me&SO went shppping for rings together, couple friends went on about how stupid it was we were buying rings in each others presence. we should choose it for each other. 🙄 what am I missing?

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That they were just jealous you have such a close relationship and open communication to be able to do such a thing.

The ring is meant to match YOUR taste...not the SO’s...so it’s awesome if you’re both onboard with the approach and can tackle it together....you miss out on the “surprise” element...but also remove the potential for the surprise to be a hideous disaster you have to wear on your finger until death does you part 🙃

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yeah I thought this way we both would like the ring 😅 and wear soemthing we both like. I hope it was just jealousy talking 🙄 dont get why they d have to be jealous though

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We shopped for wedding rings together. You wear them for the rest of the life, so you should both be involved in the decision

likesmart

1000% you should shop together. I wish my husband had told me he was buying a ring and taken me with him. What he got is beautiful but it isn’t me. Bottom line it’s best to not be surprised with such an expensive item you’ll be wearing for the rest of your life.

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Your friend should have kept her opinion to herself. My husband picked out my engagement ring by himself but we had talked about it beforehand (simple band, single stone, he decided the budget). We shopped for our wedding bands together and basically picked out what we each liked.

likesmart

Are your friends single?
Also, is this an engagement ring or wedding bands?

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wedding bands, we don't have an engagement culture and we know each other for 10 years now. friend is married with a child

I didn’t even know engagement rings could be surprises! (I’m not from the US) I mean if SO is buying me something expensive that I’ll wear life-long, he better take me with him shopping!
Don’t worry about what others think, OP. As long as both of you’re happy 😊 and Congratulations!

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agree with you. I am not from US either and neither is my friend. so that comment was super odd

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What you’re missing are friends who don’t judge or impose their views of life on you.

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We bought matching bands. We didn’t realize they didn’t have to match 😂

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We don’t have matching bands. He wanted to have a different metal and I wanted stones in mine. It’s no big deal.

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thanks guys!:)

There is such a weird narrative about engagement and romance here with women cast as passive participants in the whole process: don’t initiate or push the marriage discussion, wait for him to come around, don’t participate in ring shopping, wait for him to surprise her with a bended knee proposal (or something over the top). It can be really hard for some women to wrap their heads around another way of being in a relationship that is moving toward marriage. Good for you for going with to shop for rings! Ignore your friend

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