{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Marriage or promotion 😞 I’m on track to make partner at my company. Due to the audit services we sell, we have to disclose all financial relationships, including those of our SOs. I’m engaged to a private investor, and there is no way he is going to disclose/sell investments because my company tells him to (I don’t blame him; I wouldn’t do this, in his position, either). This means I have to quit if I want to marry him 😞 Anyone else experience this kind of compromise / challenge? Any advice?", "post_id": "61a93f12da54db00357f8d30", "reply_count": 57, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Marriage or promotion 😞 I’m on track to make partner at my company. Due to the audit services we sell, we have to disclose all financial relationships, including those of our SOs. I’m engaged to a private investor, and there is no way he is going to disclose/sell investments because my company tells him to (I don’t blame him; I wouldn’t do this, in his position, either). This means I have to quit if I want to marry him 😞 Anyone else experience this kind of compromise / challenge? Any advice?

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Agree with all the comments about checking with Deloitte for more information. Also here to say that it’s disappointing to hear the stories of SOs not being understanding of the need to report investments. It’s not like we enjoy doing it. My husband isn’t a fan of the process, but he would never imply that I should quit my job or not get married because of it. Consulting is a lucrative career, so don’t jump to quit until you have all the facts and an honest conversation with your SO.

helpful

Yeah. I’m sure there are great opportunities out there. I have had the mind set, for so long, to be a Partner at my company, and that is the most difficult thing to adjust to

Does he disclose the holdings to you? If so, you can do a search in DESK and see how big of a problem you have. If he is in funds, he can probably find many acceptable equivalents. For direct stock investments it’s more tricky as you can’t find exact replacements. You can do a ‘mock’ 6 months and approach it as if you were married. See how it works. In any case, I’d strongly recommend making partner first before you change jobs or decide to prioritize him ahead of your promotion. Once you are a partner you can assess, explore waivers, and if not - move jobs from a partner position. I am a deloitte principal in consulting. My husband is a heavy investor. Waited to become partner before getting married and combining financials. He had to sell some stuff, we got some waivers. Turned out it’s onerous but workable. Married 12 years. Marriage entails many compromises. Good luck!

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FYI, at Deloitte, it’s not just legal spouses. It’s also ‘spousal-equivalents’. So even if you decide to not get married but live together or do other things that people often do in marriage like combine finances. If you’re already living together, you’re meant to be reporting. Talk to someone from Independence/tracking and trading. They’re very helpful and have all these questions before.

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So no one at all of Deloitte is married to a private investor? Seems hard to believe

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This rule applies to any partner at any public accounting firm

My partner and I both own stocks in restricted entities, but for me (in consulting) that only becomes an issue if you are actually consulting for that company. If you say “no” you are not consulting for that restricted entity then the self-clear is successful. I suppose you would just have to make sure that you don’t consult with anything restricted to be safe.

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Not true. You can be located in a state and be forced to sell out of that position. Regardless if you are consulting or not for that company.

I’m sure you’re not the first to be in this situation. Can you ask the independence team how to navigate? I’m no longer in audit, but is the reporting to the best of your knowledge?

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Yeah, I’m going to quit before we get engaged. I’m honestly not even mad/torn about it because I fundamentally disagree with the principle that consultants are subject to audit restrictions even though I’ve never even spoken with an auditor at this company. I comply because I have to, but my boyfriend is in PE (and his firm IS an audit client, double the fun!) and I’m just not dealing with it.

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It is super invasive feeling.

I mean if this is marriage, arguably one of the most important decisions in life, it may be worthwhile to seek advice from experts like Therapists and attorneys.

likesmart

This is not a question for a therapist, in my opinion. A tax attorney or someone in the know at her firm, yes.

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You could look into MD rules or a new job

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Could you hold a religious-only ceremony and stay civilly separate? If you're living together, you're already meant to be reporting his assets as he's a domestic partner

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Deloitte doesn’t let it go. Same rules.

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Following! I want to move in with my SO this summer and he is very against having to tell pwc every company he is financially tied to. Biggest fear is having to choose between him and my job 😭 causing so much stress for me.

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New job.

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This might not be of interest to you but - if you move internal at Deloitte you’re no longer subjected to the same independence requirements. You could still make MD but not Partner.

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Are you sure that the firm will ask your partner to sell or relinquish investments? That seems odd. Since you’re not married yet I feel like no harm no foul? Disclosing is one thing, but your firm shouldn’t have that much control

AD1 - you clearly don’t work for an audit firm. They absolutely can and will tell you to sell your holdings, and it doesn’t matter if you’re married just living together is enough of a requirement

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Oooffff. I agree I’d first meet with the proper Tax attorneys/internal teams to understand impact. Which of you has more earning potential? If you are planning to combine assets when married you could look at it through the lense of who’s career provides the best income and the other person adjusts by either selling investments or you looking for another role.

He is independently wealthy after being one of the first employees at a major startup. It’s a joke for me to even suggest that he discloses his assets to my company. I’m making peanuts in comparison, but I do like my job and have worked hard to make it this far. It’s a frustrating situation that regulations have put us into

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I guess it’s cost/benefit. What makes more money- your job, or his investments? It’s a shame that the choice needs to be made, but apparently it is a legality. There are many other jobs out there where this would not be an issue, ever. Like almost all other jobs. In some ways, I wish my husband had such great Investments that this would even be an issue. Good luck!

OP that’s a super important point…choosing between a man and your own financial independence shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t know what line of work you’re in, but could you look into MD/partnership at Accenture or a boutique that doesn’t provide audit services?

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Consider going to an MBB!

If you are engaged and or living together you should already be declaring him/her as your significant other.

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