Met this guy on tinder, told him upfront that I’m not looking to play around. He said we can date. So we started off with a few drives and the rest is mostly at my apartment. Last night before he left I said to him I don’t want just see him at my apartment and he got mad as he feels like I’m just constantly unsecured and think I’m been taken advantage of. Deep down I know he’s not serious, and use anger to manipulate what he wants me to do. And I don’t know how to respond.

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You seem like a sweet person and deserve better

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What did you honestly expect? If you’re not looking for sex, why are you using tinder? It’s the quintessential hookup app. Try some other app, because you’re using the wrong one for what you’re looking for.

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So basically he just wants to fuck so y’all always end up going back to your place. I mean do you not want to fuck him? Or at least not every day? If you met on tinder it’s likely that’s what he’s looking for. In my experience girls on tinder aren’t always looking for a hookup but guys usually are. Guys end up dating on tinder but don’t plan to date. Bumble is for dating tinder is for fucking. Just IMO. 28 y/o male who met his gf on tinder lol

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If you know that he is trying to manipulate you into doing what he wants, follow ur instincts and cut him off. 31/M

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DD1 and M1 are 💯 correct. Just move on. No need to fight this battle.

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Why are you continuing to see him if you know he’s not serious?

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Thanks everyone. I just deleted him. Seeing the name disappears makes my heart break. I really hoped he is the one.

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I admire your courage. This was a one-way relationship, in the end. I'm Gen X, so don't know all the dating site possibilities. The only consistent thing I've heard is that Tinder is for hookup rather than trying to build long-lasting relationships.

I met my wife thru Christian Mingle and, 7 years later, things are great.

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anyone who manipulates you, regardless of form, is not worth having in your life. ✂️✂️ 29/F

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Yup, red flag right there

If you want different things, then you are not a match. Just end it and move on. There isn’t really more to it than that.

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Ghost his a$$. Manipulators be manipulating. Please be safe!

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I do wonder if he was being manipulative or any action that wernt to the OPS liking were seen as bad.

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For what it’s worth OP, this “new info” still does sounds like little red flags to me. Raising your voice from the beginning, cutting you off and not hearing you out, sounds like he’s keeping score... Dude is overly defensive from the get go and sounds like he’s trying to assign blame when you’re making a request. Sounds very egotistical and narcissistic. Meanwhile you’re still doing self reflection on some points he brought up (I’d ask your friends for a second opinion, not sure I’d trust the guy spoke objectively).

Relationships aren’t going to be easy all the time, but they should certainly make you feel happy, confident and secure pretty much all the time. And if they’re not easy, there should be an abundance of communication and reflection by both people that brings your feelings back to safety. Don’t settle for anything less. You can’t read minds, your future partner can’t either, and you might hurt each other from time to time but open communication is what will save the right relationship. My only critical advice is to try to be more assertive and cut him off right back, “excuse me, I’m not done talking yet”, but there can always be a situation where that isn’t possible and you should try to stay safe and get out quickly.

likefunny

Just confirm he got mad. I’m a little mouthy but some people see me as getting mad when I actually am not mad.

If he did get mad, huge red flag - and gtfo

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What is “a few drives”? How long have you known this man?

*drive. We chatted for two month before we met in person

Next time propose an activity that is outside. What do you want to do with him? Go for a walk /hike/picnic in a park/ dinner date? See how he reacts. But also I learned through life experiences that my gut feeling is usually right.

Maybe I don't understand the problem. Do you want to do more outside activities? Do you want to go back to his place? Or do you just want to do activities without going g back to anyone's place?

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Ignore him and move on

Ditch this dude

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