Moms with 3 kids... how did you decide to go for 3 and do you regret it (obviously you never regret kids) but does it make life so much harder. I’m 1 of 3 and like the sibling dynamic but struggling with the chaos it’ll add to our already chaotic life

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My sister in law has 3 under 5 and she says it was a huge mistake. I’m sure it gets better later as they’re more independent but seems like you will hate your life for a long long time ... also can’t imagine juggling it in the covid world.

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We have two under three and are starting to try for a third. We just embrace the chaos. And candidly pay for extremely high quality childcare (full time nanny). And it goes without saying but my husband is also super super involved with the kids. Extended family is involved too although less so right now for obvious reasons. I think the magic is in your mindset. Eg giving each kid individualized attention... do they really need that? What do you think families with like seven kids do

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Our third was unplanned and ours are spread apart several years in age so it’s exhausting but I don’t think we would have survived if they were closer together in age. This way our kids are in different phases and at least our older two can go to school. Home is always messier than I like and there is so.much.laundry. And some days it feels relentless. But I’m an only child and I am filled with joy when I hear my kids talk to each other and play with each other and love each other (amongst the screaming). You definitely need $$ for good childcare, both parents committed and involved, and a new mindset about groceries and cars and everything else.

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Following. Have 2 and debating whether to go for a 3rd. I’m one of four and love having a bunch of siblings, but I’m drowning trying to give each of my children individualized attention and can’t imagine splitting my time further.

I think the issue is you go from man to man coverage to zone coverage (sorry, watching football). Seriously though, it changes the way you need to parent in a lot of ways. Not just the man-man vs zone but even the vehicle you will need. A sedan is super hard with three. you need a double or triple stroller (depending on spacing). Maybe I’m jaded because I had multiples but the man on man vs zone thing doesn’t go away even as they age. You can get around it by hiring people. Uber helped a ton when they were old enough to go on their own but I couldn’t be in so many places at once. That said, I never thought I’d have a random stranger take my kids anywhere....somehow that was the saving grace when they got older but before they could drive (oh, did I mention you will want like 5 cars when they are teenagers...)

You go to the park. Man to man coverage says daddy watches #1 and mommy watches #2. If one needs to go to football while the other is going to soccer you’ve got a parent to split the drive. If both babies fall down then you have a parent each to manage the booboos, no one has to wait. This is man on man coverage. (You switch to zone coverage when you go to the park alone with 2 kids or are a stay at home parent with two kids also)

With three or more - especially over the age of 3 but under say 6 -you might dress them alike in bright shirts so that they are easy to find. You are constantly counting heads (or bright shirts) to make sure no one is missing/hurt/misbehaving. You might position yourself and your partner between the kids and the obvious exits (and pray a bit). By definition you can’t do man on man coverage - you are always in zone coverage. You find ways to humanely keep them still/safe while you take care of the one in greatest need. One of them has to wait.

Caveat....my kids were very close in age - the whole man on man/zone issue might not apply if you’ve got an older kid to actually help out. Mine were three kids in 22 months.

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I have three under 4, and it's chaos but beautiful. Agree with comments about expensive high quality childcare. Outsource household chores. Definitely helps to have an engaged partner. Mine does all the cooking, and probably 30-50% of other parenting depending on the day.

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