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Should I use my 401k to buy my first house?
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Deloitte. Does anyone still play Mini Deloitte?
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All of the ones you stated. HSA first if available to you and your family. Then Roth IRA (regular or backdoor depending on your income). If you already have traditional pre-tax funds in IRA, I advise you to roll those into your/your wife's 401k so you are able to do backdoor Roth's. I assume you plan to earn above the income limits at some point.
Roth IRA comes before 401k