Married/engaged 🐠: My BF and I are starting to talk about our future together, and I realized I have 0 opinions about engagement rings. What are your recommendations for research/ring 101?

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If you don't care. Don't get one.
Just do the wedding bands.
Spend the money together on stuff you do care about - where you can make experiences together, memories together. The stuff that's important. My fiancée still insisted on getting me
Something so my stipulations were less than 1k and not a diamond. We've spent our money on the life we build together.

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Are you dead set on a mined stone? You can get a stunning ring on Diamond Nexus that's made in a lab. Still beautiful and high quality just cheaper. You can go for bigger stone! They also have a ton of styles and options if you just want to look and see what you like. They sort by shape, color and style

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My ring is moissanite and strangers constantly stop me to ask me about it. Google Rosados Box on Etsy - Kimberly ring

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My boyfriend and I are spending 15k on mine, and that makes me happy.. so I'd say do what's important to you. I also would go to a shop and look at all sorts of different designs so you have an idea of what you like. What I liked in person was totally different than what I saw online. Then you can either pick it out directly or custom design. Any jewelers at a ring store can give you a diamond education and tell you what is a reasonable or recommend range for color, cut, clarity etc.. the safe zone is roughly H in color and SL1 in clarity

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I know a whole sale jeweler who can make you any ring you want if you get him a picture of each angle, which most websites have. Since he makes them whole sale instead of retail it will be cheaper than going into the store! If you’re interested let me know!

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I honestly have no idea where to even start. I’m not set on anything.

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Kisha - great suggestion! Mine is lab-made and no one would ever tell the difference. It looks exactly like a $25K Tiffany ring, but instead of fearing for my life when I wear it, instead I can remember the amazing wedding we had because we had the cash to afford it đŸ€—

Accenture - make sure you know the difference between the weight and feel of the various metals. I was so hung up on platinum, but never realized how freaking heavy it is. I would have gone with a lightweight rose gold had I known.

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Love BCG3’s answer! I had no opinions either- when my partner and I talked about engagement rings, I made it clear it wasn’t important to me and he shouldn’t go overboard. He surprised me with a beautiful ring that I’m happy with , most of all because it was something that he picked out himself which warms my ❀

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Anyone curious about the wholesale jeweler, call 212-575-2183 and ask for Mark Baum at Alanar. Tell him Alexx referee you He can help and he is really pleasant to work with!

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Ah! Wedding ring 101! Exactly what I needed! Also, thanks for the Diamond Nexus tip. Even the most expensive ring is pretty affordable.

I’d also recommend thinking about the jewelry you currently enjoy wearing. I had my heart set on a vintage style engagement ring. While trying them on, they never looked right On a whim, my husband suggested I try on a plain emerald cut diamond which I loved. He had noticed my favorite pre-engagement ring was a simple emerald cut ring. Still love my ring. I sometimes wish I had gone smaller when I’m walking alone in an unfamiliar city or when I forget to put my ring on in the morning and leave it in the hotel room. P.S. look into a personal articles insurance policy post purchase

Look online for ideas and your budget. If you have an intergem show that hits your city - stop in and check it out. Basically a traveling jewelry show where people have little overhead and a lot of wholesale stuff. We bought the stone separate and had our rings custom made to our designs - all for a lot less money than going retail. Just bring cash and know everything is negotiable.

I used to be like you. Then, I saw a ring on some woman’s finger and thought “oh dear god, hideous!!” Which lead me to think - maybe I can narrow down based on my dislikes? I’ve now got my band and setting down pat, and have decided I want a white sapphire instead of a diamond. Took some time, but why not take a reverse approach?

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