Made plans for my close non-lawyer friend to visit. Found out she is unvaccinated (hasn’t gotten around to it - she says). The handful I hangout with are vaccinated. Majority of my office is vaccinated - or required to wear mask entire day. Struggling to find the words to cancel plans until she’s vaccinated. She is sensitive. Any advice?

I’m with you OP especially since I have children that cannot be vaccinated yet and close family members that are high risk. I only let people I know are vaccinated stay with us (close family) and keep rapid tests on hand if they have been traveling before letting them unmasked around the kids inside. And it’s not just Covid, when my kids were born I also asked people who wanted to visit to get whooping cough and flu shots before coming. I think you are perfectly in your right to request this courtesy of a guest coming to stay in your home.

I would tell her that you would love to see her but are limiting your exposure risk for prolonged contact to those that are vaccinated because of your concerns about catching and transmitting to vulnerable people around you (or yourself if higher risk/underlying conditions). If she doesn’t agree then make plans to postpone until the situation changes. If she’s hurt or shuns you, not such a great friend.

So, I would have a real and gentle conversation with her to ask really why she hasn’t gotten it because not having gotten around to it is kind of a bullshit excuse. Don’t be accusatory and don’t go in hard, but ask earnestly. Then be very real with her. I assume you don’t have an extra 10-14 days of vacation sitting around such that if you got exposed to/sick with Covid, you could just sit back and not worry about work. And tell her that. The delta variant is crazy. She is more likely to be an infectious carrier without the vaccine and with the variant, you can still get it, despite having the vaccine. I know at least 10 people who have gotten covid DESPITE having the vaccine because of the delta variant. Thankfully most of them just had flu and cold-like symptoms, but one of them had to go to the hospital (very briefly and is completely recovered now). Also point out that you’re worried about your friend too. That traveling makes her more susceptible to the vaccine and something like 98% of all covid deaths right now are amongst the unvaccinated. I would end it with the fact that you care very much about her and really want to spend time with her, but feel like you need to be safe for both of you.

Also, I don’t know where you live, so maybe this isn’t an issue, but NYC is requiring proof of vaccinations for indoor dining. More and more places are going to require proof of vaccination to allow access, so her not being vaccinated might mean you guys are barred from certain activities. Also, it puts every other person she is in contact with during the trip at risk and puts her unnecessarily at risk, unless she wears a mask 100% of the time, which I imagine isn’t really something she wants to do.

JFC, this thread of “intelligent” women saying “get over it” is depressing. We are still in the midst of a global pandemic, and despite vaccination efforts, is still ravaging our communities because people think we should be over it. Hope none of you have a non-covid related emergency like appendicitis or a bad fall, you’ll likely be waiting a devastating amount of time in your local ER do to this pandemic NOT being over. Do you, OP. Be safe and encourage your friend to do the same.

Why are you struggling? Just say I only see vaccinated people in person.

I would just put it to her straight. “I was really looking forward to hanging out! Would you mind if we reschedule until after you are vaccinated? That would make me more comfortable”

No need to struggle. Just tell her you aren’t comfortable until she is vaccinated.

Cancel. Believe someone when they tell you who they are. The first time.

Can you just ask her to get a covid test before she visits you?

Not worth it, you could end up harming someone who can’t get vaxxed. For most of us, that is morally reprehensible. For others, it’s their last concern but there are many people with personality disorders and lack empathy, they are not hiding their shortcomings because they are finding similar people to themselves and it’s validating.

No need to be sensitive - sorry only hanging with vaxxed people at this time, but I really miss you and can’t wait to hang out once we are both fully vaxxed.

I find it fascinating that certain people say trust the science and when someone actually sends a scientific study that shows they are wrong, says don’t trust the science. You do understand, I hope, that traditional vaccine’s are made from a dead virus the trick your system into creating antibodies (which is what you get from having the disease. These new Covid “vaccines” create a spike protein which recognizes the virus and keeps it from attaching. Not at all the same. You actually are more protected if you already have had Covid. There are virologists who state that it is these new Covid vaccines that are actually responsible for the variants we are seeing. However, I did end up getting vaxxed. I choose not to ostracize people who made a different decision. These vaccines are not a cure all. Please don’t say trust the science, when you don’t have a clue.

Reasons are for reasonable people. If she’s a reasonable person, then you can explain that you’re not comfortable hanging out with her until she’s vaccinated for XYZ reasons (you have a workplace requirement, you interact with unvaccinated people, you’re afraid for HER health if she travels unvaxxed, whatever). If she’s going to be unreasonable about it, you don’t need to explain why, just say that you’re happy to see her after she “gets around” to being vaxxed but will postpone until then.

I recently had to deal with this - I live in LA where some bars/restaurants are requiring proof of vax for entry. I played that up and told my friend to make sure she got her vax before she came bc otherwise we couldn’t go anywhere, and she got it!

I can’t wait for this all to end. I hope everyone stays healthy and we all maintain our relationships through all this. No political intent here, just wishing for normal human interaction again.

I have a friend who wants to get together, we’ve been friends since first year of undergrad. She’s not vaccinated (says she wants to do more research before getting vaccinated). I think she’s an idiot for not being vaxxed. She’s traveled a lot recently, primarily on Amtrak, so she’s been exposed to more people than myself. I’ve suggested getting together once she gets vaxxed or when the world gets back to its “new normal.” I don’t think there’s any hard feelings and if there are, than well, it’s on her.

I told my own mother she can’t see her grandkids because she isn’t vaccinated. Not an easy conversation, but you have to put your safety first. Stand your ground!

Just throwing it out there that 90% of people I know in my area right now who have recently been diagnosed with COVID are indeed vaccinated with most being vaccinated teachers who brought it home to their families. I’m vaccinated, my partner is not. We both can get and bring home COVID to the other but he runs a larger chance of ending up in the hospital. I agree with the people who recommend your friend getting a test and/or try to quarantine the best she can before hand. If you leave your house, I’m sure you’re interacting with a lot of other unvaccinated individuals unknowingly who are probably a lot less careful that your friend. Take a breath and enjoy some girl time.

You do realize vaccinated people are spreading covid too, right? If you have been vaccinated why are you concerned about whether she has been?

You understand that you can still get COVID just as easily from your vaccinated friends as well right? You are taking the risk equally whether you are seeing someone who is vaccinated or unvaccinated as either person can be a carrier. Vaccination is a personal choice to protect your personal health as it only protects you from more severe symptoms, but doesn’t prevent you from spreading it to someone else.

You now suddenly have to work and need to raincheck. You will continue to have to raincheck until she tells you she is vaccinated.