{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Male fish, I’m hoping to get your perspective here. I’ve been chatting with a guy from a dating app for about a month now. We used to text pretty frequently in the beginning but since our first zoom date, the texts are now maybe 3 times per day at most. (Continued in comments)", "post_id": "5ee100bab49ff40020e7b88e", "reply_count": 31, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

Male fish, I’m hoping to get your perspective here. I’ve been chatting with a guy from a dating app for about a month now. We used to text pretty frequently in the beginning but since our first zoom date, the texts are now maybe 3 times per day at most. (Continued in comments)

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The fact that you had follow up zoom dates is a good sign. I know it sounds cliché, but my dating life improved once I quit worrying about am I texting too much/is he texting too little/why didn't we hang out this weekend/etc. I just took things as they came, whether we continued beyond small talk and went on an actual date or not. ~6 months later I met my [now] husband and there was none of that "worry" I used to have. I've often thought if it was because we didn't meet on a dating app.

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I’m a woman so not exactly the perspective you asked for but I think 3 texts a day is pretty good for this stage. It’s much better than some men I know. I’d be more concerned if you reach out and he ignores you or something like that. Also I would echo what some people already said. Act aloof and maybe go a day or two without initiating conversation with him at all. Im usually not the one to text a bunch or initiate regular conversation throughout the day in the beginning. Even once we’ve gone out a few times and if I like the guy I try to consciously remind myself to play it cool and not text too much. If they are into you this leaves them wondering if the feeling is mutual and makes them maintain that effort to communicate with you. If they aren’t into you then it’ll fade out and at least you won’t have wasted too much time or energy.

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You should add two more guys to the rotation. Then it’s 9 texts a day.

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OP keep in mind the fact he’s not acting thirsty may be why you’re more interested in him than others. Mirror that.

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You thinking too much Just go with the flow.

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3 texts a day after virtual dates seems like a good number to me — keeping in touch while not being too desperate. But overall, I wouldn’t think too much into it and just see how things go when you meet in person.

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Agree - also seems like a good number considering we are all going stir crazy at home, stressed about work and other life stuff, and the world is basically falling apart haha

You haven’t even met yet. What could you possibly talk about that much? Send nudes if you want more traffic

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I wouldn't worry. 3x texts a day is actually pretty decent haha. I'm a dude, and I find it exhausting to continually text about small talk. Once the "chase" is over, I tend to text to make plans to hangout in real life.

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It’s just hard to keep up the momentum sometimes. And maybe he doesn’t want to exhaust the conversation before you meet in person. No red flags in my eyes

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Tbh, he probably might not be that interested or is losing interest. Perhaps he’s one of those dudes who once gets to date you he kinda loses the thrill of the chase which yeah is kinda lame but a possibility. Also, some dudes just wanna text less after a while if they feel comfortable or are busy lol also not a great thing if they are “comfortable” means they’ll probably suck at being romantic too

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texting all day without hanging out gets boring

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I think if you see this thing as potentially a longer term thing, eg something that won’t burn out in a couple weeks then that’s a good number of texts. You can’t text all day because it becomes less special, especially before you’ve met. In my opinion at least.

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Male fish here. This thread is making me realize I may be texting waaay too little. I thought once a day was smothering haha

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Fire off the occasional IG meme.

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Who initiates the texts ? Who was initiating before ? If he always responds but doesn’t initiate you then he may be breadcrumbing you. Be careful - he may just be busy. Last week was such a shitshow of a week that it transcended into our personal lives. If you’re meeting in two weeks, then I would try and be flirty and fun until you meet and then see how the date goes. It’s a weird time to be dating. At least now we have options to go on dates and moving closer to normalcy.

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Before it was just kind of one continuous conversation that started with the initial message coming from him on the app. One of us may not reply for 12+ hours but it was always in response to the last message. After the last zoom, I initiated the texting after 3 days of no contact and he took almost 24 hours to respond... Quarantine has got me overthinking every little thing 🥴

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I'm a female. I want to suggest you to directly ask him if he is still interested in you. I did that, now he is my husband. The reason he told me at that time was that he doesn't like texting but he is very interestedin me. So I had to initiate the conversation on text and then we wouldl chat for a long time. Just a lazy texting guy.

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Wow thats a lot. 3 times a day?!? What is this guy unemployed or something? I’d drop him. He’s probably not turning comments fast enough... no way he gets promoted.

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That^. It’s an off put

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I’m guilty of this. It’s generally because I get worried that the more we talk before actually meeting, the harder it will be to let the person down if we meet and I’m just not feeling it.

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Zoom dates , lol

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We’ve done 3 zoom dates and are planning to meet in person in about two weeks. So far, the dates have been fun and conversation has been easy. I’m not someone who needs to be in constant contact with the other but I’m wondering why there has been such a drastic drop off in communication? It makes me second guess that maybe the zoom dates aren’t going as well as I think and that he’s not that interested. What are your thoughts?

Maybe you have different communication needs? Ever considered a FIRO-B? It was fun when my SO and I took it.

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