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I would not count on childcare until after the child is born and you have vetted they are willing and able to care for a baby. They’re likely not up to date on latest pediatric recommendations, might be older/not in great shape for lifting and carrying around a baby all day, and most of all because the best part of being a grandparent is getting to spoil your grandkids and many aren’t willing to enforce boundaries or discipline.
My parents live in northern CA while we live in southern CA, are retired and will support when things come up - for example we took him out of daycare for two weeks while looking for a new one and they drove down to live with us during that time. I would recommend having the conversation in advance, thinking through the living situation or other logistics, then doing a test run with them when the baby is here to make sure they are “coachable” in terms of how you want to manage the baby. Even now with a 2 year old it was tough for us because my mom tends to be stubborn about how she raised us vs how we want our son cared for...but a trial helped us at least recognize it for what it is, which is basically help when we’re in a pinch so we’ll make a lot of concessions. Good luck!!!
I live in NorCal and my parents live in SoCal. We should parents-swap lol
I was in the same boat when I was pregnant my husband made it seem like my MIL would be the primary caretaker when I went back to work and until my husband finished school, turns out she was only willing to come one day a week for around 5 hours this is also only if the weather is good enough to drive in. And this is perfectly fine, we chose to have a child not her so I have made other paid arrangements but I wouldn’t assume anything until you’ve heard from your in laws directly what they are willing to do. And things like driving in bad weather or in the dark are important to make clear as well. You don’t want to wake up one morning with it raining and be SOL for your care for that day when you have to go to work.
My parents are far but in laws are about an hour away. They take him for a weekend every few months since he was born 1.5 yrs ago. They are going to take him for a week later in the year. And maybe 4 times theyve taken him for just a date night. And then when we randomly didnt have childcare, they took him 4 days a week for 3 weeks. It makes all the difference. It is so so helpful and we love to see the connection they have. Id say even if his parents are willing and able to do full time or even part time, i think itd be better to save them for the vacations, mini getaways, dates, and emergencies