Most inappropriate joke you’ve heard while on the job?

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Nice try mayor Bloomberg. We’re not going to make you look good.

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Was working with a very difficult consultant from a different team, mentioned it to my EM and he told me next time the other guy is difficult, send him to his (EM's) office and " I'll show him what a real dick looks like."
I dont think he meant it that way, but I found it equal parts hilarious and inappropriate.

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I don’t remember the details but when I was working retail in college, my manager told a joke that was supposed to be funny because the punchline was about someone with Downs Syndrome. When I didn’t laugh or smile, he tried to explain it to me. I said, “I understand the joke but it wasn’t funny. You are not funny.” and just held eye contact. What a douche.

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👌

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“What do Bud Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They’re both fucking too close to water.” - client PM, while team is checking emails, no intro or outro

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This is a Monty python joke

“Heres a bonus plan with targets you’ll never be able to hit.”

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Brand new CFO (second day on the job) walks into a meeting on vendor selection and shares his perspective on the approach to negotiating with SAP:

“It’s like that old Arab proverb. You should beat your wife often, because even if you don’t know why you’re beating her she will”

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I've worked with all sorts of inappropriate folks and find humor in most awkward/dirty ways imaginable. The only thing bordering on offensive and off limit in my books is family; otherwise everything else is fair game.

The worst I've heard at a work happy hour was "Q: What 2 things in the air get a women pregnant? A: Her Legs"

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