Aetna health insurance?

like

Hi Sharks, I am looking for a Job in IT sector. Bsc computers 2013 passed out. Worked for Non IT US health care process. Need your advises on career transition.

like

Anybody a bowler? Do you travel with your ball? I got used to bowling 4-5 nights a week and now I'm traveling again. I want to find local lanes while traveling but don't want to use house balls.

like

My partner has Irish citizenship and I’m American. We’ve talked about moving to Ireland. I have a background in healthcare analytics/data science. Anyone have experience relocating to Ireland and trying to find work in a corporate setting? Tips/observations?

like

1-800-Deloitte fixes everything! Call them if EMS crashes, you need to book travel, or you need relationship advice.

like

Data shows COVID-19 was WORSE where voters supported Trump the MOST. I wonder if Trump supporters and families who lost their lives to COVID-19 because, in allegiance to Trump, did not take the pandemic seriously (mocking masks, social distancing, etc) ... I wonder if Trump could’ve used their votes in the states where he narrowly lost.

like

Have a flight leaving around 6:30pm from T4 at JFK? How bad is the tsa precheck like at T4 at this time? Would it be smart to go to T2 to go through CLEAR and then take the shuttle to T4?

like

I am about to return to work after maternity leave. I have a 4 month old and a two year old. Our daycare is periodically closing due to COVID. We don’t have family nearby to help when daycare closes and I’ll be headed into busy season upon my return. I’m already on a reduced schedule. No one else I know is in my shoes in my group/office at EY. How have your families in similar situations dealt with this? I feel like I’ll be very unreliable as we head into the busy season.

like

Anyone know if we are allowed to take LOA for personal reasons? (Not related to health / maternity / paternity)

likehelpful

Getting together for a weekend with 7 other high school friends in Denver in early November. Looking at Westin downtown, Renaissance and Hyatt. Any recommendations for night life and hotel in Denver?

like

Are you required to be online and answer emails while on flight?

like

I’ve been looking to get out of freelancing for a while, but there haven’t been a lot of jobs at my level in my market - except for health work. Is it really that hard to go back afterwards?

like

Additional Posts

I’m a 2nd year tax senior at Big4. I’m put on an engagement acting as a manager. I never managed engagements before. Any suggestions/advices to be successful? Thank you !

like

Ladies ! Where do you buy your stylish work clothes?

likesmarthelpful

Going to buy 2 monitors but not sure if I should get 24 inch or 27 inch. Does anyone have the 27s and find them too big for having 2 right in front of you? Considering getting one of each but not sure if that would get annoying

like

I have 2 tickets to Matt and Kim at the Riv on 10/22...client wants me on location so can’t go. Anyone interested? PM me - selling tix at face value - $94.45 for both.

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal