{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Many of my my friends have trust funds, zero debt, parents pay their rent, even 6-figure settlements from their childhood. I don’t know how I am ever supposed to catch up to them financially; it feels like I am destined to always be 10 steps behind", "post_id": "60119abc97d78d00200f6c10", "reply_count": 95, "vote_count": 37, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Many of my my friends have trust funds, zero debt, parents pay their rent, even 6-figure settlements from their childhood. I don’t know how I am ever supposed to catch up to them financially; it feels like I am destined to always be 10 steps behind

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One of the best sayings I’ve heard when growing up was, “never look above you in wealth, always look below”. What it means is everything that comes across your way you take as a blessing. That student loan was an opportunity towards education that millions wished they could have. A car, new or used, is a car you’re comfortable in. Someone who can afford a bike wished they had. A house, rented or owned, is a roof over your head without the stress of knowing where you will sleep tonight. I grew up not too well off. But I was blessed to have the basics in life...the basics that some consider luxury. Today you’re wondering “how do I catch up?” To many... you already have and you just don’t know it yet. You got this homie :)

likesmart

Comparison is a thief of joy my friend. Trust me because I used to be in your shoes feeling all the anger and jealousy toward the privileged people. Believe it or not, you may never catch up because of the head start those people have been given. You can continue chasing and be endlessly worn out. When I crossed my 100K net work last year, I felt so proud ... until my “friend” said his new company went public and he essentially made like maybe half a million on top of another half million from his previous company just a few years prior. The system is designed to benefit those with a head start and help in life. Unless you play it your own way by focusing on what you have and reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, you will always lose.

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why do you need to “catch up” to them ...?

likeupliftingsmarthelpfulfunny

MK1, I have a similar background except for even applying to an Ivy League school - I considered it too out of reach and aspirations were complicated by hidden disability. I’m comfortable now—not private jet level—but am concerned about instilling character and work ethic in my children. Already I don’t see that hunger and drive. Parenting is scary. The weight of responsibility for who these tiny humans become is numbing at times.

I’m 200k in debt and one of my best friends is same age and already at 2MM net worth. However I am a lot more attractive, and I can get the ladies a lot easier than he can. So there’s that.

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"Student debt." We can see through the lies. Everyone knows it's Avocado debt. Classic millennial

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The cure for Envy is Gratitude. Look at all the amazing things you have and that you’ve accomplished. Someone else will always be better, faster, smarter, stronger, younger, more attractive, and have newer and shinier toys. Once you can be happy for your friends and their fortune, you can be happy with yourself. When another person wins it doesn’t mean that I’ve lost; I only lose if I fail to learn anything.

likeupliftingsmart

And the other way too: once you're happy with what you've got, you can be happy for others for what they've got

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Comparison is the thief of joy, with that mindset of comparing you will never be happy

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You are. That’s capitalism. Theoretically you could get lucky (or they could be unlucky) and catch up or even surpass them but the reality of compounded interest is people born with money are going to be way ahead of those that weren’t.

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Understood. Yes I think we likely would align. And I agree, I think many of the policies could impact new money and old money equally. But they can be effectively tailored to target a level of wealth that can only be achieved across multiple generations. And additionally, the impact on that level of wealth (whether new or old) would not change anyone's ability to elevate their family. Thanks for the apology, going to assume positive intent on your end and enjoy a civil end to this discussion. Enjoy the weekend!

You won’t catch up. It’s generational wealth. However, if you play your cards right and they don’t, you can make your sure that your kids inherit more than theirs.

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“Parents pay their rent...” You may not realize this yet, but you have already surpassed them in more important ways. There’s no need to be envious of folks who have never truly needed to learn how to make their own bread.

likeuplifting

You're also better off than probably close to 99% of the world (even more of the world at your specific age group). It's commom to focus on what we don't have, but it's a recipe for unhappiness. It's not about being biased towards the positive: it's simply about weighing the evidence in front of you fairly (as opposed to over indexing on the small things you don't have).

likesmarthelpful

Then compare yourself to people who started with a similar background as you. It’s a lot easier.

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^ THIS. only compare against where you were

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If you didn’t have that kind of backing, and still made it to where you are, then you should be happier. Not everyone makes it without that kinda backing.

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I don’t have a trust fund. But I make a lot more money than most of my friends. Sometimes more than 10x as much. At some basic level, they know this - especially my closest friends. But I sure as hell don’t want them to feel inferior or lacking in some way for it, so I try to be cautious about how I talk about things we do or buy or have. If your rich friends don’t behave that way, find better friends.

likesmart

Stop self pity and stop comparing...it’s kinda hard when you are surrounded with friends of such kind but work on improving yourself!

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Comparison is the thief of joy. Only compare yourself against the goals you set.

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You might want to broaden your friend circle to include all types of people. It will make you more interesting and probably happier.

likesmart

Focus on the next generation. A few generations go my family was not much of anything in terms socioeconomic status. But each successive generation has worked hard to push the next one a little higher up the ladder. Don't compare just try to do your best for yourself and future generations of your family.

likesmart

If they’re being flashy or obnoxious about it, then you should find new friends whose values and “financial maturity” are more in line with yours. There’s no point in indulging a crew of brats who make you feel left out. If that’s not the case, then don’t worry about it. Focus on what made your friendship great in the first place, whether it’s a shared hobby, experience, or viewpoint in life. And don’t forget to celebrate the fact that you are able to hold your own financially in a world that’s not always the most forgiving!

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GME 🚀

likehelpfulfunny

If you think that’s bad, Google Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and some other billionaires, how are you ever going to catch up to them?

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For starters

What do you mean by settlements?

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