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Looking to unlock my DMs pls...walter says hi
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So…. JPMC offers $110k for iOS developers in Chicago with 3 YoE and Citi bank will throw up $150-160k if I move to Irving Texas. And….. this is what their analysts are making in LONDON? Lol no… nah—- hahahhhaa oh my god that sucks
https://www.efinancialcareers.co.uk/news/2022/05/analyst-salaries-investment-banks-london?utm_source=GLOBAL_ALL_ENG
Deloitte question. I have always gotten a raise each year, the only question I ask is how much of a raise do I get. But I’m hearing from former Deloitte folks, it is naive to expect annual raises each year however small/big they are? And how does this play in Deloitte consulting vs advisory? Do one tend to withhold annual raises in base salary over the other, or is this just a deloitte culture thing? Looking at exit opportunities all over. So lmk! I’d Rather get a small raise than none at all.
61% utilization as a first year associate. RIP
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Nice try mayor Bloomberg. We’re not going to make you look good.
Was working with a very difficult consultant from a different team, mentioned it to my EM and he told me next time the other guy is difficult, send him to his (EM's) office and " I'll show him what a real dick looks like."
I dont think he meant it that way, but I found it equal parts hilarious and inappropriate.
I don’t remember the details but when I was working retail in college, my manager told a joke that was supposed to be funny because the punchline was about someone with Downs Syndrome. When I didn’t laugh or smile, he tried to explain it to me. I said, “I understand the joke but it wasn’t funny. You are not funny.” and just held eye contact. What a douche.
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“What do Bud Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They’re both fucking too close to water.” - client PM, while team is checking emails, no intro or outro
This is a Monty python joke
“Heres a bonus plan with targets you’ll never be able to hit.”
Brand new CFO (second day on the job) walks into a meeting on vendor selection and shares his perspective on the approach to negotiating with SAP:
“It’s like that old Arab proverb. You should beat your wife often, because even if you don’t know why you’re beating her she will”
I've worked with all sorts of inappropriate folks and find humor in most awkward/dirty ways imaginable. The only thing bordering on offensive and off limit in my books is family; otherwise everything else is fair game.
The worst I've heard at a work happy hour was "Q: What 2 things in the air get a women pregnant? A: Her Legs"