Massive mom guilt for working a 45-50 hour work week and having our nanny spend more time with my daughter than me. I know if I was a sahm I would be impatient and miserable but I just feel so sad to know her days are spent without me there/ bonding more closely with someone else (who is absolutely lovely). Anyone else feel the same way or have any tips?

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Quality over quantity. Weekends are all about them and we have a great time. This weekend we went to 3 pumpkin patches and made great memories. They are 2 and 3 and already know to ask “is it the weekend yet?” 😂

I am also able to carve out ~5-8pm on weeknight for them and then I do a little work/chores after they go to bed if I need to.

likeuplifting

For me it was a decision to temporarily scale back to part time in order to only have 3 days/week away from my kids. My priorities completely changed and I know I can always make more money or refocus my career, but can’t get back missed time with my kids when they’re so young.

Suggest reading Work, Pause, Thrive and considering your options! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

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Hope you enjoy the book.

For how I found PT: I was very candid when networking - it was actually a company who had formerly made me a job offer in 2018 that I have numerous relationships with (ppl who can speak to my work ethic). The hiring director and I kept in touch and in 2020 I let him know I was leaving my current company to pursue part time options - and sure enough he needed help, we agreed to terms and its worked great! Definitely have to set clear boundaries but I feel such better balance with kids/home/work.

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I know it’s hard with guilt and sometimes I felt the same way when mine were small as I was a new partner and my husband and I worked a lot. But I realized fairly quickly that no matter how awesome our nannies were, there was never once a time where my kids bonded more closely with the nanny than me. Kids know their mommy! I prioritized being there as much as possible for nighttime routines, dinner, wake-up, and weekend special time and had my Nannies help with laundry, cooking and play date organizing etc. I outsourced cleaning so I could maximize quality time with my kids and I made sure we had our own special routines and activities. They are now teenagers and we are super close. We still have a nanny/household manager to help out around the house and be a driver but I do all the homework support, mental/emotional, and related important stuff with my kids.

likehelpful

It is so hard. I have a four-year-old and a one-year-old, and definitely feel a lot of guilt sending them to daycare every day. I need to have a professional career for myself, which overall makes me a better mom because I am a happier person, but it is still hard spending the time away from my kids.

I try very hard to stop working when they get home from daycare around 515pm until they go to bed, even if I have to get back online in the evenings to finish things up. We also maximize our time together on the weekend.

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Amen. Heartbreaking. The only way is to buy more time. Whether that's outsourcing tasks, scaling back at work, or just letting the house go. I've done everything from take a remote role, build a capsule wardrobe so I take 2 seconds to get dressed, got a weekly cleaning service, full time nanny, and just floating by at work, and I still don't have enough time with baby. It's just so hard because it feels so unnatural to grind away and be away from Baby.

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