Married for 4 years and trying to have a baby for over a year now.. Going to India next week and am nervous on how to handle all the questions from inquisitive relatives and in laws.. Any advise??

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Tell them you are deliberating your decision to have a child with your spouse and that you are planning finances and such. Inform them that childcare costs are significantly higher in the US. Assure them that you want to have a child and will when the time is right. This is of course if you do not trust the person enough to give them the truth. If I may ask, have you been working actively with your doctors? What do they say?

likesmarthelpful

Thanks D1. Your response certainly is helpful.. it's just practical and diplomatic

You: do you know noneya? Relatives : what’s Noneya You: Noneya damn business

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Tell the in laws the problem is with their child 😀

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30F married 7 years been trying on and off for 6. When I went to Pakistan I was bombarded pretty heavily and I always just said, whenever God wills it to happen it will. Neither you nor I nor anyone has a say in the matter. Usually most ppl stopped after that but if some aunties got really annoying saying things like, if you don't want it to happen then what does it matter what God wills? Or this generation just wants to do things their way. I always just relied kindly that that's not the case, sometimes you want things really badly for yourself but the timing isn't in your control. Other times I just rolled my eyes and walked away 🤷🏽‍♀️ Stay strong. No one knows how terrible it feels to be reminded of your depravity of something that is so integral to you, but you don't need to answer anyone. You don't owe them anything.

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You are young (not judging you based on your age) you will be fine don’t worry.. just say in process will let you know when we pass the exam successfully... 😂 I and my wife had our daughter (2.5 year now) when she was 32 after almost 5 years of marriage...one thing to try to get more accurate result is keep a track of fertile period ( speaking from experience and fact, again not pointing anything just a practical/scientific reason, had success in first 2-3 attempts) there are cheap strip tests available over the counter... it makes it easy and less stressful for girls just saying my wife used to get tensed (that doesn’t mean in-laws pressurized her).. I was born when my mother was 35

likehelpful

Don’t display any anxiety or stress towards not having baby yet as desi aunties would typically feed off from pain points like this. Instead, be happy and carefree, which will create an anchor in their mind of how come she is so happy and be haunted by your happiness for weeks to come. 😁😁

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My mom is already telling me about seeing doctors in India but I'm just not comfortable doing that in India for some reason.. Don't wanna involve more people than I need to

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Don’t do anything you are not comfortable with. Just tell her you have it covered here. Not useful when you are there only for a short duration and cannot continue treatment (if u need one that is)

M/F and age?

F 30..

Have been working with the doctors here.. No major cause identified yet for me or my husband.. Trying certain medication but no luck yet.

Ok, then you will know the real deal. Although I hope it is nothing. 😁

OP - I’m not a doctor but if fertility tests are normal then you should relax.. there are more options now.. one of my childhood friend had issues getting pregnant but she has lot of other problems (asthma, thyroids, kidney stone etc).. she was seeing a doctor and I just met her over thanksgiving when she broke the news... if you want reference here in US let me know.. my friend is out of Florida

Just say you're trying. Conception in humans is a little weird. Some try for 2-3 years before succeeding while an unfortunate victim of rape becomes pregnant after the heinous act etc

My typical answer would be.. aap aaa rahe ho sambhalne day to day stuff? Aap ki khushi ke liye Aapka wahan stay is on us

We didn’t plan our kid until 6 years after our marriage & we least bothered about family & relatives questioning us, believe me our life went smooth when always said to ourselves WE DONT CARE......

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