Men of fishbowl, I need your advice! (continued)
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Since you are the gf you need to find a healthy balance. You should take actions to make the bf feel secure and comfortable in the relationship while also having your own friends regardless of their gender. If your bf has real reasons why that specific guy he does not like or trust and that specific guy has overly flirted (regardless of if you did anything) I would say say no to your friend and side with your bf. But if this friend never did anything remotely like flirting a d this is an opinion your bf has about ALL guys then you need to work this issue would with your bf first before accepting invites with male friends. Does it seem unfair, sure. But we all need to have undertaking and take time and patience with our partners opinions of you are all desire to keep the relationship for a very long time
@OP have you had a discussion as of why. Make sure you see it from his side insdead of brushing it off. While you may think it's a small thing the guy who invited you might have a diff idea.
Nice twist! if your BF is comfortable with you going with other guys and not this one then I’d sit this one happy hour out - out of respect for your Bf. If he was like this ALL the time then I’d def have a problem and we’d need to talk this out. Idk depends how much you love him lmao
Ha! Another “I’m the girl” switcharoo. Thankfully everyone didn’t bash you and call you all sorts of horrible things like the last thread this happened in.
As a one time thing sometimes you just gotta suck it up and have faith in my opinion, if you start seeing a pattern I would bring it up though and just mention it bothers you
You shouldn’t have to cut friends out of your life just because your boyfriend doesn’t like you hanging with them... that’s just a manipulative way of him controlling you if his jealousy would really make you end up cutting friends out of your life. If you say that your situation with the guy you’d go to drinks with is platonic then he should trust that. Otherwise do you just have to cut out every person in your life that your bf starts to feel uncomfortable about you being around? This is how that starts....
What's the deal here? Your Bf is uncomfy, don't do it. Roles reversed, I doubt you'd be pleased if he still went ahead and hung out with a woman that made you uncomfortable. Not sure what you're confused about.
I am from the part of the world where people get stabbed for looking at your wife. I am not that extreme and I am very secure with my wife. I know she would never do anything that’ll make me uncomfortable because we are in a loving relationship. And that goes both ways. That being said if someone crosses the line I have no problem explaining to little bitch boys what’ll happen if they try me.
Jersey?
If you were out of town and your GF's male friend invited her to happy hour, would you be ok with her going? You've been kinda jealous of this friend before, but she has said he's just a friend.
If you are uncomfortable with it she should respect that.
You don’t have to make up an excuse to your friend not to go to the HH. Just say you can’t go. You don’t need to explain yourself or lie. “Hey, thanks for the invite, but I can’t make it. Let’s catch up another time.” Then change the subject to something else.
I agree with SM1. Many times a guy will then reply to the OPs declining "oh come on, you can join us, it will be fun.." And other suck whining. If anyone tries to guilt the OP into going they usually had an ulterior motive or is just being selfish.
Counterpoint: are you genuinely just friends or is he interested in you? If you’re just friends and it’s a happy hour with a group of people I honestly don’t see the issue, and it sounds like maybe your boyfriend should have a little more self-confidence / trust in you.
If you’re going to drinks one on one after work or if you think he has interest in you that is a totally different story.
You definitely don’t need to get anxiety. You should feel comfortable being honest with both of them.
To the friend you should be able to say “is this a friendly happy hour with more people or is this one on one as something more than friends? You know I have a boyfriend and wouldn’t feel comfortable getting drinks one on one with someone else.”
If it’s casual drinks after work with multiple people and you don’t get the vibe that he is interested in you, you should be able to discuss that with your boyfriend without him getting jealous.
Just remember that in relationships (platonic and not), communicating is key. You shouldn’t be stressed about it.