{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Moms, need some advice. Husband and I have decided to try to get pregnant. I love the thought of having a baby but there is this nagging anxiety about life changing drastically & the thought of how good of a mom I will be. I don’t take well to big changes in life so knowing this is going to be physically & emotionally different is worrying me. Anyone been through this?", "post_id": "60b91fc5fedc5b001c81edbc", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Moms, need some advice. Husband and I have decided to try to get pregnant. I love the thought of having a baby but there is this nagging anxiety about life changing drastically & the thought of how good of a mom I will be. I don’t take well to big changes in life so knowing this is going to be physically & emotionally different is worrying me. Anyone been through this?

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I don’t think anyone can ever prepare for the change that a baby brings. I think it’s totally normal to mourn your old life since things do change, but there are new things to look forward to. Change is hard but when there’s a little person smiling and hugging you at the end of the day, it makes it all worth it.

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It does change your life but not for the bad. You can also (as much as possible) make your baby fit into your life. There are also phases - now that our kid is a toddler it’s very different than having a baby and in another year activities and events will look different with a preschooler. I can say I’ve maintained my friends and traveled (covid threw the wrench in there) and done fun things and enjoyed experiences with my family and by myself. Best of luck!

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Following. 9 months pregnant and missing my old carefree traveling adventurous life while nervous, excited and terrified for my new one.

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PM1. I was like this prior. Just gave birth in March. I’m a FTM. Not gonna lie. It’s extremely hard I spent a few weeks mourning my previous life even though I love my daughter more than life itself. But everyone above it right that there are now new adventures. I can’t wait to take my little to all of the places I love so she can experience them for the first time. It will be hard to be tethered down a bit for the first year or two, but mine is almost three months and I’m spending a fair amount of down time planning all of our fun adventures in the near future.

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Everything changes but that’s just kind of the deal. Lots of positives (along with some drawbacks). Honestly if you want to be a parent, no use worrying about it, just jump in and make the best of it!

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I agree with SM1 that there will be parts of your life (and your life with your spouse) that you may grieve after a child. You can’t really prepare for it but you can acknowledge it and explicitly prioritize the areas you want to maintain. It is also impossible to put into words how fulfilling it can be. It really is a strange combination of the most bitter and most sweet. The hardest and best job you can never quit.

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Yes yes this was me! And now I can’t believe I waited so long. It is pure joy (and exhausting) but my point is that the life change is amazing.

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Your life changes and it is not better or worst, it is different. Some things might need to be on hold or well planned, but it will be OK. I was afraid of becoming a new mom in another country without a support system, so my mom is here and it made all the difference even though I have an amazing husband. In the beginning, I was scared of doing anything wrong. I was like, How do they let us out of the hospital? But, we got it and if you get a female family member or a doula it will make all the difference because you will get to sleep a bit more and she will reassure you in your decisions. Never, never disregard the emotional impact of sleep deprivation.

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Thanks everyone! This helps so much. There definitely is a lot of positive to having a baby and I am going to be as mentally prepared as I can.

I felt this exact same way - I had anxiety about it that I couldn’t shake. I literally had an epiphany one day, can’t explain it any other way, and all of sudden felt “ready.” My daughter is 9 months old and am so in love! I still have my individual and professional identity (was worried about losing both) but get to add my mom identity, too. No matter which way you slice it, it’s a leap of faith — and that is HARD. Be patient with yourself and the process. And if you need to, talk to a therapist or your doctor! I had about a year of therapy before getting pregnant and it helped tremendously in helping clarify and understand what I really wanted in my life and how to manage my anxiety around these big decisions

Thanks for the great advice D2! Really appreciate it!

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