{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Met this guy 4 weeks ago. He lives 4 hours away and has already been down to see me twice and stayed at the hotel for 2 nights each time. Pays for every date even though I offer to pay. He is awesome and I really like him!\nHowever, he was traveling for work last week so our communication went from checking in everyday to one 15 min call middle of the week. He joined this job during COVID so first time meeting his team.. he said they were out past 1am every night. Ummm? (Contd)", "post_id": "60d0a1090edc060022274411", "reply_count": 116, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants" }

Met this guy 4 weeks ago. He lives 4 hours away and has already been down to see me twice and stayed at the hotel for 2 nights each time. Pays for every date even though I offer to pay. He is awesome and I really like him! However, he was traveling for work last week so our communication went from checking in everyday to one 15 min call middle of the week. He joined this job during COVID so first time meeting his team.. he said they were out past 1am every night. Ummm? (Contd)

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Don’t you run the risk of losing the relationship if you don’t mention you were into him? If you like him so much, might be a good idea to drop hints and suggest meeting up more often (maybe you going to his area?). Or make up an excuse - you found a fantastic spot (food, theater, park, bar) near him you wanted to try out, and an added bonus is spending time with him too? Guys like being flattered like this (can state as a happily married guy who’s then-gf dropped hints that sealed the deal).

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Don’t drop hints. State your intention & communicate! No one can read minds

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Girl just talk to him, when my husband would travel every week he was busy as hell and he spent late nights with his team cause it was a bonding session for him. If you can’t talk to him straight now then forget about being a great serious relationship. Communication is key.

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Recent IconRecent

Aina weena dope shope maareya karoooo

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Translation: take a chill pill, smoke a doob.

“Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve pulled back on our conversations which I am sensing as no longer being interested in pursuing this connection. “

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Yup, I concur with KPMG2. Its time to shift focus on to the remaining 5 candidates

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SM real talk. Communicate and ask him what's up. Don't make assumptions about what he was doing until 1 am. Could be a date, could also be partying and getting back into an open world / networking. Communication is key and worst case you got 5 other mans to choose from.

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Be straight with him and let him know you “really like” him. If he confirms and reciprocates similarly then you need not stress over the lack of communication since you have both confirmed that you are a lock.

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Contd.. ... he said they were out past 1am every night. Ummm? Wondering if he was out on another date... I reached out Saturday morning and he called back. We spoke for 30 mins but no communication rest of the weekend - which is unusual considering we connect everyday. Should I assume he doesn't want to put in the effort anymore and move on? I got 5 different guys in rotation hitting me up but I'd drop them all if he wanted to make it official.

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Thanks, D4! I am so happy it worked out for you!

Your story is so oddly specific that if that guy uses this app, he might know this post is about him

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Lol @ flattered 😂

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Get a car, drive to his place and show up at his place on Saturday morning with surprise and Bagels 🥯. Tell him to get ready for all the things you planned for the day. Show some efforts and if is still not interested then continue with your rotations with our guys

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Such surprises very creepy

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Was in a very similar situation - on the other side of the table, as recent as a month ago. Got onto a busy project after a longish leave, where the communication dropped from few hrs daily to 15 mins in 3 days. I had told the guy upfront that I will be busy a few weeks. What followed was his constant overthinking, insecurity and then need for attention. While I liked him otherwise, all of this was a big turn off for me, and I broke up two weeks later. And no, I wasn't seeing someone else. Not commenting on what's going on with your dude, but sharing one of the things that could be.

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Have you guys discussed whether you are exclusive or not? Just sounds like you are in the normal dating phase where you aren’t exclusive yet

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Too late OP. I already popped the question yesterday and I am engaged now 😝

How did you two meet?

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Gotta have deep conversations man. We even shared how much we made and some childhood wounds.

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How many times did you travel to meet him? Effort should be from both sides . Did you end up staying at a hotel yet ?

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OP - Unfortunately some people play games. He might have said that, hoping you wouldn’t want to drive that far but when you said yes, he backed out. If he is truly interested, he would have followed up with you and insisted on it. This is my guess but you know him better.

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OP maybe you should put some effort and go see him the next few times

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It sounds like he's busy and you're obsessing. And he seems less interested than you are. Don't chase, just be chill. It'll either happen or won't. But chasing or bringing it up will decrease the odds. People who want you will always match your energy or go above and beyond. Give it a week or two more

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Any updates OP?

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M2: would you characterize my responses as coming from a “typical Indian man with Desi upbringing” as well?

I read this on Single Consultants and immediately my first thought was it’s a desi post💃🏻.

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