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Hi Fishes, need genuine suggestions. Getting offer from HCL with better pay but location not as current but they are agreeing for remote fron current location. I cannot relocate due to my mother health. Wipro giving less pay but same location. What to do? Should I go ahead with HCL Technologies or Wipro
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It does get better but for me it wasn’t until 6months, I ended up taking unpaid leave to bridge myself to that point because it just wasn’t doable otherwise
For me, sleep training was a big turning point (5 mos), even if she was still waking up a couple times per night. Honestly, it's hard spending your whole day with the baby and you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to be away him for a while. That doesn't make you a bad parent. I was looking forward to my LO going to daycare, even though I knew it was going to be a tough transition for her. But having my days back gave me the sanity I needed.
I found a huge turning point around 3-4 months for multiple reasons.
1) nursing sessions dropped from about 45min to 15-20 (and slightly longer times in between feedings meant getting back almost 3 hours a day)
2) sleeping through the night. I recommend the book healthy sleep habits, happy child
3) colic wound down so no more screaming incessantly for 2-3 hours a day
4) consistent social smiles! Definitely makes them more fun
... and sometimes all night too. I don’t currently see it getting better and I’m wondering if the “it gets better” is really all a lie...
I found it easier once he started eating solid foods. A fuller tummy made for better sleeping.
It gets easier (they sleep through the night) and get less fussy after 6 months.
Are you doing this all by yourself? It really helps to have someone who can help you on a daily basis ... even for a few hours so you can refresh and recharge .
With my first, I’d say around 12 weeks was a turning point. I was going back at 16 weeks too, so I started trying really hard to get him to nap more in his crib (instead of on me!) and getting to an earlier bedtime.
My second just turned 12 weeks and I just started working on that stuff again last week (admittedly, it’s harder with his toddler brother around!) So far, the 7:30 bedtime for the baby has helped my sanity and ability to feel human and actually talk to my husband with no kids around. The naps are a work in progress but we’re getting there!
For what it’s worth, I’m adding TFY to my maternity leave this time and I really regret not doing it last time, if that’s an option for you to get an extra 8 weeks!
I think it really depends on the baby. Mine is 6 months, just started solids a few weeks ago and still gets up a few times a night but he’s great during the day On the fence about sleep training/CIO...
Agree that 6 months was a turning point, though it got slightly easier around 16 weeks for me.
Also suggest getting some alone time to rejuvenate (whether with a friend, babysitter, family member).
Lastly if you need help with sleep training, don't be afraid of talking to a sleep consultant (😉). I used Katie Pitts of sleepwise consulting, she gave me a 15 min free consult where she suggested I move my son's bedtime up earlier (from 8pm to 7pm) to help avoid 5/6am wakings which helped a ton (after a few days we got him to 7pm-7am).
Thanks everyone! I’m not worried so much with balancing everything... my husband is very involved and will be out on his paternity leave for the first few months that I am back. I guess I am more upset that my time off with my son feels like this constant ordeal and has very few fun moments. At the risk of sounding like a terrible mom, I am actually extra excited to go back to work and not be the one at home getting screamed at all day. But the advice I get feels like constant bait and switch... “it will get better when he’s one month” then “it will get better when he’s three months” now “it will get better when he’s six months.” I love him so much, but man is it hard! I guess it will get better when he’s eighteen years old and goes off to college... anyway, I appreciate the thoughts and will look forward to maybe it getting better at six months!
I can’t tell you how many times I told my husband I wish someone else could have done months 0-4 and I’d take over at 4-8. We had a very difficult first 3 months. I don’t know if it gets so much better per see, but they start similing and seeming more like a person, and trying to sit up. So it eases some of the crappy parts. We did early sleep training too (~3ish months) which helped
It does get easier, the point at which that happens just varies by baby. Sleep training really helped my sanity because we got our evenings back and he started sleeping much better overnight. I also found that putting him on more of a consistent daytime schedule for naps, eating etc. really helped to minimize fussiness during the day or at least helped me have a better sense of why he was fussy. Gas/tummy troubles also seem to miraculously resolve themselves sometime between 12 and 16 weeks which also helps with reducing fussiness.
It gets better! Until teething starts. Then it gets exponentially worse.
Nothing prepares you for how hard it is! Definitely second sleep training. We did 12 hours by 12 weeks by Suzy Giordino, and it was life changing... I think the challenges just change as they develop. Once you master one, another comes along. It gets more rewarding when they become a little person and respond to you more. I took 5 months off and was ready to go back to work, too. I took two weeks off when he was almost two, and that was so much better than maternity leave